Alternative Valentine's: pondering friendship.

Over here, we don't celebrate Valentine's as a day of romance, but as a day of friendship. I much prefer it - for one, I don't have to feel like a lonely person, and two, friendship is one of those things that definitely ought to have a holiday.
So I started to think about the status of friendship in Hindi films. Besides the classic "Yeh Dosti", there's the much quoted line from Maine Pyaar Kiya: It's not necessary to say sorry or no thank you in friendship.
I often wonder whether anybody actually took this line to heart and lived their friendships like this. As much as the line is a sweet thing to quote to your best friend when they've done something wrong or when you've done something wonderful to them (nothing to be sorry about, yaar - nothing to thank me over, either, that was nothing), it's not precisely true. In fact, perhaps the very opposite ought to be true. In friendships, you should thank your friend, and be sorry for causing them grief, because it just frankly shows you care.


But moving on. The anecdote goes, Farhan Akhtar set out to write Dil Chahta Hai because he noticed that the Hindi film hero's friends tend to disappear during to the second half of the film. They're there to help the romance along, provide comedy, offer support - but as soon as the film moves onto the main romance, the friends no longer have a function. So DCH puts the romance in the sidelines and makes the friendship the focus - the film isn't over until the friends are all together, nevermind the girls they get along the way.
This is an interesting notion, and very true in films, but perhaps - once again - not so much in life. Friends tend to stick with you through failed or difficult romances. But in great love stories, your soulmate is all you need - once you have him/her, what do you need these meddlesome friends for? They're better off finding their own soulmates, provided there's a subplot they can fit this into.

But there are some really wonderful, true-to-life portrayals of friendship in Hindi films. Friends don't always do a disappearing act - sometimes they're even the focus. And of course, there's the cliché of a pair starting out as friends and eventually realising their feelings for one another...
We are, well, at least I am, still waiting for some things: the female Dil Chahta Hai is one, as friendship between females seems to rarely get center stage or get elevated to that epic "Yeh dosti" type of friendship level. Again, there are exceptions - beautiful, cherished exceptions. But mostly I'm still waiting.
Then there are the absolute travesties, too. For example, to whom is Dostana a tale of perfect friendship? Lying and then attempted seduction on the sly is not what I call a friendship!

And of course, then there are friendships that are too epic for their own good, such as Main Khiladi Tu Anari.
And that, I think, is a good place to end this post on.

What if Rancho was Radhika? Genderswitching Indian films.

The recent hullabaloo regarding Disney's Rapunzel changing its title to Tangled (along with other changes) to attract boy viewers have made me think about gender in cinema and television, once again. When even Disney's dreamy princess fairytales (which have been critisized for providing regressive portrayals of gender; girls are there for boys to rescue) are being sold to attract boys, because apparently only boys matter as viewers, it's like, what gives?

This lead me to thinking about Hindi cinema, or most of what I've seen of Indian cinema on the whole, and how much of films are men's stories and purely men's stories. This is the sort of thing one comes to accept as a fact, so much that I tend to forget about it, and then I see something that is an exception and it's a jolt, a surprise. In Hollywood we've got problems of a different set; women directors not being taken seriously, thinking they can only make a certain genre, and female characters only on-screen to talk about men (see also: Bechdel test).

I look at my DVD shelf and do a count of films I own that could be considered women's stories; Seeta Aur Geeta, Meera (70's film), Aaja Naachle, Chak De India, Dor, Ek Hasina Thi, Dil Bole Hadippa (kind of? maybe?), Namastey London (again, kind of).

Then there are a bunch of romantic movies which I really enjoy, because the heroines in them are active and brilliant, and nicely fleshed out characters, like Hum Tum, Bunty Aur Babli, Jab We Met, Kaminey. Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic, which most people hated but I loved, could also be considered a semi-female-centric movie.

On the Southie side, I can't see much -- though I enjoy some characters a lot, like the spunky Jothika character in Dhool and Kaadhal's awesome heroine who actually pursues the hero and is not afraid to show her sexuality.

But why am I bringing this up? Because I like to play a game of genderswitch - "what if so and so film had female leads, not male ones?" Just like Ramesh Sippy did in the 70's, when he decided to remake Ram aur Shyam, not starring Rajesh Khanna, Dharmendra, Sanjeev Kumar, Shashi Kapoor or Amitabh Bachchan, but with Hema Malini as the twins. A good show of how this "what if" game can actually wield results. So let's get to it.

Dil Chahta Hai is the first one I've seen people long for - show girls having deep-rooted friendships, show them break up and make up, and find love and then rekindle their friendships with one another. The closest we ever got to this was Chak De India, a rare film where we see girls have the same epic, complex relations that are usually reserved for boys in films.

A genderswitch version of Dostana would probably be the boldest mass entertainer in recent years. Showing girls pretend to be lesbians because they like a guy they moved in with? This would be a much more interesting film than the actual Dostana, but also questionable - there's a lot of sexist and homophobic thinking out there that all lesbians need is a love of a man to make them straight (ugh). So perhaps it's best to change the ending somehow - maybe the girls really fall for each other, but being competitive as they are, they end up in a matchmaking competition, each trying to set up their male flatmate with a girl of their choice. Eventually the flatmate gets fed up with this, confronts them, the girls make up, and they continue living together in harmony. Happies ending!

3 Idiots is another obvious one; a movie centered around guys in an all-male institution, learning important, epic lessons about life and learning itself. A movie like this being genderswitched might result in some interesting discoveries about the value of female education (and how it is being consistently undervalued by some), parental pressures of a different sort (both to a career choice and to get married) etc. But at the core the message wouldn't change much - female students also need to begin realizing their full potential by going for what they desire in life, not what they are pushed towards.

Some movies would be so starkly different they wouldn't work on the same level. Consider for example any film where a hero goes through consider amount of violence. The heroine who could withstand that, fight back physically, and come out on top would be exceptional and that would change certain things about the movie. However, it's not impossible - Mumaith Khan and some other heroines have done full-on action roles in the South industries.

I'm not sure if I have a closing thought. I guess I wish somebody in current Indian cinema would do as Ramesh Sippy did; spin a male-centric story into a female-centric one, and make gold. But something's stopping them, and I am not interested in hearing excuses (it wouldn't make any money, none of the current crop of heroines are good enough, people go to see heroes, not heroines..), I just want to see the film happen. If you make a good enough film, it'll be a hit. But who's brave enough to make the effort and take that leap?

Here's to hoping somebody is.

[Ladies in this post; Jothika, Katrina Kaif in Namastey London, Hema Malini in Laal Patthar, Konkona Sen Sharma in Omkara, Vidya Balan in Guru.]

Memelicious; Saif Ali Khan alphabets.

For one of my favourite actors in the world of Hindi cinema, I talk about Saif quite a little. I could pretend I have no idea why that is, but honestly, I know exactly why. It's because he released Race this year (not all his fault but good god!), it's because he seems to be only in the news to gloat about how awesome it is to date Kareena Kapoor (I love her, too, but I honestly don't care about the two of them anymore!), it's because .. well, I guess the level of enthusiasm has dropped from "ooh, new Saif film!" to wary optimism (occasionally pessimism) about his future films. The man's never been perfect (and don't I know it) but sometimes he's a little less imperfect, you have to admit. 2006 was a terrific year to be a Saif fan, for example.

But as the fun alphabet meme's been going around, Beth giving some love to Rani Mukherjee and Shweta listing Hindi noir films of the olde, I thought I'd list alphabets Saif-ly.

A is for Akshay. Bet you failed to see this one coming. Yes, Akshay Kumar, current king of the box office (save Tashan for numerous reasons I could speculate, but hopefully none of them is the fact Saif and Akshay starred in the film together), the best co-star Saif can have and has had as far as I'm concerned. Don't get me wrong, he's great with a lot of other people, as well, but something about his chemistry with Akshay just gels and they both have comic timing to die for.
Plus they get along great in real life. Here's hoping they do something together in the future.

B is for Being Cyrus. Excellent dark comedy in English, directed by Homi Adajania. It has some parts that are a little too weird, but I adore everybody's performance in this (Simone Singh, Dimple Kapadia, Boman Irani, Naseeruddin Shah & Saif naturally - what a cast!), and remember Saif saying in an interview it's the kind of film he enjoys the most himself. I've heard rumors the director is working on a new film that will be produced by Saif's company - let's hope it turns out to be true.

C is for Cyrus or see how incredibly uninventive I am even this early in the post.

D is for Dil Chahta Hai. Predictable, I know, but what else would you place here? Saif as the hopeless Sameer is just one of his absolute funniest, effortless performances, and it's also the one that convinced a lot of people this guy should stay in movies. The friendship between the trio of guys in this film is still considered one of the most realistic, wonderful depictions of friendship in Hindi film history and it's often mentioned as changing the tone of Bollywood films and bringing them to the new millennium. Quite a lot of praise for one movie, but if you still haven't seen it, forget everything I just said and watch it for a fun time.

E is for Ek Hasina Thi. If you haven't seen this movie yet, drop everything you're doing, rush to Nehaflix, your local Hindi DVD retailer and buy this film. Now. I'm 100% serious. I remember when after seeing Hum Tum (a film that showed that that guy I liked a lot in Kal Ho Naa Ho was good in other films, too, and I was beginning to consider myself a fan) I was browsing IMDb and checking out Bollywood films I potentially wanted to see, and ran into EHT. I only remember seeing the poster with the streams of blood and the tag line "It started like any other love story..." and I knew I had to get my hands on the film. It is quite simply all-around excellent, and even if it wasn't, I'd want to own it because Saif looks his absolute hottest in this film.

F is for funny. Because comedy's really what appeals to me most about certain actors, and Saif is one of those actors. Even when I drag myself through his godawful (or just very very mediocre) 90's films, sometimes the script is barely good enough to allow his comic timing to surface itself. The thing is, he had it in him all along but the films he chose to do (or got offered) were mostly dreadful junk. Somewhere along the line he grew confidence and the ability to choose wiser and for that I'm glad. Nowadays the same problem persists, though: there simply aren't good enough Hindi comedies to go around.

G is for gay jokes. See also: Kantabeen. See also: Filmfare 2004. See also: this clip. You know you want to.

H is for Hameesha. Some people might tell you this movie is cheesy fluff. Some people might tell you this movie is adorable and stupid. Some people might tell you you'll want to see it. Some people are wrong. Hameesha ('always') is a godawful, boring, ridiculous 90's movie starring Saif and Kajol, where Saif's mullet is out of control, so much so it gets it should get its own credit, the story is some dumb crap with reincarnation, and it remains the only film where I've found Kajol's acting completely unconvincing. "Neela dupatta" may be a fun song, the fashion may be laughably bad but please don't subject yourself to this movie. Oh god please.

I is for Ishwar 'Langda' Tyagi aka the role we'll hopefully remember him from in the future. A part of the appeal of Omkara is no doubt the fact that some of its cast steps outside their usual character nichés to portray something radically different. The change from the modern, super-rich, English-speaking NRI type characters to a dirty UP gangster who's most at home in the village is indeed a stark one. Roles like this don't come very often, and I'm glad Saif had this opportunity. Here's to hoping it won't be the last one!

J is for jodis. Probably one of the most popular Saif jodis is Preity-Saif, here in a misleadingly adorable picture from Kya Kehna which is actually NOT a very good film, and their pairing in it is also not too romantic. Do not be fooled!

K is for Karan. Karan, not for Karan Johar who put him him Kal Ho Naa Ho, but Karan as Karan Kapoor of Hum Tum and Karan Singh Rathod from Ek Hasina Thi. Two excellent but very different performances, both from 2004. Karan Kapoor is the character who grows up and matures during the movie, while Karan Singh Rathod is the character who remains the same throughout the film. Whatever change might occur in him, it's only on the surface, a mask he puts on and off as he wishes. Two of my favourite performances by him, and good films, too.

L is for Love Ke Liye Kuch Bhi Karega. An underrated film, one of the few truly situtional comedies Bollywood has produced, also starring Aftab Shivdasani, Fardeen Khan and Sonali Bendre, including Johnny Lever at his funniest (yes, I said it - he is truly funny in this one). This is a predecessor to Dil Chahta Hai, but Saif's performance is up to that DCH level and so if you're running out of post-2001 Saif films to watch, rent this one.

M is for "My adorable darling". The catchiest, worst Hinglish song ever, from Main Khiladi Tu Anari. Sung by Anu Malik himself! God, the horror.

N is for "No Smoking". The theme is central in the episodic film Darna Mana Hai ('fear is forbidden' - should more accurately be called 'fear is impossible because the film is more funny than scary'), where Saif stars in a segment where he plays a photographer checking into a motel run by Boman Irani's character. I love it a lot, Boman and Saif are just hilarious together.

O is for "Ole ole" from Yeh Dillagi. Mullet!Saif classic. Watch here.

P is for Parampara. An early 1990's film with Saif and Aamir as frenemies. You might ask yourself, "why haven't I seen this?". The answer is: the universe is smart and has made sure the DVD's of it aren't that widely available. It's just not very good. Sadly it's not incredibly bad, either, so I know some of you have seen it, and some of you are googling for the DVD as I type this.

Q is for "quite painful" which is the only way I can describe watching a song DVD filled with songs from Saif's crappy 90's film catalogue. You'll never see so much crotch-thrusting in your life. I had to take a shower afterwards because I just felt gross - it's like bad cinema taints your skin.

R is for Rohit Patel. I remember like it was not yesterday but a day way cooler than yesterday and thus worth remembering. Me and my friend, going to the Helsinki International Film Festival to see Kal Ho Naa Ho, a film about which we knew virtually nothing except it starred Shahrukh Khan, an actor we both quite liked. But the weirdest thing happened - instead of loving Shahrukh like usually, I found I kind of preferred the other guy - the awkward Rohit who failed at love but made funny jokes and was otherwise sympathetic. He gets shafted in the movie, but I still think fondly of him.


S is for Sharmila & Soha. The two gorgeous filmi women in his family; the mother and the sister.

T is for Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic. Sure, it's a cheesy children's movie, but it sure as hell beats the other Saif/Rani children's film starting with T where the worst thing EVER is when a super-rich family has to go middle class and live in an apartment (ugh can you imagine the horror!)... Needless to say, I hate the latter movie. Thoda Pyaar is quite sweet, though.

U is for "unwise" which is how I would describe watching more than three song picturizations from really bad 90's Saif Ali Khan movies.
V/W is for "Woh ladki hai kahan". Fantastic song and funny picturization from DCH.

X is this scene in Parineeta.

Y is for Yeh Dillagi, the most recommendable Saif film from the 90's (next to MKTA) and Yash Raj Films, the production house who just loooves casting Saif.

Z is for zzz or congratulations whoever made it through this incredibly long post!

That small difference. Dil Chahta Hai & Parampara.

Friendship in the 00's: you meet him at college, you get to know each other, you go on a road trip to Goa and goof around in the sun for the dorks you are.

Friendship in the 90's: you meet him at college, you get to get to know each other, play some music together, fence, and realize you are both destined to kill one another.

The former dosti is of course, Dil Chahta Hai, a movie known by nearly all and loved by most. I'm huge on DCH, it climbs high places on all of the following; my overall favourites, my modern favourites, my favourite Aamir films, my favourite Saif films, my favourite soundtracks.. I just simply really adore it.

The latter is Parampara, a 1993 Yash Chopra (!) film, which isn't too easy to find so despite having two of today's biggest stars (Saif and Aamir) and even one yesteryear star (Vinod in his 90's avatar), not all that many Bollyfans seem to have picked this one up. When you see it, you know exactly why.

Parampara drinking game; take one whenever they say the word parampara (means tradition, by the way). Take two whenever they say parampara in connection with the word khoon (blood, also in the verb khoon kiya - to kill).

If you do manage to dig up this film somewhere, please note the fact this is my man Saif Ali Khan's first film. He's all kinds of ridiculous but, I do also want to point out, oh-so-young.

I believe the less said about Vinod in this film, the better. I mean, I love his guts but sometimes too old is too old is too old.

To summarize Parampara, I will use the only screencap I will ever need of Dil Chahta Hai:

Thank you and good night.