A month in India, part 2: R... Rajkumar.

Prabhudeva began his directorial career with the spry revitalisation of the Maine Pyar Kiya plot in the Telugu favourite Nuvvostenante Nenoddantana, and continued his directorial exploits in the South, before smashing onto the Hindi scene with Wanted, a Southie remake, but a badass one at that. I was a fan from the get-go, liking his visual, bombastic masala style, alongside the amazing choreography that his films always seemed to have. To pair him up with Shahid Kapoor, an excellent leg shaker in his own right, and add a bit of roughness to him in the action masala format - this all seemed like the recipe of a great movie.

R.. Rajkumar has a story that is almost so forgettable that I've actually forgotten the details, aside from the barebones plot structure - Shahid plays a hoodlum who joins forces with gratuitously shirtless villain Sonu Sood, mostly for monetary reasons. Things get tricky when Sonu Sood takes an interest in the daughter of the corrupt politician he's in cahoots with, who just happens to be the same girl (played by hapless, why-am-I-stuck-in-these-roles Sonakshi Sinha) Shahid's character has been relentlessly harassing for most of the movie. What's going to happen? Spoilers: the poster kind of says it all.

I suppose I should really thank the movie for spinning such a simplistic tale, as it made it very easy to follow with my beginner's Hindi skills in the cool southern Mumbai multiplex I saw this film at. Sonu Sood was great as ever, and the songs were the soundtrack to the rest of my trip, but the positives kind of run out there. What bothered me the most was the absolutely relentless, inexcusable sexual harassment by the main character, portrayed as romantic. You could say this has become an Indian film trope, and especially following the movement to make India safer for women, this trope has been called out - films may just be films, but the women on India's streets who suffer sexual harassment every day of their lives do know the effect that portraying this trope as romantic has on society. It's been a while since I've seen such a blatant example of "eve-teasing" disguised as a romantic subplot. There isn't even the slightest hint of Sonakshi's Chanda liking the main character, and he invades her personal space, doesn't take "no" for an answer, and it's just so, so off-putting.

It's also just completely unnecessary. Why can't she like this guy from the get go? Why can't they have meet-cute and then begin a bickering chemistry, which would largely serve the same function, but take away the icky issues with consent (she said no, so back off, buddy)? You could still have the songs, the arguments, even the slap scene that seems so pivotal, going by the times it's referenced back to.

I hate to turn my back on a guy I once listed as one of my top five directors, alongside such favourites as Manmohan Desai and Shankar, but I'm afraid it's come to this. I barely remember watching Rowdy Rathore, even though I know I did. This one didn't fare much better, though I still enjoy the soundtrack (and Ghandi baat is a song that will always be on my "India trip" playlist). If he insists on spicing his original films with these sorts of off-putting, regressive tropes, I'm just not interested - I like my action masala, but I also like a modicum of respect from the hero towards the heroine. This isn't a tall ask. It really isn't.

Kaminey picspam.

I love the way this movie looks and feels. The oppressive but calming blue tones with occasional flashes of red and gold just seem to add to the gripping atmosphere.



Things only go from bad to worse, and the descent is beautiful to watch, and re-watch, for that matter.

Somehow, Omkara with its tragic ending still feels more rewatchable to me, but Kaminey is just so good, and so well-executed, and with such beautiful music and performances that I couldn't help but love it.

Teri Meri Kahani, or: Mr Kohli's History Lesson.

You all know I am rather fond of Kunal Kohli's work, so it breaks my heart to say that his latest, Teri Meri Kahani, just doesn't quite work. It's got all the filmi traits we know Kohli by; the improbable romance, the poetic love confessions, the tributes to films of the past. And yet, the film is actually among his very worst, all-in-all messy and almost annoyingly mediocre. 

Teri Meri Kahani tells three love stories; the first one begins in Puna, 1960, and as it winds up we go to England, 2012. The final story, from Lahore in 1910, is one that the film spends the most time with and deservedly so. The 60's romance between a film star (Priyanka Chopra) and a struggling musician (Shahid Kapoor) takes place in a strange, blatantly phony and filmi milieu. With studio sets and computer effects, Kohli seeks to create a true period setting, but it just doesn't work, so much so it jerked me right out of the story. 

Not that the story was all that engaging. The first two stories, we're watching Priyanka and Shahid doing their damnest to sell characters with flimsy characterizations falling in love and making googly eyes at one another. There's a strange discrepancy between the stories; while the first tale of love and loss feels inauthentic and self-aware of its filminess, the second tale is supposed to be hip, modern and grounded in our current reality. Only it doesn't quite work, and I didn't care for the characters in the least. Even the song they have is painfully bad.

Thankfully, these stories wind down and we finally get to the third story, in 1910 Lahore, where the village casanova Javed finally meets his match in Anuradha. I strongly suspect this is the story Kohli had the strongest connection to personally. It's full of Urdu shyaari and each couplet is more romantic than the previous - just these little touches bring an extra something that the other tales fail to have. There's a joy to this story; it feels like an actual setting, actual characters, actual passion. It's still filmi and melodramatic in true Kunal Kohli style, but it's his essence, rather than some vague imitation of it. 

It also contains the film's best songs and picturizations.

I'm not a fan of Priyanka Chopra, so if I'm not won over by her in this film, it's hardly surprising. However, I wouldn't say a word against Shahid in this; his charm just about carried my interest, and without it (and him looking spectacularly adorable, as usual), I would've turned this film off before the second half. He's great, simply put - now I just wish he was in better films.

Where does my man Kunal go from here? I'd tell him to stick to his strengths; the poetry-filled romance and strong melodrama is clearly what good Kunal Kohli films are made of, and with the strong cast to perfect them (think Aamir-Kajol, think Saif-Rani), they make for compelling watches. Over-complicating things with three parallel stories, where only one is actually interesting, is not the way to go about these things.

And for god's sake, always have an antakshari scene in there somewhere!

Brb twt snrkng!!!

Shahid, waist-deep in the waters of English spelling.

So I finally decided to check out the Twitter antics of Bollytwitterverse's worst spellers and began with Shahid Kapoor. His most recent tweet?

KEEP IT REAL - Well, how could I possibly argue with that?

i question everythin i do all the time kinda like did i do the right thig or not dnt know if tats gud or not - Typically, doing the right thing is good. But if you want to explore moral philosophy some more, I suggest a bit of James Mill and Immanuel Kant.

i really feel the strongest form of love is surrender although we all know most things r out of our control we still like to believe that - cont'd in another tweet - we r in control of our lives ....... we so arent man hahahaha its like a joke -- I take everything back. This man is already a bonafide philosopher. One of the greats. Or then he's a comedian. Or maybe he is both. What's up with airplane food?

U2 bono wat. Dude luv his music - KEEP IT REAL wat

wassup all i think the best times in life r those where u can just sit all alone do nothin think nothin n feel at peace with urself - I officially want to be inside Shahid's head. It seems like a very calm place to be. (I was going to say simple but that just sounds offensive.)

Man I sound like a philosophical buddha again ..... No no I'm actually this 29yr old brash cool dude who lives life on the edge n all ... - D'awww! Lead us to the light, Shahid. Lead us to the light.

so make the most of this life n be proud of everythin u have acheived big or small does not matter nite all luv luv n more luv - I would so buy a tape of Shahid Kapoor telling me life-affirming clichés about all the things I can achieve. I SO WOULD I'm not even kidding.

Expectation is the cause of all unhappiness ... Don't expect n u will b happy n grateful for everythin that comes ur way - If I could manage this I would give Kismat Konnection & Chance pe Dance a go.

Moving onto the other Spelling Offender, Genelia...

Hey tweeps.Thnx4al ur feedbck on my article.Im jst leavn 4shoot,shootn 4a golf scene,pretty mch d nly sport I havnt playd,excitd2try it thou - ...this is worse than I could've thought possible.

Fasting sure is difficult ya,hw do ppl esp women do it so regurlrly,bt al d same quite enjoyin d fact of keepin up2it or mayb its2early2tlk - I mean, I'm not sure I can do this.. It's like a code and since there's no war going on between Finland and Nation of Genelia, I have no patriotic obligation to cipher these messages, so I'm just not going to.

Sorry!

That concludes this edition of Snarking Bollycelebrity Tweets. Tak care n luv u all so v. much n hope2c u all wtchin mah ltst film n as my bahut pyaara dost @shahidkapoor wud say KEEP IT REAL n nite tweeple!!

Pastiche of praise; Kaminey.

WARNING: I curse in this review. The title of the film gives me full license to, in my opinion. If you're offended by salty language, just don't read this one.

What do you say about a film as universally appreciated as Kaminey? How to phrase things you've read a million times in such a original, refreshing manner that your voice isn't lost in the sea of reviews?

Yes, I made the awful mistake of reading other people's reviews - tons of them - before writing my own. When you've read stuff penned by professionals and goddamn media scholars, why read whatever I have to say?

The problem isn't that my opinion isn't valuable, no, I would never lack the self-esteem to think that. As a blog writer, a certainty in my own views is absolutely essential. No, the problem only comes in when I realize that Kaminey was loved by me as it was by others, and there's nothing I can really add.

Vishal Bharadwaj is making some of the finest films to grace Indian screens this decade - and the upcoming ones, I'm sure of it. Shahid Kapoor, under his direction, has risen to new heights as an actor, carrying the personalities of two very distinct characters perfectly. Priyanka Chopra gave us a wonderfully complex, multifaceted female character. The newcomer character actors all shine.

The plot takes a while to get going but the storytelling is dense, with amazing eye to detail. While I thought the soundtrack was inferior to that of Omkara it is nevertheless worth mentioning. The black comedy is excellent, unexpectedly funny, and fits in well with the occasionally sternly dramatic thriller plot.

I want to rewatch this, again and again, to catch all the details, all the layers to the storytelling, I want to show this to my friends, those who love Bollywood and those who know nothing about it, because this film is just that damn good.

And because I've read a million reviews of this by now, I can honestly say this: fuck Tarantino. Vishal Bharadwaj is not India's Tarantino. I realize getting called that is by no means an insult, but I feel like in some ways, it is. Tarantino makes films with very little heart or purpose, other than to show he's watches a lot of films and he really, really likes them. Bharadwaj has more of an auteur's touch to his films. He doesn't simply get inspired and spin his inspirations into stories, tying them together with quotable dialogue. His films seem to have more heart than that.

(That's not to say Kaminey isn't, in some ways, a very Tarantino-esque film. Comparisons to the good Guy Ritchie films also make a lot of sense. But in the end, Bharadwaj can't be India's Tarantino, because Sriram Raghavan, bless his soul, is India's Tarantino. End of story.)

This might not be the best review I could've written for this film but you know, it might not be the last. I'll be revisiting this film for sure. Hopefully on this blog, as well.

Look, shiny things! Dil Bole Hadippa.

It's one of those movies.

Now, listen. Save anything directed by Siddharth Anand, I like YRF's recent string of releases. Let's put that on the table right now. I realize a lot of people disagree with me, hating Jhoom Barabar Jhoom, despising Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic, finding Aaja Naachle a tired film. I know I'm one of the handful of people who actually bothered rewatching Tashan. So to say this doesn't colour my opinion of this movie would be a blatant lie. (Oh and please, if you are one of those YRF haters, please save your tirades for your own blog, not the comment section of mine.)

Dil Bole Hadippa is one of those movies that YRF haters rejoice in finding, because it has all the things that people critisize the production house of being.

It's fluff with no hard edges that features an idealized Punjab (and an idealized, extremely patriotic view of India). It's colourful picturizations and goofy comedy, it's filmi references thrown in for a good measure, it's a film with a message that isn't necessarily delivered in the most delicate of ways. It's a film that entertains, but it's not a film that can afford being thought through, analyzed and picked apart.

And I quite like it.

Our hero is an NRI (of course) who arrives to Punjab to help his father out by coaching the cricket team that goes up against a Pakistani team every year in a friendly match. Rohan (Shahid Kapoor) is all roll-eyes and reluctant to stay. Meanwhile, a vivacious Punjabi girl Veera (ever-so-lovely Rani Mukherjee) dreams of cricket and nothing but cricket. Being conviniently a worker at a drama company, she decides to get into the team Rohan coaches, even if it means dressing up as a guy - and thus, Veera turns into Veer.

So despite the twenty billion plotholes, impossibilities, improbabilities and the fact the movie can't quite decide whether it wants to be a romantic entertainer or a cricket film, there's something about the film that simply entertains. Maybe it's Rani - while her comedic skills as Veer aren't pitch-perfect, they work good all the same and as Veera she's stunning and extremely lovable. Shahid's not given much to work with, but he does good with what he is given, and the chemistry between them works as well. (And as a fangirl note? Those arms should've had their own billing. Seriously.)

The soundtrack is sufficiently peppy and bhangra-influenced - not amazing, not incredibly original but you know, nice. Also, this is probably the second film where Rakhi Sawant actually works (the other one is Main Hoon Na, of course).

I am disappointed they didn't play around with the crossdressing aspect of the story more. There is so much potential if you take this route, and they didn't seem to even want to squeeze anything particularly new and exciting out of it.

So yeah, listen. I realize this is no DDLJ, nor is it CDI. But not all good films have to be great, they just have to have that something that keeps you wanting to go back. And I think this film has enough of that something, whether it be the songs, Rani's performance, the love story or Shahid('s arms ..sorry, I don't know where that came from).

Sometimes that's all I need.

Ajeev lagta hai, or: more NIF experiences.

I haven't really been watching Indian movies in the past two weeks or so. Correction: I haven't really been watching new Indian films as of late, even with my awesome pile of Southie flicks and my existing pile of unwatched Hindi DVD's. Instead, I've been keeping my NIF friends on a steady diet. Here's what we've watched.

Rock On!! was sadly overshadowed by the presence of the brand new puppy my friend had gotten. The little thing was running around, biting and being chaotic as puppies usually are, and so the brilliant story-telling of the film was constantly taking a back seat to what was happening in the room. But nevertheless, they did see the film, and did enjoy the soundtrack.. Though again, with mixed success; one friend noted during Socha hai, "That dude can't sing", but the other one liked it enough.

There were no comments on the hotness of Farhan, but there was praise on Purab Kohli's comedic skills. Go Purab!


I brought over three DVD's with nothing in common except they're all favourites of mine that I wouldn't mind re-watching: Jab We Met, Dhool and Dharam-Veer. I introduced them to the audience. "This is romantic & awesome, this one has Anniyan Man in it, this one's got everything from samurai's to midgets to gypsies to pirates." One friend said romantic fluff, the other wanted brainmelting midgets and samurais. We rock-paper-scissors it, and Dharam-Veer won. The JWM-supporter friend started whining - she was tired, it'd been a long day, all she wanted was something relaxing and fun to watch. I tried arguing the merits of D-V; it was perfect "turn your brains off" fun! It was masala from the 1970's, for crying out loud,

D-V went into the DVD player, but you've probably already guessed the outcome; after non-stop whinging from Friend #1, Friend #2 succumbed and we turned back to JWM.

Shahid got the honor of being compared to a successful literary character: "He looks like Harry Potter." We giggled over the Harry Potter analogy throughout the first half, and Friend #2 groaned when Shahid begins singing on the bus. "Like you didn't know this was coming!" I old her.

Views on Kareena differed. Friend #2 thought she was "one annoying lady" while Friend #1 said, after the film, "I usually dislike the girls in Bollywood films, but I really liked this one!". Don't worry, Geet, at least you made one new fan!

Emotional appeal was established, probably for the first time since our viewing of Rang De Basanti - Friend #1 admited to getting teary-eyed during one of the heart-string tugging scenes. I consider this one an overall success.

Another evening, another film, and while I love Dhool to pieces, even after this umpteenth rewatch of it, it didn't reach the glorious levels of WTF that Anniyan did, and therefore left my friends a little cold. The songs were appreciated (though perhaps "Kundu kundu" a bit too brainmelting for Friend #2), but the typical "hero-against-corruption" didn't really engage my friends enough for them to truly appreciate the film.

Nevertheless, Friend #1 admitted she was warming up to Vikram's looks and that's good enough for me.

The pseudohistorical crackfest known as Dharam-Veer I watched together with Friend #1, Friend #2 being out of town (god, I really have to come up with better nicknames for them if I continue to write about our filmi sessions on this blog!). This time, the moment just wasn't right. The first half of the movie went swimmingly, my friend fearing constantly a Dharmendra up-skirt shot, which seemed to come around the corner but never (thankfully) did and us snarking the brilliant costuming in the film, and of course, the Wonder Bird Sheroo.

But as the movie continued, the complex, convoluted - maybe slightly stretched-out - plot began to bore me and my friend. The first two times I'd seen the film, I'd loved it to bits. Perhaps it was just the hour of the evening, the stress of the upcoming week creeping up to both of us.. Don't know. I still love the movie as ever, but I suppose it just isn't as tight in terms of direction as I'd want it to be. Then again, maybe Manmohan Desai films never are.


So, that's NIF Story Hour for this time.. I think my friends have had an overload of Hindi/Tamil films for now, but next time I'm considering showing them Nuvvostanante Nenoddantana, Jhoom Barabar Jhoom or Duplicate. Best keep it light.

Say no to shy girls! - Vivah & Pithamagan.

I began watching Vivah, the 2006 Amrita Rao-Shahid Kapoor starrer in curiosity for Shahid, after I had enjoyed his performance in Jab We Met so much (a movie I heartily recommend, by the way). Emphasis on "began", since I did not manage to watch all of it, or even as much as make my way towards the halfway mark.

The reason? Quite simple. I had to surrender in the face of the conservative, very "Indian" values of Vivah. I simply couldn't stomach it. The film's story is that of an arranged marriage - a concept I'm perfectly okay with. But the saccharine sweet family scenarios and particularly the character played by Amrita just made me conclude this was not a film for me. I couldn't wrap my head around why Shahid, why anybody could agree to marry this shy, bland girl who reveals no personality after their first meeting (or I must assume - throughout the whole bloody film). Her downcast eyes, quiet behavior, how she's valued for her beauty (even though she's supposedly an educated, intelligent girl)...

All are reasons why this film makes for incredibly ungrateful feminist viewing. But hey, I'm not looking for feminist heroines in my Bollywood. I know better than to expect all heroines to have jobs and independent lives and kick ass here and there and all over the place. What I would like, however, is a girl who can, oh I don't talk, talk to the hero. Whilst looking at him. Is that so much to ask, really?

However, Vivah is just one of those films. You accept it for what it is, and it's a smooth fluffy sail, I'm sure. If you let these things get to you - as I do, I apologise - then it's not going to work at any step of the way.

After Vivah I needed an anti-dote. Curiously, I turned to one of my favourite Tamil films, Pithamagan, for a completely different reason - I just wanted to rewatch it. But as I began rewatching, it hit me - this was it! My perfect Vivah-antidote.



Pithamagan, directed by Bala, tells a story of a boy who was born and raised in the cemetary. Chitthan grows up secluded and doesn't learn human communication, apart from funeral hymns. When he finally wanders out into the real world, he naturally finds himself in a lot of trouble. The film is grim, realistic and portrays the world of criminals and outcasts. Chitthan is played by my favourite Tamil actor, the versatile and unmistakably charming Vikram, who won the National Award for his performance in the movie.

Chitthan is helped out by a jolly fraud (420) named Sakhti, played by another favourite of mine, Surya. Sakhti has a romantic storyline with a college student named Manju (played by the sweetfaced Laila), whose money he successfully cons. She does not take it lightly, however, throwing an absolute fit after losing her money and some of her belongings, and later when she runs into him on the train, she raises all kinds of hell.

Manju is my Poonam-antidote (Poonam is the character who Amrita Rao played in Vivah). She's not the perfect spunky heroine - she's actually quite over-the-top, throwing exaggerated fits when she gets angry, but in the end she is what she needs to be to match Sakhti. He's a criminal, a charming one but not really a very nice guy, and for whatever he did, she's the only person who's not letting him get away, no chance in hell. She even stands up to her father no problem. Manju is quite a firecracker, sure of herself to a flaw, but I love her for that. Whereas some Indian film heroines would get beaten down and stay down, perhaps weeping silently for their pain, Manju would scream her lungs out, then get up, chase whoever beat her down and do her best to beat him down, as well. Whether smart or not, I love her guts!

The way the romance eventually develops is not something I'm extremely fond of - I will not say more as not to spoil anybody - but it does fit into the harsh reality of the film. That Sakhti, deep down a good person, could actually not be good at all, and that Manju, who stands so proudly against whatever stands in her way, could easily be struck down by the evil that exists in the world.

Luckily Manju stays as she is despite the peculiar plot vehicle, full of life and character.


There's a lot of other things to be said about Pithamagan, too, but I'll leave that for another rewatch, and another post. The above image is from another Laila movie, Dhill, not as impressive but I just love her eyes whenever she smiles and feel the post could use a bit of cheering up (as could I, after finishing Pithamagan just now).