Remake-mania or manic remakes? Rowdy Rathore and Siruthai.

Both based on the Telugu hit Vikramarkudu, I watched Rowdy Rathore and Siruthai in conjunction with one another, and not by accident. It just so happened that I didn't have the luxury of working subtitles for the Tamil version (Siruthai). After watching Rowdy, I figured I could follow the gist of the story and compare the performances, and began watching. Even without having seen the Telugu original, it was interesting to see both of the remakes that followed it. 

I'm not one to discourage Indian film industries from remaking each other's films, as its a tried-and-tested formula, and gives interesting, new stories different audiences, and bigger audiences. I do wonder though, are some of these remakes perhaps even too fateful to the originals? It seemed as if these movies shared absolutely everything - the highlights as well as the low points. 

The plot kicks off with our hero, Shiva in the Hindi version (played by Akshay Kumar), a thief, stealing things and falling in love with our heroine Paro (Sonakshi Sinha). Eventually a young girl emerges, who insists that Shiva is her father, and from there the story snowballs into an action masala one, filled with horrifying villains, dance numbers, gory violence and duplicates. 

The comedic sidekick in the Hindi version isn't very funny and thus the beginning feels like it's lagging desperately. The romantic comedy portion of Shiva and Paro falling in love isn't quite as amusing as I would've liked, either, and so I was just waiting for the film to get going. Eventually it does, in quite a spectacular manner, and the backstory gives good pay-off as well, but I just never felt like I was too in love with the film. And trust me, I really wanted to be. I mean, Akshay doing an action role with Prabhudeva in the director's seat? Yes, please, more.

Yet something just didn't click with me. It's certainly a passable entertainer, down to great fight choreography (though be warned for gory violence) and fantastic song numbers, in which the music, for whatever reason, reminded me of 90's Bollywood. And in my books, that's only a good thing. There were also a number of delicious cameos in the songs, which I enjoyed a ton. Still, I can't help but feel a bit disappointed. Maybe there's some room for improvement in Sonakshi's acting? I like her, but Akshay definitely outperformed her here, and while the heroine role in the story is a pretty thankless one, she just didn't impress me, so I never felt their chemistry as much as I'd have liked.

Rowdy Rathore is a film I'd recommend for a viewing (if you're into Southie remake action masalas), but wouldn't list among my favourites of last year. It's a shame, because I really wanted to like it more. 

Siruthai had a lot of things going for it (the Paiyaa coupling Karthi-Tamanna as the leads, and everybody's favourite new Tamil comedian, Santhanam as the comedic sidekick) but in the end my thoughts on this film are largely similar to that about Rowdy Rathore. The plot points are replicated so loyally that in Siruthai, the beginning moves slowly as well, and it feels as if the film only really gets going about an hour in.

Of course, the sad thing about not having subtitles for this film was that it made me miss out on the comedy of Santhanam, who I've really grown to like as of late. While some comedians are pretty physical, or very expressive in their faces, making the comedy translate even when there's no subtitled translation or if the subtitles are very unclear. Santhanam's comedy tends to lean towards the more verbal side, however, and having no familiarity with the Tamil language, I was forced to miss out. It's a shame, because in every role I've seen him in thus far, I've really enjoyed him in.

Now, this was my first taste of Karthi in full on masala mode. Paiyaa was masala, too, but his character in it was a rather stern, serious type, whereas Siruthai features some broad comedy besides the action and the romance. I'm not yet sold on the guy - he seems to have the bright-eyed charm of his brother Surya, but he's not quite there yet for me in terms of really selling it. He was merely okay in here, and while I won't mind watching him in the future, I doubt I'll be rushing to get more of his films.

Tamanna was once again a charming presence in a rather flimsy role. She continues to be one of my favourite actresses making a career in the Southern industries (ironic, since much like my former Southie favourite, Jothika, Tamanna is also a Northern girl - she hails from Mumbai). As sadly often in Southie films, it feels like she was there for a bit of romcom and then for the songs, which is a shame, since it's clear she's capable of more substantial roles as well. Regardless, the songs are fun, if fairly forgettable.

In some ways, the near-carbon copy-like remakes the different industries churn out are a commendable effort. Why change a winning formula? I certainly didn't want the Tamil remake of 3 Idiots to alter the plot, because the plot and writing was so good as it was. Of course, you run the risk of replicating the problems, too, as I feel like happened with these two remakes - I've read reviews where people complained the original had a slow beginning as well. But maybe rather that than trying to fix issues and failing to do so, just do the best job you can, replicating the original - it seems that's what both the Hindi and Tamil remakes did here.

An atheist befriends God - OMG Oh My God.

It's good to see a remake be upfront about its origins: OMG Oh My God, a comedy that's a lot cleverer than its goofy name, is based on a Gujarati play, that in return is based on an Australian movie, and this is all told in the opening credits. I've not seen neither the original movie, or the play, but I was pleasantly surprised by this film - for all the goofiness of the premise, the film ends up in a pretty thoughtful, thought-provoking place.

Paresh Rawal does an excellent job portraying the staunch atheist Kanji Lalji Mehta, who sees the superstitions of the religious as a way to make more money off the idols and other religious items he sells. When an insurance company refuses to pay him as his shop was ruined by "an act of God" (natural disaster), he goes to the extreme of suing "God" - or in this case, all the religious organizations that claim to represent God. 

The idea of a man suing God was ripe for a remake in a country as religiously diverse as India, especially as religious skepticism doesn't seem to yet be completely accepted in the mainstream. (India's leading skeptic, Sanal Edamaruku, is currently in Europe due to exposing a miracle as anything but.) As a completely non-religious person who's grown up in a secularized country with Lutheran Christian cultural roots, I have my own biases going into this film, naturally. I am not one that would be offended of whoever might be offended by this movie, and indeed, it's not a film that sets out to offend, as much as to teach. 

Kanji Lalji Mehta quickly makes a friend "with many names" (played by Akshay Kumar), obviously a human form of the god Krishna. When the film so openly states the belief that there is, in fact, a God - or multiple gods and goddesses, Krishna implies in one piece of dialogue - I'm kind of stunned that religious individuals would take offence. On the other, this is precisely the kind of behaviour religious organisations engage in that the film rails against: the corruption, the greed and the self-interest that have nothing to do with the teachings of any religion. 

It's not an entirely original message, but it's one that certainly needs to be put out there more often. It's in the Munnabhai camp of comedies; warms the heart but doesn't necessarily make you roar with laughter, and with plenty of philosophy sprinkled on top. It's no wonder audiences took to it so much.

As for myself, I wasn't perhaps as in love with it, because I was already converted, but I certainly enjoyed watching. Hopefully it begins a dialogue about religion as personal faith as opposed to a way for organisations to gain power and wealth, and about shedding those superstitions that might end up being more harmful in the long run.

And now if you'll excuse me, I've got an Akshay Kumar shrine to build...

30 Days of Film: Days 11, 12 & 13.

11. A movie that changed your opinion about something

I think there are three ways in which my liking of an actor can go. The first one is that I like them right off the bat, which usually happens with favourites - the first impression is so good they've made a fan out of me. The second one is that I give stars another bite at that apple, I keep watching them in films, hoping something will click and I'll begin to really enjoy their work. The third option is that the first impression is so negative I'm unlikely to give them another fair chance, unless by complete accident.

With Akshay Kumar, it was the second option. I never disliked the guy, I just never got what made him so popular - he seemed to do shlocky films and contribute mediocre performances to them. Then I watched Hera Pheri, the popular 2000 comedy that's not amazing, but is on the right side of silly, and can be incredibly funny. And I suddenly understood Akshay. His coming timing was great here, and his looks suddenly became appealing, and from thereon I understood his acting appeal and charm. From Hera Pheri onwards I was also more willing to watch films with him.

12. A movie that you hate

Hate is such a strong word, but okay. There are films that bug me because the plots have really questionable morals praised as the height of morality, or stupid people being stupid, or self-congratulatory directors doing pretentious crap and then saying whoever dislikes it just doesn't get it. There are a ton of annoying films like that, and briefly I considered saying Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna, because it combines a bit of all of the aforementioned characteristics, but to be honest, I don't hate KANK that much, and it probably doesn't deserve half the vitriol it gets.

Then there are films that are just colossal waste of an opportunity, and then there are really, really bad films. Tu Chor Main Sipahi is both at once. It's a painfully terrible film that could have been redeemed by the chemistry between its two leads (Saif Ali Khan & Akshay Kumar) but it chooses to have them act out the most painful dialogues, play the most insipid characters. Did I mention the film has Tabu in it? What a waste. It's also boring, so doesn't even tickle that "so bad it's good" bone. 

It's almost just sad, really.

13. A movie that is a guilty pleasure

I tend to be pretty open and unashamed of what I like. I mean, when one of my legitimate favourites is Main Khiladi Tu Anari, I can hardly call other favourites, no matter how crappy, a guilty pleasure. Besides, there are as many tastes as there are people - a uniformly condemned movie still has its passionate fans, and a loved film its share of haters.

But perhaps what makes Namastey London a guilty pleasure is not that it's not good, just that it's not as good as it probably should be to be such a favourite. I never expected this spry little romcom to be such an infinitely rewatchable film as it turned out to be. For one, I still don't think this is Katrina Kaif's best performance, even though her chemistry with Akshay is very good here. Secondly, I think logically I should have tons of tiny feminist niggles about the plot, yet somehow I don't. Third, the film has the sheer void of talent that is Upen Patel, and the soundtrack is horrific Himesh Reshmiyya and his nasal vocals. And all that before I've even mentioned the annoying "white people are all horrible evil racists" scenes.. And yet, I still really like this film, and I've rewatched it a ton of times and it never fails to cheer me up.

Go figure.

International Khiladi - what did I just watch?

Listen up, kids. This is not so much a review as it is a write up. Hence there will be SPOILERS. But ask yourself - do you really care enough not to get spoiled for International Khiladi? This film has been out for ages. It's a soddin' Khiladi film. Getting spoiled for it will mean one of two things: 1) you'll realise what a bullet you dodged not watching it or, 2) you'll realise it's so outrageously peculiar you've got to witness it with your own eyes. Either way, getting spoiled for it is win-win.

Now that we've got that clear, welcome to ...this whole thing. It's not really a review. It's a bit like therapy? For full effect, please listen to the theme song while reading!

At first we get a scene from the conference of the biggest criminals in each country, and some cops talking about blowing it up. Do they ever? Of course not. The criminals are selecting a boss. Democratically, via vote. You know, as you do, when you're members of the underworld. You're all about democratically elected representation. Who gets picked? Who d'you think?

Meet Devraaj, our International (get it?? because they made him boss of crime world over!) Khiladi!

Then there's a cop who discovers a dead body in Devraaj's place and they also find Payal, the sister of the dead person, played by Twinkle Khanna, who in court accuses Devraaj of rape, but says they were also in love. At this point you're thinking, "Wait, it's that kind of movie? Well, he is a bad guy, but goddammit, really?"

The backstory tells us that Amit (played by Rajat Bedi, ie THAT GUY WHO REALLY LOOKS LIKE SHAHRUKH KHAN), the cop we saw earlier, is friends with the dead guy (pictured here, not yet dead). And he's really in love with Payal. Payal dances, he watches with that ridiculous almost-Shahrukh face of his.

Then we enter a god-awful "comedy segment" where Payal and her colleague Focus (YES REALLY, oh wait he's played by Johnny Lever so surely that makes sense? not really) want to interview Devraaj. Comedy hijinks! You know, if this wasn't the WORST criminal on the planet, who could easily get you killed.

Still! Comedy hijinks! (Just kill me.)

Oh yeah, Gulshan Grover plays Thukkral, who is the criminal boss of Pakistan and has got bit of a beef with Devraaj. Colour us all surprised. He speaks in the most ridiculous English/Hindi mix, and I mean ridiculous. He says "I-ko" instead to "mujhko". He says things like "mere dil toh garden-garden hota hai". I just can't even.

And of course he's got some Western female bodyguards who wear golden bikinis and kick ass.

..and whose ass Akki is forced to kick. He doesn't want to. So they have a bit of a tumble in a padded pool.

(Yep, this film is quite weird.)

Payal stalks Devraaj some more for an interview as all ethical journalists are willing to do, even to the point of staying in the rain for three days without any food. Devotion!

So he finally gives in and comes out to chat to her, and of course ends up falling in love with her journalistic integrity. They never actually end up doing the interview, it's almost as if it doesn't matter. (There is a song, though. Of course there is!)

Then Amit goes and tells Payal about all the murders and crimes Devraaj has committed, putting quite a damper on this fledgling romance. Back off, Almost Shahrukh! We don't want you here!

Payal confronts Devraaj about this, so he is forced to bare his TERRIBLE BACKSTORY of woe and death and how basically he is the most noble, ethical person there is, and really the cops are the ones going around raping and murdering, under the protection of corrupt politicians. In a world like this, aren't the criminals really the good guys?

Of course they are!

So Payal believes him and they have a ridiculous song together!

Joy of joys! (Do you remember the rape part from the beginning of the film? No?)

Something happens I didn't pay attention for about 3 minutes and they're on a boat that explodes (?) but Devraaj saves Payal, hurray!

(I'm really sorry but I have to) .. so they dance!

Look at them go!

So happy and in love! (Remember the rape part?)

Well, it turns out Devraaj finds out that Payal's brother is an undercover cop infiltrating Devraaj's organisation, so he tortures the brother and then despite loving Payal, molests her in front of her brother and then kills him and then (the implication is) rapes her.

..yeah, good times.

And thus concludes Payal's testimony in court (oh, you didn't realise 80% of this movie is flashback? silly you!), and Devraaj gets sentenced to death and all's well ends well, right?

No.

Almost-Shahrukh really wants Payal to live in his creepy Payal-worship shrine (read: house) but Payal cannot stop thinking about the fact how they dragged her brother's dead body to Devraaj's house and then framed him for her rape.

...allow me to repeat that.

Amit (Almost-Shahrukh!) dragged her brother's body to her house and told her that Devraaj's men killed him, so they must make sure that Devraaj's gets the death penalty for this crime, and Payal was like, okay, what's the harm in a little framing the man I love for rape that never happened when my beloved brother is dead, probably killed by the man I love.

Except she cannot give her heart to Almost-Shahrukh because she still loves the man who killed her brother!

Woe!

So he gets a woeful song.

Yeah, whatever.

Devraaj escapes jail because even the police know now that he is the Good Guy and does a cool press conference, essentially saying he will find Amit and Payal and give a reward to whoever tells him where they are, and then somebody calls him, and says "They're in Toronto," so being the INTERNATIONAL khiladi that he is, Devraaj flies to Toronto.

But instead of killing Payal like he said he would, he just confronts her at a picturesque locale. And basically says that there's no way he could have killed her brother, because he loves her.

And also? He loves her.

Doesn't she get it? He loves her.

She does get it. Hurray! Happiness and flowers and faked rape!

.. so they dance!

Then we enter the climax of the film, which is ..quite something else. First Amit shows up, wanting to kill Devraaj. Payal protects him. Thukkral shows up to tell everybody that he killed Payal's brother! Shock of shocks!

Amit is heartbroken that Payal loves Devraaj but accepts this fate.

Oh wait, Devraaj has to fight Thukkral's gang of women in bikinis.

And some random martial arts guy who he then has to stab in the back.

And some random black guy in the forest.

You think this would be a fitting climax to an action film? You think fighting a bunch of random enemies would suffice?

No, no, and no.

Turns out Amit is NOT okay with Payal loving Devraaj and anyway, he's the one who killed her brother (we're told in flashback) and then just asked Thukkral to work with him and say he's the one who killed the brother in front of Payal and then he shoots Thukkral and wants to kill Devraaj and run off with Payal but this does not quite work out.

But he does get to kidnap Payal and put her on a cargo plane! (Are you still with me? Doesn't that whole rape thing feel like a millennia ago? I know, right?)

Luckily Devraaj grabs a pair of rollerskates (YES REALLY) and is off to save her! From a moving plane.

Yes.

Really.

His success is varied.

But somehow they still end up here.

.. so they dance!

Actually, they don't, I'm just kidding. But this climax is far, far, oh so far from being over.

So then they fight inside the plane.

And then Payal ends up falling out of the plane, with no parachute (though she is wearing a mysterious backpack but apparently did not plan to fall out of a plane, that silly girl!), and so Devraaj jumps after her, with parachute, and Amit heads to the cockpit to turn the plane around so he can kill them both WITH THE PLANE.

I don't even know.

These the faces of two people about to get hit by a plane.

Look at the International Khiladi.

NO FEAR.

No.

Fear.

It's like that song, "Getting hit with a plane toh darna kya", isn't it?

So they do actually get hit with the plane (well they crash against the nose and DON'T DIE) and end up on the wing, holding on for their dear lives.

Yes, really.

REALLY.

And then the plane crashes but they somehow survive and Amit gets killed and they get married I guess?

THE END.

I think it'll take me about a lifetime to digest this viewing experience.. I thought I was made of such strong stuff, and then. Fake rapes! ROLLERSKATES! Plane fights. Plane crashes to the face! Happy ending!

I just.

Yeah.

Mini-reviews, part eight.

[Previous mini-reviews here. In short, the idea is to write miniature film reviews out of a randomized list of what I had watched at a certain point in time. Nowadays the list would be about 30 films longer but I'll continue to do these until the list is finished..]

71. Meera (1979) - This Gulzar-directed gem was quite possibly the first or the second Vinod Khanna film I ever saw, about the life of Hindu saint Mirabai, and I fell in love with it. It's a bit slow in pace so might not be everybody's cup of chai, but I love it, for the haunting atmosphere, for Hema Malini's performance, and last but not least, Vinod.

72. Sethu (1999) - Vikram's first big break in films, a tale of obsessive love, later remade in Hindi as Tere Naam (which I've not seen). It's certainly a good film and a good performance by him, but doesn't really make it to my top favourites.

73. Tashan (2008) - It's complicated between me and Tashan. Some days I think it's a criminally underrated gem, other days I think it's a flawed but fun masala rollercoaster ride. Most often I think that regardless of its bad reputation and its a little too tryhard plot, people really ought to give it a chance. Akki is awesome in it, as is Bebo. The fact there's too little Sakshay in it kills me, but it's something I've learned to get over.

74. Bhool Bhulaiyaa (2007) - It probably pales in comparison to the Southie versions of the story but it's a decent Priyadarshan film anyway. A little masala, a little ghost story, excellent climax and somewhat memorable performances from Akshay and Vidya Balan.

75. Parineeta (2005) - This is one of those films I probably should have watched once and called it good. But then I rewatched it like three or four additional times and was considerably worn out. It's a good romantic role for Saif and an excellent debut by Vidya Balan, but it is still a flawed film and the flaws become more and more distracting the more I've watched it.

76. The Namesake (2006) - Tabu and Irffan together! Kal Penn being his awesome self! This film was so good when I initially saw it, pitch-perfect at every step, but the more time wore on, the less I liked it. It's a strange one, but as one of those films that people who normally don't watch Indian films see, it's worth seeing.

77. Keemat: They Are Back (1998) - An absolute Sakshay classic. I'm proud to say the cheesiest film poster on my walls is of this one, and it's an utter winner with the pleather worn by the guys and the random musical instruments shown off by the girls. The above DVD cover is no less of a winner. Keemat is .. well, it's probably an average funtime 90's cheesefest. But to me, it's something else. Namely, it's a Sakshay film where I also really like the heroines (Sonali and Raveena kick ass in this!). But you know..

78. Dillagi (1978) - It's a very sweet, low-key romantic comedy with Hema Malini and Dharmendra. I think it's most memorable for the fact Dharam plays a poetic Sanskrit teacher, and not a He-Man type of character. Never the less, I've never actually rewatched this one. Time might just golden memories..?

79. ...Yahaan (2005) - Filmed through a million blue-hue filters, this is quite a lovely film about Kashmir conflict, and the story of one soldier (Jimmy Shergill) and a local girl (Minissha Lamba in her debut role!). It's another one I really ought to rewatch... I own it so I guess I must've liked it but cannot for the life of me remember why.

80. Dhool (2003) - Absolutely stellar comedy/romance/action flick in Tamil; my first Tamil masala; my first Vikram film; one of my all-time favourites. I could watch the picturizations until cows come home. It's just so good and so much fun and Jothika is an awesome spunky sort of heroine here and Vikram just looks his best and yeah. Watch it. Watch it again.

Dhadkan - monitor your heartbeat and contact your doctor.

I am not sure who told me or where I read that Dhadkan was quite a lovely romantic movie. It's not. It's the kind of clichéd, semi-tired (although in an amusing way) melodramatic film that we don't really see much of nowadays because I think after the early 00's most of Hindi film industry decided that after the likes of Lagaan and whatnot, they could probably do better than this. And they did! Well, some of them did.

To be fair to whoever planted the idea in my head that Dhadkan might be worth my time, it's not totally without merit. Melodrama, even less-than-average quality melodrama, is after all pretty entertaining. The tropes are all here - poor and rich, evil in-laws, crying maa.. But perhaps because of the tropes, the film ends up being pretty forgettable.

It's a story of Anjali (Shilpa Shetty), a daughter of a rich man, who makes the devastating mistake of falling in love with a poor man named Dev (Suniel Shetty). Actually, no, her only mistake is falling in love with an incredibly creepy man, nevermind the fact he's poor.

It's hard to pin down what makes Dev such a creepy, strange guy. He's a typical crazy-in-love Bollywood hero, extremely devoted to his love, nothing can break it, he'll die without the love of his life and all this nonsense but what really makes him strange and unbalanced is his over-the-top reactions to everything. Suniel barely has time to act from all the shouting he does.

Look, nobody's ever said Bollywood heroes can't be emotional - by all means they should be. But not emotionally unstable or completely unhinged, like Dev comes off as.

So needless to say, this love match doesn't quite work out as when Dev goes to Anjali's house to ask for her hand, he ends up shouting at her father and obsessing about his sandals (to paraphrase the dialogue, "YES MY SHOES HAVE HOLES, I AM POOR BUT I WILL MARRY YOUR DAUGHTER ANYWAY BECAUSE I LOVE HER NOW AND FOREVER."). Anjali is brokenhearted but tells Dev she will marry who her father asks her to. Dev shouts at her that this is not the last she'll see of him. Oh, goody.

So Anjali is forced to marry the rich, handsome and courteous Ram (Akshay Kumar). What a terrible fate! To marry this ...perfect stranger who doesn't shout at her! Ugh!

Naturally she angsts a bit. But it doesn't take long for her to find him quite a lovely man to be forcefully married to - he's nice, respectful, devoted, hard-working, insert every possible positive adjective you could think of, because that's how good Ram is. Forget seeing the softer side of Khiladi, this man is practically marshmallow.

And of course, he is much better when in comparison to his awful family who hate their new daughter-in-law and even hate Ram. But he knows they hate him! But he loves them anyway! (Yes, it's that kind of a film.)


But sometime after Anjali and Ram's marriage has gone from forced to blissful, guess who's back? Dunh dunh dunnnnn!

Thankfully the film seems to recognize that Dev is hopelessly unhinged and does not portray him as Anjali's perfect man. He's just there to set the final melodrama into motion and boy, does he ever.

So that's kind of Dhadkan for you, right there. Lots of melodramatic twists, okay songs that look more 90's and 00's, a truckload of make up on Shilpa's face, and tons of Akshay looking dreamy. If you think you might be into that, well, I can't recommend this film but I can certainly let you know it exists.