IFAC #19: The obligatory Analytics post.

Every blogspot blogger loves Google Analytics, because to find out what people search for to end up on our blogs is hilarious. I've often mentioned these hilarious searches to people over IM but never made the obligatory "search key words" post. So here it is, get ready!

1. "haiku of farhan khan"

Um.. Either they mean Farah Khan or Farhan Akhtar. Since the latter one inspires more poetry in me, I'll freestyle a haiku. However, as it so happens, I don't really know how syllables work in English and haiku-ing in Finnish is easier so I'll just do that.

voi Farhan mä en
nimeäsi hämmennä
lohi sukeltaa.

Translation: Oh Farhan, I don't / confuse your name / the salmon dives.

2. "cultural proximity in kabhi kushi kabhi gham"

Hot damn, them's big words. While I wish I was able to pick apart KJo's films using such interesting terminology, I kind of don't have the interest, so ..sorry!

3. "im white but like bollywood movies"

Um. You're not alone?

4. "look a shiny thing"

Sorry, not much sparkle here! Unless you find Indian films shiny, which I personally do.

5. "purab kohli wife"

Dude, if I was his wife, I would not spend my days blogging about films. Or maybe I would, but I would also keep a secret blog secretively titled "HOLY SHIT you guys I am Purab Kohli's wife how did my life get this awesome?!".

Disclaimer: I don't know if Purab Kohli has a wife, and if he does, I mean no disrespect to his wife by the above paragraph. I'm sure if she exists, she has better things to do than keep a blog. As would I, if I was really his wife.. God this paragraph is getting creepier than the last one, I better stop writing it.

6. "what is it called when they dance at the end of indian movies"

I think it's just called a dance at the end of a movie. If it's during the credits and obviously has nothing to do with the film, it could be a promotional song. Why am I answering a random Googler's question seriously?

7. "why did they dance slumdog millionaire"

I bet this and the person before are the same guy. Sigh. Listen, dude. Boyle came to India and worked with a lot of Indians and probably got an idea to end his movie off with a dance sequence in "Bollywood style" even though it wasn't really Bollywood style because Bollywood films rarely end on an elaborate song and dance sequence because audiences in Indian theaters typically start leaving when they know how the movie ends and don't stick around for the credits. It's just a little homage. It's no big deal in the context of Slumdog.

8. "mullet dance"

Nobody wants to see a mullet dance, yaar. Unless it's at the end of Slumdog Millionaire, in which case I would know Danny Boyle really knew his Indian films..

9. "manpain definition"

Angsty dudes. Come to think of it, I don't use this often enough to have it in my intro post's glossary. Shame, self, shame.

10. "saif"

Short and simple. I hope he had "SaifSearch" turned on! Ha ha ha -- oh forget it.

Ajeev lagta hai, or: more NIF experiences.

I haven't really been watching Indian movies in the past two weeks or so. Correction: I haven't really been watching new Indian films as of late, even with my awesome pile of Southie flicks and my existing pile of unwatched Hindi DVD's. Instead, I've been keeping my NIF friends on a steady diet. Here's what we've watched.

Rock On!! was sadly overshadowed by the presence of the brand new puppy my friend had gotten. The little thing was running around, biting and being chaotic as puppies usually are, and so the brilliant story-telling of the film was constantly taking a back seat to what was happening in the room. But nevertheless, they did see the film, and did enjoy the soundtrack.. Though again, with mixed success; one friend noted during Socha hai, "That dude can't sing", but the other one liked it enough.

There were no comments on the hotness of Farhan, but there was praise on Purab Kohli's comedic skills. Go Purab!


I brought over three DVD's with nothing in common except they're all favourites of mine that I wouldn't mind re-watching: Jab We Met, Dhool and Dharam-Veer. I introduced them to the audience. "This is romantic & awesome, this one has Anniyan Man in it, this one's got everything from samurai's to midgets to gypsies to pirates." One friend said romantic fluff, the other wanted brainmelting midgets and samurais. We rock-paper-scissors it, and Dharam-Veer won. The JWM-supporter friend started whining - she was tired, it'd been a long day, all she wanted was something relaxing and fun to watch. I tried arguing the merits of D-V; it was perfect "turn your brains off" fun! It was masala from the 1970's, for crying out loud,

D-V went into the DVD player, but you've probably already guessed the outcome; after non-stop whinging from Friend #1, Friend #2 succumbed and we turned back to JWM.

Shahid got the honor of being compared to a successful literary character: "He looks like Harry Potter." We giggled over the Harry Potter analogy throughout the first half, and Friend #2 groaned when Shahid begins singing on the bus. "Like you didn't know this was coming!" I old her.

Views on Kareena differed. Friend #2 thought she was "one annoying lady" while Friend #1 said, after the film, "I usually dislike the girls in Bollywood films, but I really liked this one!". Don't worry, Geet, at least you made one new fan!

Emotional appeal was established, probably for the first time since our viewing of Rang De Basanti - Friend #1 admited to getting teary-eyed during one of the heart-string tugging scenes. I consider this one an overall success.

Another evening, another film, and while I love Dhool to pieces, even after this umpteenth rewatch of it, it didn't reach the glorious levels of WTF that Anniyan did, and therefore left my friends a little cold. The songs were appreciated (though perhaps "Kundu kundu" a bit too brainmelting for Friend #2), but the typical "hero-against-corruption" didn't really engage my friends enough for them to truly appreciate the film.

Nevertheless, Friend #1 admitted she was warming up to Vikram's looks and that's good enough for me.

The pseudohistorical crackfest known as Dharam-Veer I watched together with Friend #1, Friend #2 being out of town (god, I really have to come up with better nicknames for them if I continue to write about our filmi sessions on this blog!). This time, the moment just wasn't right. The first half of the movie went swimmingly, my friend fearing constantly a Dharmendra up-skirt shot, which seemed to come around the corner but never (thankfully) did and us snarking the brilliant costuming in the film, and of course, the Wonder Bird Sheroo.

But as the movie continued, the complex, convoluted - maybe slightly stretched-out - plot began to bore me and my friend. The first two times I'd seen the film, I'd loved it to bits. Perhaps it was just the hour of the evening, the stress of the upcoming week creeping up to both of us.. Don't know. I still love the movie as ever, but I suppose it just isn't as tight in terms of direction as I'd want it to be. Then again, maybe Manmohan Desai films never are.


So, that's NIF Story Hour for this time.. I think my friends have had an overload of Hindi/Tamil films for now, but next time I'm considering showing them Nuvvostanante Nenoddantana, Jhoom Barabar Jhoom or Duplicate. Best keep it light.

Why is the sky blue, why is Farhan Akhtar perfect? Rock On!! review, now with bonus fangirlism.

Dear Mrs. Farhan Akhtar,

It's not in my right to speculate how your marriage came into being nor does it feel right to try and hunt down that piece of information via Google or otherwise. Regardless, I'd just want to congratulate you and wish you a lasting and wonderful marriage and life.

Yours sincerely,

veracious

PS. You do know that there are about a billion women on this earth who are incredibly jealous of your position?

PS. He named your second kid Akira?! Ohmygod. I bet you'd hate him if he wasn't so completely awesome.


So yeah. I watched Rock On!! and despite all the hype surrounding it, I wasn't the least bit disappointed. Of course it deals with a number of rock film clichés, and you have a pretty good idea of what's going to happen, but regardless of that, while watching, I was just sucked in by the story-telling and the clever-not-too-clever narrative and the solid performances all around.

It says something about 2008 as a filmi year, I suppose, that I honestly think this could be my favourite film of the year so far. Fine, there's a ton of films I've missed but even the ones I've liked and bought on DVD, or considered buying on DVD, have been "just okay" as film experiences. I've liked a film, really liked a film, but only Rock On!! has been a film I've *loved*.

Part of what makes the story work so well is the relative realism and lack of over-dramatization of situations and people. You know, there's a few nasty people in the film but they're not portrayed as complete villains. At the core, the emotions are real and present, however, and I especially liked Prachi Desai as Shakhi, wife of Aditya (Farhan Akhtar), who begins to unravel the mystery of the man she married and sets things in motion. The scenes of confrontation between her and him were also the key moments when I realized that Farhan is as capable an actor as he is a director.

At the same time, the film is keen on some filminess, and so certain improbable moments don't make you groan at their impossibility, but rather cherish them.

The soundtrack is of course made by the true rockstars of India, Shankar-Ehsan-Loy, and it's a solid rock record, though I did find myself wishing they'd break Bollywood pattern and showcase some genuine desirock bands on the record as well. Farhan's voice fits the songs and while the lyrics aren't made of deep world-altering thoughts, they're lovely. It backs up the film's central idea of rock ; as a fun way of self-expression, free of rules and regulations of more classical music. In the West, progress has lead to unpleasant phenomenons like rock elitism and categorization of music into every sub-genre imaginable. Rock On!! portrays a pure, simple view of rock that some fans of the music genre would snort at but I personally embrace. It's what rock should be - picking up an instrument and learning how to play it just for the fun of it, playing in a band because it adds something to your life.

Besides liking Arjun Rampal (who's been great in everything I've seen him recently - even if most of what I've seen have been small side roles in films like OSO, KANK, Don..), I couldn't put my finger on where I'd seen Purab Kohli (who played KD) before. Then it hit me. He was Nigel in the wonderful Onir film My Brother Nikhil. He was just ace here.

It seems sort of silly to say "a movie you don't want to miss out on", but I know how we Bollywood fans are - sometimes only keeping our eye on the big budget entertainers with truckloads of stars and glamour in them. So give this film a chance, you guys. Farhan is great (and easy on the eyes), the rest of the cast is great, the music is catchy and the story wonderful. Out on DVD now!