Mini reviews: playing catch up.

Bajrangi Bhaijaan - When you haven't been watching any Hindi films for months and months on end, it feels rather lovely to be swept up in the melodrama again, and this Salman Khan starrer certainly fit the bill, what with Pakistan-India unity themes and the missing mute child of it all. I can't say I hated it, but towards the end it was just a tiny bit too much. Loved seeing Nawazuddin Siddiqui pick up that mainstream paycheck, even if I wasn't huge on his role in this.

Oh, and Kareena Kapoor Khan was in this film, too, a fact I barely remembered until just now. I don't want to say she should pick better films, since maybe none are coming her way any more (lamentable fact of life for married actresses) but I do miss her putting in better work than this.

Dil Dhadakne Do - Speaking of Kareena, would have loved to see the original cast for this, which was Ranbir-Kareena as the siblings who were eventually played by Priyanka Chopra and Ranveer Singh, and Madhuri as the mother (a role that went to Shefali Shetty, who is great here). Still, had that happened, what would have ended up on the screen probably would have been the same, middle-of-the-road family drama with some emotional moments, comedy and dance numbers. I really enjoyed this one, but with the caveat that from the intermission I knew it would be a hopelessly forgettable film. The characters are just a little too bland and stereotypical, the drama predictable and even the twists rather unexciting. It's pretty and it's fun, and then you never think about it again as the credits roll. Indeed, my biggest take aways from the film were the following three things:

1. It is exciting to see Priyanka Chopra still in this familiar environment now that she's set to lead a major US network drama series. I've never been a huge fan, but I've also been the first to admit her talent. 7 Khoon Maaf is still her finest work, but if her mainstream US success leads to more people discovering that Bhardwaj gem, I am all for it. 
2. Farhan Akhtar looks really good in a t-shirt. 
3. ...but Farhan Akhtar annoyingly wrote the character he himself played the Righteous Male Feminist dialogue. Okay, buddy. Okay.

Any Body Can Dance 2 - This one blew my hair back. Is this a movie? Is this just things happening on celluloid in a somewhat sequential manner? Was ABCD the first this bad and I just didn't notice, too swept up in the glorious dance sequences? ABCD2 sure feels like a non-movie, with things happening to characters one barely knows, with every frequent conflict solved two lines of dialogue later by multiple deux ex machina, with cardboard cut-outs having emotions like stickers attached and removed easily for plot convenience. The dance sequences are okay, but with absolutely no emotional connection to anything else that is happening, they feel strangely hollow. I enjoyed seeing the familiar faces from the first film, including Lauren Gottlieb, but holy moly. Don't suffer through this one like I did, even for shirtless Varun Dhawan and some okay naach-gaana.

Badlapur - Am I going to hate Badlapur, I asked my Twitter timeline multiple times, seeing the review summaries pop up here and there, and for the most part people either let their silence on the matter speak for itself, or just told me a flat-out "most likely". But what with director favourite Sriram Raghavan (yes, I know Agent Vinod happened, but I blame that one on Saif), established favourite Nawazuddin and emerging favourite Varun Dhawan, how was I to ignore this film? It was the bane of my existence until I would finally see it. So I did. 

In another mood, another time, this might have become one of my flawed favourites, one that I could re-watch and re-examine for themes and nuances in performances, but at this time, during the mood I was in, I checked out about 40 minutes into the film and never quite checked back in.The tale of revenge turning one man (Dhawan) into a monster as the culprit (Siddiqui) withers in jail is certainly an intriguing one, especially held up against the empowerment through revenge narrative that was Raghavan's first film Ek Hasina Thi (11 years old this year, wow). And yet, when it was all said and done, I wondered if I should have just rewatched his debut.

Raghavan remains a capable director, allowing his leads to shine and for audiences to gain new appreciation for their range, but the "women problem" remains. Huma Qureshi, Yami Gautam, Divya Dutta and Radhika Apte all feature and do great with what little they're given, but the way the other characters or the camera and narrative choices treat them doesn't sit right with me. Sexual coercion can be played up in a way that empathises with the victim and recognises the perpetrator as vile, but instead such scenes are merely used for titillation for the camera and as a demonstration of the male lead's sickening power over his victims. It is disturbing to me when the narrative doesn't condemn a morally ambiguous character's misogyny but instead throws it up on the screen unquestioningly as a fact of life. It's all about choices in portrayal, and Raghavan seems to make the least considered ones each and every time. 

Some years back I talked about how Kucche Dhaage, a 70's drama thriller, deconstructed the revenge tale so often found in Indian films. It portrays the horrible things people do for revenge, and also how this desire to avenge wrecks the people involved psychologically. In some ways, it lets these human monsters off the hook a little too much, giving them a redemption arc on the second half, whilst also showing that since they've devoted themselves to the violence of revenge, they can't ever lead normal lives after it. Badlapur, in many ways, is an even more brutal, and unrelenting deconstruction of revenge narratives, but as Indian films often are, it's still too concerned with its murky lead, not his victims.

As much as I hated this film, I'm not ready to give up on Raghavan yet, such is my deep affection for his first two films. But would I recommend this one? No chance in hell.

A treatise on masala, and Kick.

Masala films are like being sucked into a dream taking place in somebody else's head. To say they contain no logic is misinterpreting their own, magical logic, one that relies less on representing things as grounded and flawed, and more on representing them as perfect, idealised to the point of absurdity. Character types instead of characters, formula instead of story.

Devi (Salman Khan) in Kick is a masala hero, working solely as an avatar for dialogue, an empty cup the fantastical mind of the filmi imagination to pour some character traits into, while the audience forgets the character even has a name. He inspires awe from entrance to the closing shot. "Are wah!" we are to exclaim at his herogiri - the dancing, the fighting, the punchy dialogues, the comedy and the romance. A hero is never wrong. It is the flaw of the heroine to think ill of him, even as well-intentioned as her worries are. It is the flaw of the pseudo-antagonist, the Other Guy, or second male lead, to mistake the hero for his villainous actions as actually a bad guy. The Heroine and the Other Guy will eventually understand their mistakes. The Hero stays unquestioned.

Entertainment is the measure: the mirth I felt when that first overly clever, painfully over-thought and constructed piece of dialogue was spoken. It is a meter shooting up and down as the film progresses. The rating goes from fun to none, but the pace is so quick it's hard to concentrate on one irksome miscoming when the film is serving up ten different things in the next scene. The ride is great, but certain masala measures are questionable, such as the romance. Devi elbows his way into our disgruntled heroine's life without much care about how she feels about it all. Jacqueline Fernandes is quite good at disgruntled, confused and possibly a third expression I can't quite place. Happy, maybe? Is she, does the movie give her any reason to be? She just is. Women, eh?

Randeep Hooda (ah, the bias) as the Other Guy musters up enough life to the screen when the heroine seems too lost to be present or when the hero seems too tired to try too hard. His eyes light up with laughter or turn a steely stern gaze, and he's always the bridesmaid never the bride, and yet he seems to have better chemistry with the hero than the heroine. Women, eh? Why write them with personalities when you can just put all that effort into the second male lead, you know?

As a dessert to this hearty meal, we get the actual villain, Nawazuddin Siddiqui's glorious entrance into the hallowed halls of big budget. Given typical masala hay of semi-sadistic horrid rich guy, he spins gold out of it like a veritable Rumpelstiltzkin, and the results are captivating. This is concentrated, unadulterated villainy - potent, slightly nonsensical and all the better for it. I will probably rewatch the whole film just for these scenes. And the songs, and Randeep Hooda, and the dialogues, and pretty much everything. For all the easily detectable snark in this here review, I really did enjoy this.

Modern masala has many an ailment. It's too calculated and superficial to be anything but fun, cool and sexy. Most often it's an attempt at all three, since the concept of 'cool' dies anew with every Race film. It doesn't move to tears, it doesn't reach the great masses, it's just there. But while it's here, why not enjoy it, and remember it, like one remembers a great night that resulted in a hangover. And if you can't stomach it, go watch some other Nawazuddin Siddiqui films. Everybody wins.

Ek Tha Tiger and the inescapable comparison.

It was inevitable that I would dig up my Agent Vinod review to write this one: the two films invite comparison, even though their successes and failures are entirely their own, and their genres differ as well. Still, two recent films starring real-life couples about Indian agents who fall in love with women from the other side and traipse the world as the plot progresses - so which film comes out on top?

In Agent Vinod, Vinod has a real case on his hands, so the love story takes a backseat. In Ek Tha Tiger, the love story frames the entire film, and somehow magically benefits it. There's still action, but the action only takes place within that love story, and is made more awesome for it.

It's the weirdest thing. Agent Vinod did, in some ways, attempt to reach the stars; the scale was ambitious, but certain things about the handling of the plot, the dull acting and the lack of that little something extra ultimately made it a disappointing watch despite its grand technical merits. Kabir Khan chooses a tell a fairly simplistic story, but does so well, and whatever other things he gets in the plus column (well-directed action, handsome cinematography, fun songs) only add to the film's uncomplicated fun.

I've only seen Katrina and Salman act against each other in the atrocious and objectionable Maine Pyaar Kyun Kiya (where the comedy revolves entirely around cheating!), so it's quite easy for them to portray a better chemistry here, seeing as how she's grown as an actress. Still, not quite enough for my taste. The thing about Salman's recent renaissance batch of films (Dabangg, Wanted etc) is that they use utilize his limited emoting skills and his unlimited Being Salman skills perfectly. Ek Tha Tiger demands some emoting, and against as limited an actress as Katrina, the chemistry just isn't as off-the-charts as one would wish for a film that focuses so much on the love story between their two characters.  It's okay - it's just not amazing.

Even so, for a cute love story wrapped in a well-executed action film mold, I'd rewatch Ek Tha Tiger without a doubt. It's filmi flare is eventually what saves it, it's just a shame that the best chemistry exemplified by the leads can be found in the song that's not bound in the narrative itself: Mashallah. 

A solid list of solidly okay films: Paiyaa, Bodyguard.

Paiyaa (2010) is your standard Tamil action entertainer with a bit of a twist: the story begins with Shiva (Karthi ie Surya's brother) pretending to be a driver to the girl of his dreams (Tamanna). Pretty soon it turns out she's in in a spot of trouble, and he offers to drive her wherever she needs to go. During the road trip, they learn things about one another, fall in love, and she discovers that - surprise surprise! - he's also got some goons coming after her.

It's a fun little film, but it's nothing amazing. I like Tamanna, and didn't dislike Karthi (this film introduced me to him) and the songs were quite sweet, but after the recommendation by the DVD store clerk, I think I expected something a bit more than an okay film. Regardless, it's a fine effort and probably one I'd have liked more, had my expectations been more reasonable. I think the interesting premise made me want the film to be better than it was, or maybe it was just that this one didn't quite click with me the right way.


The expression "made more money than God" always struck me as peculiar, as surely God's not that big into human capitalist pursuits? Isn't the whole point of religion to rise above materialist desires? Regardless of these logical flaws it's safe to say that Bodyguard made more money than God (if God was to make money .. yeah, I'll just drop this here). I watched it last December and of course completely forgot to review it.

True to Salman's new renaissance as the Southie hero who just happens to be making films in Hindi, this one is actually a remake of a 2010 Malayalam film of the same name. The plot is fairly simple - Lovely B. Singh (Salman) gets hired as bodyguard to protect Divya (Kareena Kapoor). Divya is annoyed by Lovely constantly tailing her, so she starts calling him to distract him from his duties, and pretends to be a girl called Chhaya. Through this little riff, the two fall in love - the film is essentially a romantic comedy wrapped in an action film shell, because there's no way Salman can *not* release a can of whoopass on some bad guys in his films these days.

But what really makes the film worth watching are the last twenty-thirty minutes or so..

I think it's curious that Bodyguard became such an unbelievably huge hit in all accounts. It's a solid film, no doubt, but to me it's not really as good as other similar recent Salman films, like Dabangg or Wanted, both of which I loved, and have rewatched many times. Maybe it's more that the success of the aforementioned films (alongside stuff like Ready which I wasn't a fan of) lead to this super-heightened moment of absolute Salman paagalpan across India. Regardless, it's certainly good enough for one viewing occasion - if only to try and see what made it such an absolute phenomenon.

30 Days of Film: Days 21, 22.

21. Favorite action movie

Yeah, Salman looks tired and those less bulky Southie youngsters can dance him under the table. Even so, I think as a remake, Wanted just works superbly well with balancing intrigue, action, romance and all the rest of it, and it's one of those absolute gems that never fail to entertain me, no matter how many times I find myself rewatching the film.

It has a charm and the great cast (Ayesha Takia is so good in this and enough can't be said about Prakash Raaj's Prakash Bad role!) under Prabhudeva's competent direction just heightens the whole thing.

22. Favorite movie from your least favorite actor

(Originally "favorite documentary" - feel free to change if you like.)

Try as I might, I don't like Priyanka Chopra. My dislike for her has never had anything to do with the rumours I hear about here these days - it's more a lukewarm feeling about performances that moved into active dislike when I saw how she was in a lot of films, and supposedly very appreciated for her acting and I just didn't see it at all. If anything, I found her grating on-screen. I thought Fashion was an okay-made film that sent a bunch of horrible messages, and all of her other performances ranged from inoffensive to just model-acting. She wasn't painful to watch or anything, but she was just so overrated I began to get annoyed.  At least Kareena had to put in some really solid, good performances to truly become A-list.

But I can honestly say I love her character and performance in Kaminey. If anything, this was the National Award-worthy performance, not Fashion; well-written role about a young woman who made her own choices and stuck by them, hell or high water, and who seemed like a very grounded, real character the whole time.

Bollywood free association.

[This is the post you write when you really don't know what else to write about - essentially, one of those exercises they always make you do in writing classes, just writing whatever comes to mind on that moment, clearing your head. ]

I really want to see Agent Vinod, not just because I've been waiting for it for a small eternity but because, well, I feel like I want to believe in a film again, and also wow, remember when Saif used to be good? You might not, it's been like six years, six goddamn years! Unbelievable. And also, remember when Salman wasn't good? And now he's in pretty much everything and he's always pretty much pretty good, or you know, Salman good, which on the scale from one to Salman is pretty friggin' Salman.

I don't know, it just comes back to that old problem of having to keep my distance because my access to films is so limited. There's no use in getting swept up in the hype when forced to wait for a DVD release and I don't want to get all, "you don't know how lucky some of you are, kids" but hey you don't know how lucky some of you are, apart from those of you who aren't, and come to think of it, a lot of you might be worse off than me in terms of Indian film shortages so what am I even talking about it.

I was talking about Robot with a friend of mine who also saw it at the film festival I saw and we had the best time just recalling everything that happened and everything that happened that didn't make a lick of sense (which was most of it, to be honest) and I just kept wanting to show my friend some Shankar films that do actually make some sense because I guess I just want to make sure that she would understand why I don't think his films are as rubbish as Robot kind of was, in terms of characterisation and story, and don't you just hate it when people - whoever those people may be, fans or haters or whatevers - assume that's just how Indian films are, senseless and pointless? Like yes, some, of course, Hollywood has got Fast & Furious, too, and did you see Transformers 2 (I didn't) but still there's characterisation there and

Wow, I really should rewatch Lagaan. I always wonder what are other people's "I really need to rewatch that" films because I feel like I'm personally always just rewatching some and then letting others rot in my DVD shelf even though it'd do me good to re-evaluate how much I like them now, like Beth mentioned Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron and I was like "holy hell I saw that way back when I was a newbie and liked it but did I even get any of it? I got that it was a dark comedy and Naseeruddin Shah as a youngster" so anyway I guess my point was that I need to rewatch that.

And also I guess Naseer-saab wasn't that much of a youngster in JBDY but you know, I'm a young kid, I ride shotgun.

It's been such a long while since Bollywood stars have made guest appearances in my dreams and that's pretty sad in a way, like you always hope that you end up with dreams full of magic and wonder, but the other week I had a dream where I just made awesome to-do lists and worse yet, Vikram was not on that list and

..now I am really uncomfortable with that joke even as I made it because again, being such a youngster, I'm reminded, Vikram's older than my dad, so like

These things are best just not thought of at all. But I do genuinely want to see Agent Vinod, and I should hope it's a good film.

The curious concept of masala, and a bit of Dabangg.

Carla's Dabangg review, besides being worth reading, got me thinking.

Whereas she draws comparison between this type of masala and the good stuff of the yesteryears, my go-to comparison is the action masala's from some of the Southern industries (Tamil and Telugu). Not that I've seen a whole lot of them, but enough to draw a general picture of what kind of tropes the films are composed of.

I was going to comment something along the lines of "Well, to me, the Southie industries have been keeping this sort of masala format warm all these years, so it's nice to see Hindi films going with this tried-and-true formula again."

Then I catch myself. Is this awfully reductionist and even for a personal interpretation tenuous at best? Probably. I mean, first of all, Southie films have their own history with their own stars and their own cultural context, which Northern industries and especially the supposedly pan-Indian Hindi film industry seems rather ignorant of. Who knows where the Southie masala took inspiration from? Rajnikanth was making movies around the time Amitabh was carving a place for himself. It seems weird to speculate when one doesn't know the full history of genres in Tamil/Telugu films.

At the same time, the Southie influence is clear in my eyes. Very few 70's masalas had a high skill in choreographing the fight scenes, or interesting in terms of camera positioning. The best cinematographers in all of India have famously come from the South, and the fight choreographies seemed to learn a thing or two from Hong Kong. You can definitely see that modern flare in Dabangg, and the realism in the violence.

Then there's the hero, of course. No longer the charming NRI whose dil beats for Indian family values even though he wears Western labels, Salman Khan's Chulbul Pandey is basically a certified badass rustic cop, assuming they give out such badassery certifications, and if they see him, they had better start. As Carla points out, he's not exactly morally sound, but there's a certain ends-justifies-the-means attitude that makes sure we don't stop believing in him completely as a hero.

The story's been called lacklustre and incoherent in the few reviews I glanced at, but I think what is interesting about these sorts of action masalas is that they are complete crowd-pleasers, but the perception of the crowd has changed a bit. Nowadays there's no one mass (was there ever, truly?) but multiplex audiences, NRI audiences, segments of the "mass" that don't necessarily care for the kind of cinema Dabangg and other such masalas are all about. I started thinking about the action masala hero and how strange it is that Salman, not Akshay Kumar, became the new box office king with these sorts of ventures. You'd think Akshay would have the skills and the mass appeal - and he certainly does. He's not an actor with mind-blowing range, but that's usually not what the masalas are looking for, either. And yet, starting from Wanted and culminating in Dabangg, it was Salman who has his renaissance with these action masalas.

Salman is the Marmite Hero, or Marmite Khan if we want to get specific. Aamir and Shahrukh inspire reactions ranging from lukewarm to passionate, but Salman seems to split people into haters or lovers. I'm more inclined to agree with the latter camp. Of course, now that I've said that you can all reminisce my Let's Talk About post about him, in which I write: "-- I like Salman Khan. I don't love him, I certainly don't enjoy him unconditionally, but the fact remains I do like him."

Isn't like a lukewarm reaction? Not really, not to me. The fact remains, when Salman makes good movies, I really like him. When he makes bad movies - which is often - I can't stand them or watch them just for him. These recent films feature him in roles that suit him superbly, suit his acting, his style, his core fanbase. The flicks are crowd-pleasers, and the crowd gets what they came for, unlike the crappy favour-for-a-friend films he's been known to churn out, with half-baked plots and disappointing action. You can virtually imagine the movie theater exploding when the shirt comes off - and you know for sure it will.

Some of you that are South Indian and know the industries inside & out, or those firangis who jumped the Tamil/Telugu gravy train in a big way and know your Vijay's from your Karthi's and can cite Allu Arjun's family tree by heart, will protest purely because there are things the legitimate Southie heroes can certainly do that Salman can't. He's an old guy who's not famous for emotional range, so when you've got young Telugu lads dancing their hearts out in limber moves to rival Hrithik's, charming heroines and kicking ass left right center and just right there behind them, it can feel wrong that Salman took influence from these types of movies and is now breaking box office records. But of course, Fair is not a word in the Indian film vocabulary, otherwise new talent wouldn't find it so difficult to break into it while son-of-so-and-so gets a debut role no problem.

And as for Dabangg? Well, if you can't tell by this post, I enjoyed it. Not sure whether it jumps ahead of the perfect-in-every-way Wanted (I hear some of you Salman haters protesting but ah, there you have it, Marmite Khan on display!) but it certainly comes close.

NIF-a-palooza!, or: Stories of Rewatching.

Dearest dears, according to a philosophy which says that every ...so they dance! post is somebody's first, let me once again explain NIF. It quite simply means Non-Indian Film [fan/ enthusiast/ viewer/ follower] and was invented on the BollyWHAT? discussion forums when people needed a name for those friends of theirs who weren't too into the whole crazy Indian film business and in most cases didn't quite "get it", or were in the process of "getting it", ie. warming up to the films that fans of this type of cinema gobbled up like it was pie they could never have enough of. 

For the purpose of this blog, NIF mostly refers to friends I watch films with, who might've been a great number of films but aren't quite fanatic enough to buy them on their own or watch them on their own. That, or they're utter newbies, but curious enough to come over and let me pop one in the DVD player. 

This past autumn I've had a number of NIF film nights, so I thought I'd share some stories.

How Anthony Ended Up on a Skate-boarding Video

Some university friends were invited over and I presented them with many options; comedies, romantic films, straight-forward masalas - whatever they wanted, we could watch. They picked, surprisingly enough, the classic 1977 Desai-masala Amar Akbar Anthony. Well enough, though I warned them that films of this type were a little out there with the epicness of the storylines but also, well, pretty much everything. Still, this was no Dharam-Veer so I figured we were on safe grounds.

The film went down well, with all its twists and turns and action. It's no short wonder the film's such a classic. The only thing I regret is that my DVD has no subtitled songs, so I was forced to try and remember what each song was about - when nobody understands the lyrics, they miss the context of the song, which can be absolutely essential in these older films. So that was rather a shame. Of course, there is that one English song - My Name Is Anthony Gonsalves - which is utterly delightful.

At some point, a bit of which I couldn't find a screencap, Anthony shows the inside of his tux jacket to reveal the number 420. This caused amusement in one viewer who quipped, "Oh, I have to get a screencap of that!". Now this was for the reasons obvious to anybody who doesn't automatically associate the number with the Indian penal code for 'fraud'.. I did explain this to my friend, but he was still captured by this tiny little bit. 

Later, he borrowed the DVD to screencap it himself and told me it was for a skate-boarding video he and his friends were working on. So, congrats, Amitabh Bachchan.. While I'm sure the video is not in wide circulation, that's got to count towards ...something. 

How Rain Didn't Stop 4 Idiots

Organizing stuff can be a pain in the neck, so after I sent an invitation to another Bollytastic film night to a bunch of my uni friends, I had lots of preparations to make. Snacks to buy from the store, room to clean up completely, re-arrange the room for optimal film-viewing, haul all kinds of useless stuff out of the room and back into the cupboard, etc etc. So after I'd done all this, I could just back and wait for the people to arrive. Sadly, only four of them made it, in a car, and the rest gave up on the way, as the drizzle had turned into heavy rain as they began making their way over to my place.

Resigned, the small group of us settled in to watch something, and what my friends picked was 3 Idiots.  I felt like a bloody waiter at a restaurant, wanting to congratulate them for an excellent choice. Because, really. 3 Idiots is just a film that works on so many levels, I have absolutely no reservations about showing it to anybody who likes films. Of course, it has got its caveats, its tiny flaws - but they don't diminish the viewing experience. It's just great. The audience reaction was extremely positive. I just would've hoped more people had been able to show up. Better luck next time, I suppose. All izz well.. 

And I am especially happy that I own the PAL-DVD because it looks smashing, much better than a lot of the other DVD's I've got. 

Letting Salman Khan Into Your Heart, in 3 Easy Steps

1) Watch Wanted. 

2) Repeat step 1.

3) Repeat step 1 until you reach the expected result.

My friend Mog has a really bizarre taste in men. Or rather, fictional men, actor crushes, that sort of thing. She hasn't really been into any Indian actors, at least not in the "ooh, him! I want to see more with him!" type of sense.  It's been confusing to me, showing her all these films I really love with actors I really like and she just shrugs. 

Now, I sold Wanted to her, Babz and another friend of theirs (who has witnessed the most unfortunate Indian films so far, but that's another story) as a fun action film. While I think I was the one who enjoyed the film the most - I love it to bits, I realize more and more with each rewatch, Wanted is just amazing, and utterly a favourite by now - it worked its ballistic magic on them, as well. And Mog? She kind of loved Salman. To the point that when I left she was busy looking up "Love Me" on youtube. 

I understand the Salman love, don't get me wrong. Even older Salman has his moments, and Wanted is definitely one of them. But on the other hand ...really? You fall for this Sallu, not the fresh-faced MPK Sallu or the goofball 90's Sallu, who's still got a fresh face and eyes that look like he's slept well last night, or any of the nights last week? Well. Mog has always been something else. And if she loves Wanted, who am I to say no?

No Sleep for the Wicked, No Love for the Sakshay

Speaking of Mog, I entirely blame her apathy towards the 90's Saif-Akshay gem Main Khiladi Tu Anari for why this was my lamest reviewing of the film so far. MKTA is magical, but it requires the right sort of mood - the mood of being able to appreciate and adore cinema that isn't too good in the traditional sense but excellent entertainment if you're able to get into its cheesy charms. Mog wasn't in the mood, but Babz was, so we watched MKTA, but to no great success, as the slower parts, our commentary drifted to other topics and we basically talked until I was like "Oh this bit is great, focus!". 

Sigh. Sometimes film viewing goes like that - somebody takes an attitude towards a film and so it doesn't work for them, and that brings the mood down in the whole room. It breaks your heart when it's a favourite that a friend dislikes severely. But sometimes, that's just the way things work out. Sadly.

There were a couple of other films I rewatched with friends recently as well, but I'll end this post here for now so it doesn't get too long and dull. 'Til next time!

Let's talk about ...Salman Khan!

[Earlier editions of Let's Talk About here.]

I meant to do a selective rewatch of Wanted this one evening, but enjoyed the movie so much I ended up watching it the whole way through. I'd be hard-pressed to name more than three Salman Khan films as good as this one, which is why I really truly cherish this film, despite the fact that the Southie film fan inside me feels betrayed.

And the next morning I found myself watching Maine Pyaar Kyun Kiya (2005) and was going to write this totally tortured metaphor about Salman's filmography based on these two films and one of the worst films I've ever seen, Marigold (2007) but decided to scrap that in favor of this more general post about the man.

The thing I found out quite early on in my Hindi film obsession is that Salman Khan really splits people. Unlike the other Khans, who have their haters, their lovers, and their more casual fans, it seemed like whether you liked or disliked Salman was a touchy topic for some. The lovers are more vehement, but even more so are the haters.

Eventually I found myself positioned more in the "like" column than the "dislike" one when it came to Salman. I liked him a lot in roles he seemed to excel - Andaz Apna Apna, Hum Aapke Hai Kaun, Salaam-e-Ishq, Maine Pyaar Kiya - but wasn't particularly interested to see the mediocre or the bad films of his career. I read his interviews and found him to be really entertaining, down-to-earth and his world views generally simple but honest.

In a nutshell - I grew fond of him. And I became very forgiving and understanding, but not in a super-fanatic manner. It's just that I began to sort of place him in a category of his own.

Like I always say, Salman is as Salman does and what Salman does is not traditionally classified as acting. But strangely enough, that's one of the appealling things about him. I wouldn't say Salman defies definition -- it's more like, he doesn't benefit from definitions.

But so there I was, watching Maine Pyaar Kyun Kiya, a film from that poor David Dhawan "ha ha fake cheating is the funniest thing ever" school of comedy, and it's got a constantly hysteric Katrina Kaif, a mildly amusing Sohail Khan, and the too-good-for-this-movie Sushmita Sen (seriously, she was the best thing about this movie). And I suppose I could ask myself why I'm watching this movie, as I know it's not exactly favourite material.

In my heart of hearts, I know why, though.

Because I like Salman Khan. I don't love him, I certainly don't enjoy him unconditionally, but the fact remains I do like him.

As much as I sometimes find myself defending that fact, to myself, or to the haters, it's true.

Even if it's a little guilty pleasure, even if I recognize all the flaws others see in him (like the fact he looks eternally tired nowadays, he's involved in more scandals than the Catholic Church, he sometimes only employes one dance move..), the fact simply remains that I like him and I really, really love him in Wanted, which just might be his best movie last decade (no, seriously).

And as far as previous decades go, I've got one word for you: Prem. That about sums it up, no?

Kyyhkyläiset - the lovebirds. Maine Pyaar Kiya.

Voi väärin perustein tuomittu kahdeksankymmentäluku. Olihan sinullakin hetkesi. Kun ensimmäisen kerran kahlasin tämän klassisen melodramaattisen sokerihötön läpi, oli keskiyö ja viittä vaille syntymäpäiväni. Muistaakseni imeskelin piparminttukarkkeja ja kylvin Maine Pyaar Kiya:n (1989, suomeksi "Rakastuin..") juhlaisassa kasarimeiningissä aamukolmeen asti. Joskus hyviin synttäribileisiin tarvitaan vain itse sankari ja paidaton Salman Khan. [Oh the 80's, so mistakenly judged. You too had your moments. When I first waded through this classic, melodramatic sugarfluff, it was midnight and some minutes before my birthday. If I recall correctly, I was sucking on peppermint candy and bathing in the festive 80's happenings of Maine Pyaar Kiya (1989, trans: I fell in love..). Sometimes in order to have a great birthday bash all you need is the celebrant themself and a shirtless Salman Khan.]

Elokuva alkaa epäluontevasti suomennettavalla lauseella, "Jokainen rakastuu johonkuhun ... jotenkin ..." mutta on mietteen epämääräisyydestä huolimatta myönnettävä, että näinhän se on. Porukka rakastuu. Suman (Bhagyashree elämänsä roolissa, koska raukka ei oikein muuta tullut tehneeksi valkokankaalla) pääsee viettämään aikaa köyhän isänsä ystävän luona, ja eikös ystävysty itsekin perheen pojan Premin (nuori Salman Khan!) kanssa. Prem on tietty kaikkien yleisten sääntöjen mukaan siisti, moderni jätkä, ja Suman hieman perinteisemmin kasvatettu tyttö. Ken arvaa mitä tapahtuu seuraavaksi? [The film begins with a sentence very awkwardly translated into Finnish, but despite its vagueness, it's a true enough statement. People fall in love. Suman (Bhagyashree in the role of her life, since the poor thing didn't really get up to much more on the silver screen) gets to spend time with the friend of her poor father, and happens to befriend Prem (young Salman Khan!), the son of the family herself. Prem is of course, according to all conventions, a cool, modern dude, and Suman a little more traditionally raised girl. Who can guess what happens next?]

Ystävyydessä ei legendaarisen lausuman mukaan ole anteeksipyytelyä tai kiittelyä. Näin filosofisista pohdinnoista päästään tietty raiskaajapahiksen (Mohnish Behl) julmaan yleistykseen, etteivät tytöt ja pojat voi ikinä olla vain ystäviä keskenään, vaan jotain makuuhuonemenoa on pakko olla (ja miksi ketään kiinnostaa tän äijän näkemykset maailman asioista? se ampuu kyyhkysiä huvikseen ja raiskaa muijia bileissä! oikeesti, hei!). Premia ja Sumania nolottaa lievästi, koska eroottisin asia mitä he ovat tähän mennessä puuhailleet on jonkun voiteen levittäminen kipeälle nilkalle. Niinpä Prem päättää lähteä pois (tai jotain) ja Suman joutuu halailemaan kyyhkystä noin kuuden minuutin laulun verran. [In friendship, according to the legendary saying, there is no saying sorry or thank you. From these philosophical musings we come to the cruel generalization of the baddie-rapist (Mohnish Behl), that girls and boys can never be friends with one another, there's always something in the bedroom department (and why does anybody care what this guy thinks about matters of the world? he shoots pidgeons for fun and rapes girls at parties! really, now!). Prem and Suman are pretty embarrassed, because the most erotic thing they've done so far is spreading some cream on a hurt ankle. So Prem decides to go away (or something) and Suman has to embrace a pidgeon for one six minute long song.]

No ei nyt sentään. Kyyhkyskaveri tietty lähtee pois, vie kirjeen ja rakastetut löytävät hetkellisen onnen (2-3 laulun ajaksi), kunnes pahikset syyttävät Sumania onnenonkijaksi ja hänen on palattava isänsä luo. Isä tuntee itsensä häväistyksi (jaahas), Prem ilmestyy paikalle todistelemaan rakkauttaan, ja jo tunnin kuluttua elokuva loppuukin mukavasti. [Well, not really. Pidgeonbuddy naturally goes away, delivers the letter and the lovebirds find momentary happiness (for the duration of 2-3 songs), until the baddies accuse Suman of being a gold-digger and she has to return to her father. Father feels dishonored (righto), Prem appears to prove his love, and in an hour's time already the movie ends nicely.]

Voisin tiivistellä juonta enemmänkin mutta on painavampia asioita käsiteltävänä! Kuten... [I could sum up the plot some more but there are things of more imporance to go through. Such as...]

Paidaton Salman! (Aika helmi kollaasi tuolla seinällä. Sisustusprojekti!) [Shirtless Salman! (What a gem of a collage on that wall. Home deco project!]

Hikipannat! [Sweatbands!]

Pidän MPK:sta oikeasti tosi paljon. Se on ainoa Rajshri -elokuva, jossa perinteisiä perhearvoja ei tuomiteta aivoihin sähkövasaran avulla, vaan annetaan nuorten hahmojen rakkaustarinan voittaa puolelleen ja sitten revitään heitä melodramaattisesti erilleen juuri sopivasti. Suman on ehdottomasti perinteinen naishahmo, jolle siveys on kaikki kaikessa, ja vanhempien kunnioitus, uskonnollisuus ja muut tähän hahmotyyppiin kuuluvat piirteet ovat selkärangassa, ja pahikset ja hyvikset tunnistaa juuri näiden arvojen kautta. Pahis on länsimaalaistunut, joka juo ja polttaa ja on tuo itseään ilmiselvästi seksuaalisesti esiin. Hyvis, varsinkin naispuolinen sellainen, on seksuaalisesti pidättyväinen; he ovat äitejä ja siveitä tyttäriä. [I genuinely like MPK a lot. It's the only Rajshri movie where the traditional family values aren't delivered to your brain using an electric hammer, but the love story of the young characters wins you over and then the lovers are torn apart melodramatically, just the right amount. Suman is definitely a traditional type of female character, to whom chastity is everything and respecting elders, piety and other traits of this archetype are in her backbone, and bad guys and the good guys can be recognized clearly through these values. The baddie is westernized, who drinks and smokes and blatantly brings our their sexuality. The goody, especially female such, is sexually demure; they are mothers and chaste daughters.]

Voisi kuvitella, että näin ollen rakkauden lihallinen puoli loistaisi poissaolollaan, mutta tässä kohdin vähemmän hienovarainen symboliikka astuu kuvaan. Koko ajan Prem hiplaa Sumanin kasvoja jollain esineellä kuin Mughal-e-Azamissa ikään, oli esine sitten kukka tai jääpala. Toisella katselukerralla oikein yllätyin tästä elokuvan puolesta. [You would think that because of this, the carnal side of love would be non-existant but in this instance, not-so-subtle symbolism steps into frame. Most of the time Prem is feeling Suman's face up with some object like this is Mughal-e-Azam, whether the object in question is a flower or an ice cube. On the second viewing I was quite surprised by this aspect of the film.]

Hyvin mielenkiintoinen on myös kohta, jossa Suman omaksuu rakastuneen naisen identiteetin pukeutumalla sariin ja päästämällä pitkät kutrinsa avoimeksi hiusmassaksi. Se kuvaa yhtä lailla kasvamista tytöstä naiseksi kuin myös valmistautumista vaimon rooliin, joka on tietysti myös seksuaalinen. [The bit where Suman assumes the identity of a woman in love by wearing a sari and letting her hair loose into a mass of hair against her back, is also very interesting. It depicts growing up from a girl to a woman as well as preparing for the role of the wife, which is of course also sexual.]

Toisaalta saatan vain olla jonkinlaisessa häiriintyneessä hormonitilassa. Puolustukseni on sanottava, että kemia pääosien esittäjien välillä yksinkertaisesti toimii. Sinänsä vain hyvä, että elokuva jäi Bhagyashreen ja Salmanin ainoaksi yhteiseksi; harvinainen yhdistelmä jää ansaitusti legendaariseksi. [Of course this could just be me in some sort of disturbed hormonal state. In my defence I have to say that the chemistry between the leads simply works. It's actually kind of good that the movie was the only one they did together; the rare combination remains a deservedly legendary one.]

En kyllä voi edes teeskennellä, ettei koko elokuvan ajan ajatuksieni kaava mennyt jotenkin näin: nuori Salman! Salman nuorena! nuori! Salman! Salluuuu! nallekarhujen keskellä! tanssimassa suht kehnosti! nuori Salman! Salmaaaan! [I can't, however, pretend that the pattern of my thoughts during the whole movie wasn't something like this: young Salman! Salman as a young man! young! Salman! Salluuuu! among teddy bears! dancing somewhat badly! young Salman! Salmaaan!]

Mutta mitään pahaa ei voi sanoa Bhagyashreestä, päinvastoin. Sievä näyttelijätär, jolla on upea hymy, söpön pieni ääni. Hänellä olisi ollut täydellinen potentiaali tulla Juhi Chawlaksi Juhi Chawlan paikalle; näyttelijätär, joka valaisee valkokankaan pelkällä läsnäolollaan. [But nothing bad can be said about Bhagyashree, quite the opposite. Pretty actress, who has a gorgeous smile and a cutely small voice. She had the perfect potential to become the Juhi Chawla to replace Juhi Chawla; an actress who lights up the screen just by being on it.]

Musiikki on totta kai loistavaa, alkaen ensimmäisestä biisistä, joka mainostaa "ystävyyden vuodenaikaa" ja katolla tanssittavasta Final Countdown-kopiosta, unohtamatta antakshari-kohtausta, sekä "Dil deewana"-biisin kaikkia muotoja. Kaikki liikehdintä on aika kasaria, mutta osittain aivan täydellisellä tavalla. Aivan ikimuistoinen hetki on Salmanin tanssahtelu vakavana temppelin edessä, pyytämässä jumalalta jotain apua rakkauden puolustamiseen. Loistavaa. [The music is of course brilliant, starting from the first song that advertises the "season of friendship" and the roof top dance number that rips off Final Countdown, not to forget the antakshari-scene or all forms of Dil deewana. All the choreography is pretty 80's, but partly in a perfect way. One unforgettable moment is Salman's dancing seriously outside a temple, asking god for some help to defend his love. Brilliant.]

Joku mystinen hienous tässä elokuvassa on. Sinänsä koko teos on vanhasta puusta veistetty mutta samalla tulee selvästi tunne, että jotkut aineksista ovat oikeastaan muodostuneet kliseiksi vasta reilusti tämän elokuvan jälkeen. Kasarinaurettavuuskin on omalla tavallaan täydellistä viihdettä, nuoret näyttelijät toimivat pääosissa, musiikki on hyvää, vaatetuskaan ei oikeastaan ole niin kamalaa, eikä edes kolmen tunnin pituus puuduta niin paljon kuin mitä voisi olettaa. [This film has some mystic greatness to it. In a way the whole work is carved out of old wood but at the same time you get a distinct feeling that some of the ingredients have actually formed as cliches only after this film. The 80s cheese is in its own way perfect entertainment, the young actors work in the leads, the music is good, the fashion's not that bad, and even the 3 hour length isn't as numbing as one might think.]

Tietysti on ihan täysin makuasia, kiinnostaako paidattoman Salmanin uran alku, hattaramainen rakkaustarina melodramaattisilla höysteillä ja uppoaako katolla tuulikoneen kanssa pelehtiminen alkuunkaan. Omalla kohdallani on pakko vastata, että kyllä, kyllä, ja totta helvetissä. Ainakin tietyssä mielentilassa. [Of course it's entirely a matter of taste whether you're interested in the beginnings of shirtless Salman, the fluffy love story with melodramatic trimmings and whether fooling on the roof with a wind machine is your thing in the least. Myself I have to answer, yes yes and hell yes. At least when the mood strikes.]

PS.

Nuori Salman! [Young Salman!]


***

Woot, my first bilingual review. God this is all over the place, I'm glad most of you don't know Finnish. The translations are pretty hastily done because it's getting late and I just wanted to get this friggin' done. It's tough for me to review movies in Finnish, I noticed. My style is a little bit of this and that in Finnish, I can't quite work out whether I should write casual or more formal or tongue-in-cheek or more serious-like, and I can't quite work out my stylistic choices like I can in English. Goddammit. I suck at my own mother language.

Oh well. Hope you enjoyed! Thanks to everybody who voted on the poll. MPK won 50% of the votes, hence the pick.

Fun fact: "kyyhkyläiset" (trans: lovebirds) comes from the word "kyyhky" meaning pidgeon. Kabutar ja ja ja! :)

Another fun fact: I couldn't find an English trans to Finnish "syntymäpäiväsankari" (birthday hero, ie. whose birthday is celebrated). Hence why the end of the first paragraph is kinda awkward.

Wanted - celebrating cross-regional talent exchange.

I wasn't overly impressed with Aamir's Ghajini but I suppose I have to thank it for allowing Hindi industry to see that the action entertainers the Tamil and Telugu industries churn out and have been for a very long time are worth taking a look at. The action direction, the cinematography and often the stories and acting can be all-around top-notch. Overlooking these films is a mistake, and remaking them can be a venture that benefits everybody; the viewers, the producers and the stars.

Wanted definitely belongs to the successful bunch of Southie-to-Bolly remakes, and isn't to be grouped with those haphazardly directed Priyadarshan remakes that barely anybody remembers or cares to remember they are even remakes in the first place. I suspect Wanted benefited a lot from transporting some of South's talent along with the script. Prabhudeva (or Prabhudheva as the name is spelled in the credits) lends his talent to the direction and the choreography (of course!). Prakash Raj plays a villain like only he could. The cinematographer Nirav Shah has worked in most industries but the fights are shot like this is a gritty Tamil action masala, not Dhoom 2.

I'm beyond happy with this exchange of talent. If you must remake, why look outside India for good stories? And while, admittedly, a lot of these remakes can turn out much lamer than the original, this is one example where I think they got it right. Of course, I've seen neither Pokiri or Pokkiri, the Telugu original or the Tamil remake, but the feel of the film is pitch-perfect and reminds me of all my Southie favourites of this genre.

I'm definitely with Shweta, theBollywoodFan, Ramsu and Nicki (no review yet, Nicki?) on this: Wanted is a gem.

Radhe (Salman Khan, in absolute top form ..if only he was this good all the time!) is an unapologetic goonda. If he gets paid, he kills and he sides with the gangster who pays him more, forming no lasting alliances. He is absolutely unstoppable. In Mumbai, you have two gangsters, each fighting to gain a bigger share of the power pie, a police commissioner desperate to stop them and from this jumble of a plot, we get two head villains; Prakash Raj playing Ganibhai, a gangster arranging things comfortably from abroad and Mahesh Manjrekar playing a grossly corrupt cop, sleazily courting the heroine Jhanvi (Ayesha Takia).

The story is surprisingly good - I say surprisingly because I was only expecting a mildly okay one to excuse all the gory kills Salman delivers in this movie. It keeps you hooked to the movie, and is paced very nicely. I have to mention the small but significant presence of Vinod Khanna in this film, one of the reasons I had to see it. The concentration of "People Veracious Really Likes" in this movie is pretty damn high. More of films like this, please! (Mani Ratnam is clearly listening, as he's making the Hindi Raavana - Abhishek and Vikram, yes!)

Another reason why the film stole my heart during the first thirty minutes or so is the mix of comedy and romance. While the "comedy track" (a staple on Southie films of this kind) in Wanted was kind of lacking, the interesting romance was infused with comedy at first and it's an absolute riot. Not to spoil anything, but Radhe's constant hallucinations and the cute elevator scene made me crack up constantly. As Jhanvi begins to realize just what kind of a man she's gotten involved with, we see her struggle with it, as one realistically would. I like the uncertainty in the romantic storyline, and Salman and Ayesha shared lovely chemistry.

Prakash Raj is, as expected, awesome. His Ganibhai is cool and clever, but not clever enough to never be completely outwitted, and not cool enough not to be rattled. He's a sleaze, but knows the game he's playing. There's a brilliant self-aware moment in the film where he tells Radhe, "You look like a romantic hero." and Radhe coolly replies, "You look like a villain in a b-grade Hindi film."

But let it be known to the Hindi-film-watching masses; Prakash Raj is a grade A villain, all around. This movie can serve as evidence.

Salman Khan doesn't really act as much as he is and does. The way he channels this role is great, though. Radhe has both the cool romantic hero that has a sense of humor about himself and the merciless killing machine inside of him. Most of the time I forget why I like Salman as an actor, and then films as good as this one, carried so nicely by his broad shoulders, remind me why.

If I had one complaint about the film, it would be that as lovely as the picturizations are, supremely choreographed and just plain fun to watch, the songs aren't all that. I don't find myself humming them, or wanting to listen to them again. They are memorable only because of the visuals; Jalwa with its ace guest appearances and some of the others thanks to dancing and how good the actors look.

I would definitely place Wanted among my favourites of the year, but not recommend it for those people who despise violence and plenty of inventive, gory deaths. For Southie fans such a disclaimer would not be necessary, but for Hindi film fans more used to lighter violence or no violence whatsoever, I feel like giving a warning is only fair.

Star interviews - our favourites.

Stars don't have it easy, as this picture of the deeply frowning, pensive-looking Saif Ali Khan demonstrates. Interviews are a tough gig; how to not show your deep hatred of journalists while answering their questions to make sure you do your bit for some film's marketing. I don't read a whole ton of interviews but based on what I've read of Saif's, I can say this dude does not dig the journo's. As probably don't a lot of stars, he's just not as good at masking it.

But I was reminded me of some of my favourite star interviews when listening to the LoveBollywood podcast from months back which featured Shahrukh Khan and Lara Dutta discussing then-new Billu (Barber).

One of the hosts: Shahrukh, how should I do my hair?
Shahrukh: But then what will we do to your face?

Call me weird, but I laughed out loud at that.

So, some of my favourite interviews that come to mind...

BAFTA goes Bollywood with Aamir Khan - Aamir's interviews tend to be favourites of mine because the man has a lot of good stuff to say but this one stands out because in here he talks about getting into the physicality of his characters. While some non-fans will roll their eyes at his lite method acting discussions, it's a great interview, very interesting and a must watch for people who love the guy.

Most Salman Khan interviews - I don't get the vitriol some people have for this guy. Sure, he's past his heyday and has the worst picks in films sometimes, and there's a lot of very nasty rumors about him circling around. But in interviews he always seems like a really relaxed guy with a clear sense of self and a truly quirky sense of humor. I'd link to the CNN-IBN interview that made me well aware of this fact some years back but I can't find it.

Farhan Akhtar on LoveBollywood when Rock On!! was releasing - Since this is no longer available on the BBC website, download link here. Farhan talks about how he got into acting, how he wrote and worked on DCH, and his other films, too. He's a smart chap, and this is one of the best LoveBollywood interviews I've listened. I loved it the first time I listened through it, and after I saw Rock On, I had to go back and give it another listen.

Koffee with Karan, season 1, Abhishek & Preity - I thought KwK was always an incredibly overappreciated chat show. Karan was not the best of hosts, but some episodes really stand out because the guests are friends with each other, and friends with Karan and actually comfortable enough to discuss interesting things and even mock Karan a little. This is one of those episodes. And it made me want to see them together in a movie, which happened eventually in the form of Jhoom Barabar Jhoom. Since the series got a DVD release, it must have been yanked down from youtube, but if you can, seek it out and watch it.

Siddharth on Filmfare (aka the True Angry Young Man Interview) - Scans of it here. Newsflash! Sidd is no big fan of journos, so much so I feel bad for the interviewer. This dude comes of as cold and refuses to discuss anything not to do with his movies. He has some very strong opinions on South vs North which I can agree with, and even on the success of his own movies. Siddharth's an unique character in the film industry - not really there to make friends and rub elbows with big names, just to work and do his best at it. Fascinating interview on the real personality behind Indian cinema's cutest face. (Only for true fans; some non-fans might be turned off by this.)

Bluffmaster's making of - This is either the most honest interview ever or the most honest deceitful one. Probably the latter. It's just fantastic. Riteish talks about how he's the real star of the movie, Abhishek talks about why people call Boman Irani a great actor because he's old.. It's just great. Search it on youtube if you don't own the DVD yet.

So here were my favourites (or some of them). How about yours?

Tough luck. Salaam-e-Ishq and the wonder of rewatches.

Sometimes it's time to just face the facts. That movie you pretty much loved when you first saw it, as a celebration of what Bollywood is all about, back when it first came out, the movie you kept in the back of your head for a future DVD purchase, that movie you've been meaning to re-watch for ages ... that movie, it turns out, might not be as good as you thought.

What's even sadder is that you ( - me - all of us at one point I suppose) have always recognized its flaws. As any film, it certainly had some. But now, rewatching, you find yourself wishing it was at least half as exciting as the first time. This is the review of my initial thoughts, by the way. It's from 2007, obviously. But god, that date seems like ages ago.

As most of you probably know, Salaam-e-Ishq is Nikhil Advani's first movie on his own, without the ever-watchful eye of Karan Johar leaving its mark on the movie. It features, what, six different couples and their storylines as they deal with love; difficulties with it, rediscovery of it, or just fulfilling it. As you might assume, it's a little too ambitious a concept to pull off and keep it interesting - the storylines do cross over, but remain mostly separate, and as some of them are not as good as the others, the viewer does begin wishing they got back to those good storylines and just leave the rest be. The film runs long, even longer in its original theatrical version, and you can really feel it at times. The first time I saw it, I felt it would've made a better mini-series than a movie; too bad India hasn't familiarized itself with the format of a television mini-drama yet.

For me on this particular rewatch, only three storylines seemed worthwhile. The above screencap is the least entertaining of the three but fun enough all the same; Akshaye Khanna plays the playboy-like, commitment-phobic Shiven whose patient fiancee Gia (Ayesha Takia) finally ditches him so he may rediscover the meaning of love and whatnot. While this is one of the few Akshaye Khanna films I quite like (or don't actively dislike), the character being such an asshole does really get to me. He has quite literally no reason to act that way, and his progress of learning how to appreciate Gia is not very satisfying for me - especially because they cut one (slightly comedic) scene where he explains to a hallucination Gia why he's so afraid of commitment (my memories of this are fuzzy but that's how I recall it). That scene seems to have made all the difference for me.

I'm much less ambivalent about my adoration for this storyline; Kkamini (Priyanka Chopra), an item girl striving to be a fully-fledged heroine comes up with a plan to pretend to have a secret boyfriend, Rahul, until a mystery man (Salman Khan) actually enters her life - in front of all cameras - and claims to be said Rahul. I love everything about this storyline. It's self-referential (Salman addresses the audience, pointing at the camera), it's funny (this is possibly the best I've seen of Priyanka's comedienne skills), it's sweet (the slow falling in love, the reveal of Rahul's actual identity..) and most importantly, both actors absolutely excel in their roles. I'm still not huge on Priyanka but this is without a doubt my favourite performance of hers, just spot-on as the diva-like wannabe-starlet. And Salman is in his element, subtly funny and romantic and just a great presence against Priyanka's manic Kkamini.

Akshaye approves!

The third storyline, and who could've been stars of their own movie in my opinion, was that of Raju (Govinda), a taxi driver who dreams of love, and ends up trying to help Stephanie (Shannon Esra, a white South-African actress) find her Indian jackass of a boyfriend, even though Raju is falling in love with her as they journey around India. I'm not sure if this is the performance that brought Govinda back as I haven't seen much of him as of late, but it certainly is a solid one, and the romance developing despite communication difficulties is just so touching and heartfelt and punctuated by some of the best scenes in the film.. it's hard not to love this one. I was too busy enjoying it to screencap it, really.

So, what's the final judgment? I guess there isn't one, really. Maybe I'll rewatch in 2011 and realize what a wonderful joyride this movie is, despite its numerous flaws - the soundtrack is catchy and the picturizations are certainly memorable. Maybe this time it was just the wrong movie at the wrong time. The point is, I guess, that I wish some of these storylines had gotten their own films - their own chances to shine and be as lengthy and as elaborate as they needed to be. Then the filler stories wouldn't have had to be there. But it is what it is, I suppose. A tribute to love; through sickness and through health.

(And before you ask, I didn't mention John-Vidya because I am a heretic and not a huge fan of it. Vidya does some great acting but overall, I'm just not into it.)