Spare a thought for Ishq.

Ah, Ishq. You are the most entertaining bad film ever, or a hot mess that's a tragic wasted opportunity considering the talented, likable cast - depending on who you ask. You're the worst of Anu Malik soundtracks, or the best example of an Anu Malik soundtrack - again, depending on the listener.

I'm in the camp of Ishq lovers, and unapologetically so. But as with any bad movie, to actually value it in that perverse The Room type of cult phenomenon type of way is just not on (I mean that in the sense that I've had people praise The Room to me as a pinnacle of film-making, like there's some kind of wild genius hidden in its badness). This is a bad film, superb in its badness, but not necessarily to be admired for that quality. A bad film is a bad film is a bad film. Some bad films just happen to be entertaining.

All the characters and events in Ishq are hysterical and over-the-top. The comedy of the first half, what with the ape driving the car and Juhi spreading tooth paste all over Aamir's face in a fit of anger, is just so out there you wonder how anybody thought it was a good idea. The songs are a constant joy; the first one, "Humko tumse pyaar hai" fits neatly into the weird category of pervy love songs that have picturisations like out of a horror film. "Ishq hua" is every 90's Bollywood love song cliché neatly squeezed into one package, with the kind of lyrics that didn't seem to take that much thought (ishq hua / kaise hua? / accha hua! / jaise hua! - congratulations, that's four rhymes worth of "hua"). "Neend churayi mera", the song picturized above, is a ripped off disco tune with some pretty cheesy dance moves, and of course, a villain trying to shoot our foursome of heroes.

And of course, there are just no words for "Mr Lova Lova" apart from this one: why?

Then there's the epic second half, where angst reaches heightened proportions, there's attempted suicide and some other really deeply messed up stuff. Again: hot mess of story-telling. And yet weirdly enjoyable.
I should probably do a proper write-up of Ishq, with screencaps and all. But for now, spare a thought for Ishq - if for nothing else, than for the fact that grave mistakes ought not be forgotten..

30 Days of Film - Day 29.

29. A movie from your childhood

When you begin watching Indian films aged 16, it's largely debatable whether you can have a childhood favourite. A teenage favourite?

Regardless, Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge was maybe the third or fourth Hindi film I watched and probably the first one I properly fell in love with. I've waxed poetic about the film, and how it may not be that same magical experience for everybody, but on me it certainly worked like a charm. I can certainly see the film's flaws and problems, but it remains a film I'll gladly rewatch. The chemistry works, the story works, and even if the soundtrack is not the most amazing Jatin-Lalit soundtrack out there, that works splendidly on me as well.

Mini-reviews, lately watched: the Merely Okay Films pile.

Challo Dilli - This 2011 film was rather charming. I mostly watched it for the curious pairing (non-romantic) of Lara Dutta and Vinay Pathak. Both I like a lot, not typically to watch a film for, but I definitely enjoyed them in this. A story of two very different individuals having to road-trip to get to Delhi was paced nicely and shot prettily, showcasing northern Indian sights in a lovely way, and both actors did great. The ending delivers a bit of a heart-tugging twist, but you end up walking away from the film with a smile. S'all good.

Tere Bin Laden - The Pakistani popstar Ali Zafar stars in this and seems to be gaining popularity on the acting front in general. He's rather good! Sadly the film itself was not massively impressive. I think it suffered a bit from a case of overhype for me? It may been a positive surprise for everybody else but by the time I got to it, it was just okay. I enjoyed it, and it didn't drag on, but I doubt I'll ever feel the desire to rewatch and while as a comedy it worked, definitely better than I would have assumed going by the plot premise, it didn't become a favourite.

We Are Family - I know I'm a terrible Kajol fan because I only saw this film now. I've not seen the original film, Stepmom, but if this version is anything to go by, it's a solid, nice film. It's always refreshing to see a Bollywood movie adapt a Hollywood one honestly, with full credit & rights stated in the opening credits.

I grew up in what some people would call a "broken family" based on the fact that my parents were not together (a term I'd obviously disagree with - I know so many friends whose families are more broken than mine, whilst being together) so the topic was close to heart in some ways. I'm however too old to remember what it's like to dislike a parent's new partner instead of being open-minded and thinking "if this person makes them happy", so I didn't feel very sympathetic towards the kids and their little tantrums towards the beginning of the movie.

The other minor problem I had with the film was the role of the father, which was pretty much ..popping by every now and then. I don't normally get very feminist on my Indian films but this one annoyed me because couldn't Arjun's character have done a bit more to help out? It seemed sort of ridiculous it was such a strong assumption that all that housework/childcare was the women's work, not his business.

Other than those two minor annoyances, I enjoyed the film.

IFAC #13: The cheesier side of the industry's favourite jodi.

When I first saw Bollywood, I especially enjoyed three things about it; Kajol, Shahrukh, and the coupling of the two on screen. I wanted to see more of them, and so after K3G (my first BW film), I got my hands on Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (which I liked) and Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (which I adored).

But I still had two SRK-Kajol films to watch, two films not so universally loved but still seen by most because, well, even if you don't love SRK-Kajol, who doesn't love 90's masala?

So here are the song clips people rarely associate with the legendary pairing ..one can only wonder why this is.



Yeh Kaali Kaali Aankheen from Baazigar. 90's Bollydisco with all the ridiculousness but also all the catchiness in the world. Sinfully long at 7 minutes but still guilty pleasure gold.



Baazigar O Baazigar from ..Baazigar. Also very long, but so worth it, what with all the delightful costume changes (from Zorro and bride to a sailing couple to whatever Spanish/Latin-American stereotype the next get-up is..) And never forgetting the bit where Shahrukh jumps out of the water with a trumpet in hand. Bless.



Jaati hoon main from Karan Arjun. Truly fabulous piece of farmyard eroticism plus general fun goofing around. I unironically adore what Kajol is wearing. And pretty much everything else, too. I need to rewatch the movie because damn, was it fun.

Writer's block mini-reviews, part 1.

So, I have this blog. And I've seen ..according to my current count, 183 Indian films (give or take, I have some films I'm half-way through, and some films might be missing from the list I have). How many of them have I actually discussed here? A miniscule portion. Let me try to correct that. I inserted my alphabetical list of films seen onto random.org's randomizer and out came a new, randomized list. Here are the first 10 items on that list.

1. Duplicate (1998) - A list of Shahrukh Khan films I absolutely adore is not too long. Even shorter is the list of his movies that I adore in which he is full-on, one hundred percent unsaturated Shahrukh Khan, not toned down as you see him in Chak De India, for example. Duplicate is one of those movies. It's a loud, physical comedy film starring Shahrukh in a double role. The leather-wearing badboy Mannu is out on the run and discovers a foolish mama's boy Bablu bears an uncanny resemblance to him. Hijinks, mistaken identities, romance (Sonali Kulkarni as Mannu's foxy but mistreated girlfriend and Juhi Chawla as Bablu's adorable ladyboss) and hillarity ensue. This one has an uber-catchy, cheesy 90's soundtrack, too. It's just so much fun!

2. Sahib Biwi aur Ghulam (1962) - My first Guru Dutt movie and one of my favourites. On my first watch I remember being completely confused on the social reality portrayed in the movie, I think I still am. Essentially Guru Dutt plays a man who comes to work for a royalty of some kind, meets a lovely girl (Waheeda Rehman) and also gets to know the royalty's lonely, tragic wife (Meena Kumari). It's a classic, and it's a lot less sad than a lot of other Dutt movies so I can definitely recommend it. Oddly enough I've read that by the time this was filmed, Waheeda Rehman and Guru Dutt were not on good terms with each other at all - yet I think their chemistry is great in this!

3. Kaakha Kaakha: The Police (2003) - This is a well-made Tamil action thriller about, you guessed it, cops. Surya plays a policeman whose group are "encounter specialists". This basically means if they run into some gangsters, they can shoot at free will, and boy, do they ever. I thought this was well-made but the actual plot didn't interest me much. It's worth a rental for the smooth soundtrack and the spectacular Jothika-Surya pairing. She looks amazing in this.

4. Yaadon ki Baaraat (1973) - The soundtrack contains one of my favourite Hindi songs ever, "Chura liya hai tumne jo dilko" and that's why I saw this one. It's a mediocre film about three brothers separated at childhood, starring Dharmendra and Zeenat Aman (not paired!) and has a very young Aamir Khan in one scene. And .. I don't know what else to say, really. It's not that bad. It's just not that good, either.


5. Aethiree/Ethiri (2004) - Oh Maddy. Oh, Maddy. This Tamil masala starts out pretty light and fun - R. Madhavan plays a regular guy who gets mistaken for a rowdie (that's Tamil-filmish for 'street gangster, troublemaker') and therefore starts pretending to act like one, even though he is a total wuss. There's a funny friend (Vivek!), a pretty girl (Sada) and it's generally pretty cool (I rather adore this song). Then something happens and the plot just veers off into massive WTF zone and all the cuteness of the movie is successfully ruined. I'm glad I could borrow this DVD off a friend - and look at that cover, can you see why I wanted to see it despite my friend's warnings? - because a few good songs, and some minor Maddy&Sada cuteness DVD purchase does not make.

6. Aarzoo (1999) - I've already discussed this but let us recap: awful Sakshay movie with Madhuri, don't watch, don't watch, do not watch.

7. 36 China Town (2006) - I still own this Abbas-Mustan comedy/thriller despite Race making me question everything those guys have ever directed. It's not a great movie, but when it came out, after nothing good had come out since Rang De Basanti and Fanaa was still a month away, it was a pleasant surprise. Kareena was funny in it, Akshaye was funny in it, and okay okay, it also gave us Upen Patel but no film's perfect, right?

8. Karan Arjun (1995) - Before Sakshay came along, my favourite Bollywood on-screen pair was without a doubt Kajol-SRK. Which is why I saw this one, a damn cheesy film that is so far the only film where we've seen Shahrukh and Salman side by side. It's got insane mother-love, an even more insane villain, resurrection, cheesy 90's dance moves.. If you think Kajol and Shahrukh only did great movies together, you have to watch this one. I don't own it on DVD because while fun, it's not quite that much fun, but every now and then I feel like rewatching "Jaati hoon main" on youtube..

9. Aradhana (1969) - I have to say I enjoyed this classic Sharmila Tagore-Rajesh Khanna starrer, not least of all because it contains the (hot!) picturization for "Roop tera mastana", another song favourite of mine. But despite my enjoyment, there were things about the plot that did not quite sit right with me. The mother who goes through tremendous sacrifice, the double role of Rajesh Khanna.. I guess what I'm getting at is that even though I quite liked it, it's nowhere near becoming a favourite of mine.

10. Achanak (1973) - I cannot fathom why I never bought this movie. It's total Vinod Fangirl Fodder. He plays a soldier who makes questionable choices in life and later battles with them mentally (read: manpain), relaying the story of his life to his doctor and his nurse (Farida Jalal as a young actress!). It's a soundtrackless Gulzar movie that pokes your brain about life, death and morality, but it's also an odd one; very short, only a little over an hour in running time. And a lot of it is Vinod. It's just fantastic. More films should be like this.


This was a lot of fun to do! When my next "cannot figure out what to post" mood strikes, I shall make use of this randomized list once again.

The unavoidable Khan.

Isn't there enough talk in the world about this man right here, Shahrukh Khan? When even a Finnish paper has a small bit about his stardom and Berlin visit (and a mention that his latest, Om Shanti Om is screening at Helsinki International Film Festival), it's a sign that either everything that can be said about the man has already been said, or that you can simply discuss him all eternity.

I'd prefer if it was the former, but then I think back the last seven days of my life, and it has to be said: I've had plenty of Shahrukh this week.

A week ago I saw Chak De India (also at HIFF!), one of those Shahrukh films I'd been avoiding because it hadn't really interested me (simple as that!). However, I was glad to discover this was not really a Shahrukh Khan movie as much as it was a film where Shahrukh Khan plays a lead character. Some of you might be raising your eye-brows, but those of you who've seen plenty of King Khan know exactly what I mean.

I really enjoyed Chak De India, because as stated previously, it's these girls who get to play center stage. It's a sports movie, but definitely among the best, most moving ones I've seen, full stop. Girl power at the core, Shahrukh's character Kabir Khan also has his own plotline, but just as important, if not more so, are the individual storylines of the female hockey team's players and in typical sports film fashion, the team spirit that allows you to overcome any obstacle.

Another refreshing change in the film was the lack of "negative nationalism", or in other words, extremely caricature-like negative portrayal of non-Indian characters. The foreigners are only enemies on the hockey field, and there were no racist or xenophobic insults exchanged.

The following day I watched Om Shanti Om for the third time, and I must say I find the movie less enjoyable, less encaging and more overrated with each viewing. I love me some inside jokes, and some scenes are undoubtedly as hilarious as ever (Abhishek and Akshay steal the show at Filmfare, and the build up to Dard-e-Disco picturization is great) but overall the movie just fails to keep me interested. Shahrukh's parodic hamming it up is no longer sympathetic and everything is just so distanced, I can't really believe in the characters or the story. As my friend put it, "great collection of scenes". But the best movies should be more than the sum of their parts, right?

I guess I just got a Shahrukh-overdose. And yet, today when deciding what to start my relaxing weekend with, I went with my favourite movie of his: Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge.

It's difficult to explain why I have such a special relationship with this movie in particular. I guess the most important thing is that it is built exactly like that; a personal relationship. I didn't fall in love with DDLJ because millions of Indians had, or because everybody who liked Bollywood had. At the get go it was simply a film I saw with two stars I wanted to see in more films, Kajol and Shahrukh Khan. I hadn't heard any of the hype. It captivated me even without subtitles, and once I saw it with subtitles, I was even more smitten. It had flaws, too, no doubt, and even today I am very hesitant about calling it 'the best' of anything. At the same time, it holds a certain magic for me not many other movies do.

And Shahrukh as Raj is the kind of charming perfection even the man himself hasn't been able to duplicate in anything since (of course, this being merely my own view). As I was rewatching, I realized it's a combination of a lot of small things; the way he calls her "Senorita" even though the story about the Spanish girlfriend sounds a little made up, the smug expression on his face each time he tells her "nothing can go wrong" and the embarrassment when something, of course, does go wrong. But also the big things: the care-free attitude and the promise that he'll be serious when he falls in love, a promise which he of course fulfills..

Whatever the director Aditya Chopra is working on with Shahrukh right now, I know not to expect it to bring out the kind of feelings I have for DDLJ. But I suppose so long as it works, I'll be happy.

Superficial charms; hottest men and women of Indian films.

Inspired by an entry posted by Nicki, and by some thoughts that occurred to me during my umpteenth rewatch of Hum Tum last night, here are some stunningly good-looking people that grace our screens. Your mileage may vary, this is just a list according to my tastes.

Saif Ali Khan, here as not-a-good-man in Ek Hasina Thi, the film he looks best in and acts his best in, at least until we got Omkara.

Abhishek Bachchan, doing the guh-worthy eye-brow thing in Jhoom Barabar Jhoom. Mon amour, Ricki Thukral.

Vikram making clothes most reminiscient of tinfoil look good in Arul.

Vinod Khanna being his magnificient self in Sachaa Jhutha.

Surya looking smouldering alongside Laila in Nandhaa.
Random, slightly odd but stunning handsome pic of Akshay Kumar all the same.

R. Madhavan, dreamy as ever, in Guru.

And now onto the ladies..


Hema Malini then.

Hema Malini now.

North-Indian girl in South-Indian movies; Jyothika.

Not the best of actresses (not even close), but I can't resist her smile. Katrina Kaif from Singh is Kinng here.

The wonderful Kajol.

Always a darling, Juhi Chawla in Hum Hai Rahi Pyaar Ke.

Regal Zeenat Aman in Dharam-Veer.

Smile of the century: Rani Mukherjee in Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic.

Doll-esque pose of Preity Zinta in a recent magazine.

Classic beauty: Madhubala in Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi.

Was that more gals than guys? I guess it just goes to show - Indian women are gorgeous! Indian men, well, only nearly as..

Introducing Sakshay, part III: Yeh Dillagi

Yeh Dillagi is the movie I wouldn't recommend watching for Sakshay, but would strongly recommend watching for Kajol. Of course, never forgetting that we're walking through the fashion minefield of the 90's, and Yeh Dillagi is more a harmless fluff fest than a masterpiece to be remembered by future generations.

Akshay and Saif play brothers in this re-modelling of the Hollywood classic Sabrina. Kajol is naturally the stunning heroine, who both of the brothers fall for. Standard plot with standard treatment - it is a Yash Chopra-produced film, after all.

But there are highlights! Akshay gets to be the nerd who kicks ass when necessary (read: to save Saif's butt), Saif shows his comic timing, probably for the first time ever, and it's actually pretty delightful despite mullet. And Kajol, god bless her, delivers both beauty and charisma on-screen, even in some questionable fashion choices.

The soundtrack has the composer going crazy on the keyboards, but I rather adore it regardless. "Ole ole" is a hilarious Saif guilty pleasure that always gets stuck in my head, and the other Saif song, "Hoton pe bas" is a dumb song with a silly picturization (those dance moves! oh 90's!) but I find myself rewatching it anyway.

It's been quite a while since I watched this film, so if there were any significant flaws in the movie other than the fact it is in no way a masterpiece, I've forgotten about them. Akshay-Kajol chemistry did not exactly blow me away, and I find myself hoping for another Saif-Kajol movie, because their comic timings match well and this remains the only watchable movie the two were in together.

For a fluffy but ultimately pretty forgettable 90's ride, enjoy this mischief. Yes, I do sound like a half-assed DVD cover tag line, sometimes.