Cheating on the viewer; heroine switches in Pournami & Indra.

The last time I discussed the Chiranjeevi starrer Indra, I focused on what made it a quintessential Southie (in this case meaning Telugu/Tamil) mainstream masala flick. Pious, god-like heroes, colourful picturizations, handful of villains and a buckets of social justice - to name some of the ingredients. What I didn't talk about extensively is what annoyed me about the movie, as much as I liked it.

But now I will, because I happened to run into the same phenomenon in another Telugu movie I saw.

You see, Indra's first half features plenty of comedy hijinks that come from Sonali Bendre's character pursuing Chiranjeevi's. It's funny, it's cute, it makes you actually buy into Chiranjeevi as a romantic hero and all is fine in the universe.

But come second half and we find out that the other heroine, played by Arthi Agarwal, as evil as she might look, is not necessarily so. In fact, she is indeed a heroine -- the 2nd heroine! Who also loves Chiranjeevi!

For those of us coming off a steady diet of Bollywood films, where it's usually clear from the get go who's going to end up with who, or at least there's certainty that love triangles are solved for the best, Indra throws a total curveball. You've got two heroines, fighting over one hero and the hero isn't really showing any signs of romantic interest towards either.

When you watch the film, it's not like you're surprised; social justice, saving the world one village at a time, slaying one corrupt politician at a time, these things are what's important to our hero. Not the ladies he romances (or doesn't romance, as can it really be called that when his heart isn't really in it?). Look, I'm not saying he has to get with either heroine but surely he can love one woman as much as he loves social justice? No?

No?

Fine, Chiru, you're the Megastar, not me, and it is your film. So I'll move on to ...

Pournami, a Prabhu Deva direction that talks about love, dance, revenge, tradition and ..well, mostly just dance to be honest. Starring Prabhas, who is a new acquintance to me but who I definitely like as Shivakesama, who enters a little town to open a dance school. Co-starring is Charmme, who I also really enjoy watching, as the girl who is not very fond of him, but who falls in love with him despite herself (no surprises there).

Of course, now that I search for images of the film, all of them feature Trisha -- playing a character who only really features on the second half of the film. I went in blissfully unaware that the film's pairing was being promoted as Prabhas and Trisha, not Prabhas and Charmme.

I have smart readers, so you know where I'm going with this. I start watching the movie, slowly beginning the root for Charmme and Prabhas' characters to end up together and then the movie pulls the rug from beneath me. Then it's all Trisha, all the time, and to make matters worse, she's wooden and her character is more bland than a brown paper bag spiced with oatmeal. And of course it is shown that Prabhas' character in fact prefers her over the wonderfully lively Charmme. At least Chiru in Indra was nonchalant towards both!

You could ask, "But who the heck cares? The main story's about something else anyway!" and you'd have a point. But I care, because if we want to believe films are about stories, then those stories are about characters. And I have to be able to sink my teeth into those characters, feel as they feel, journey as they journey. When something like the heroine switch happens, it feels emotionally dishonest. You build up to something, and then you reveal the initial heroine was just a chess piece, or both the heroines are chess pieces for the plot and there's nothing to them, and that just gets on my nerves. A lot.

But I really do hate to rag on this movie because right up to Trisha's appearance, it was nailing everything for me. The songs, the dancing, Charmme's acting, Prabhas' acting, the comedy, the action.. Everything had me on board and I really enjoyed watching. Now, the movie doesn't completely lose momentum, and the finale is actually pretty incredible to watch, but these sort of major irks always make me question my liking of a movie.

But as I said before, this is one type of masala hero; the kind who doesn't have even one ounce of selfishness in him, so naturally he doesn't even have the mindframe to think selfishly when it comes to love.

And maybe it's just my individualist, Western viewpoint, because I really do understand where these sorts of heroes come from and I can enjoy them a lot on-screen despite the fact that the movies sometimes feature these things that annoy me. I understand why Indian audiences would welcome heroes who put the interests of the communities they live in ahead of their own personal desires, as well as love stories where mutual respect and admiration is more valuable than actual romantic love.

All the same, I can't help but (wistfully) think about some of the movies where the hero is oh-so-good, kicks unholy amounts of butt and really really likes the heroine. Like my favourite Tamil film Dhool (discussed here), where you have two heroines but you also know exactly who the hero likes better from the get-go.

I am not a bitter person, though, and will definitely watching more of both Chiranjeevi and Prabhas. Hit me with your recommendations - I know for Prabhas I was recommended a film called Chatrapathi, probably my next Telugu watch.

Indra: a study in South Indian masala.

Sorry for the silence. I've been too busy stressing out, the kind of stressing where you're so busy stressing you fail to get anything done; both the things you should do and the things you'd like to instead of doing what you have to, like watching Southie films on a Saturday evening, sipping cocoa. Luckily, I managed to do just that this past weekend. And thus, a review.

Indra is a great example of a well-done Southie masala of the Telugu variety from 2002. I'm of course no expert and should not be counted as one, but based on the 30 odd Southie films I've seen, I'd say this one has all the post-millennial Southie masala trademark features.

First things first. You have to understand that if you think hero characters in Bollywood are glorified, you haven't seen anything close to the glorification Southie heroes recieve. The star - I'm sorry, Megastar - of this flick is of course Chiranjeevi, a Telugu powerhouse of an actor, and the character he plays is as close to a god as one man may get. He is so virtuous, pious, devoted to his family, forgiving, kind, cool, manly, down-to-earth and badass words cannot describe it. He is a god among men, and other characters are sure to point this out, but our blessed hero, being so noble and humble as he is, will deny this 'til the end of the world.

And I know you Bollywood fans are thinking, "What, that guy? Hairy, pudgy, old? I could barely buy Hrithik as a badass in D:2!" but for the millions of fans who adore him, all these Bollywood pretty boys Chiru could have for breakfast, but he doesn't. That's how good of a man he is.

Well, I'll just say it now. Sure, a lot of these Southie guys aren't exactly hunks. But what a great many of them achieve is stunning acting and charisma that wins over even the most shallow of viewers.

With the hero, there must be a heroine; a yin to his yang.

For Indra, it is the gorgeous Sonali Bendre. She falls in love with Chiru's character because God made them destined for each other and she works her way into his life and sexually harrasses him in a series of hilarious scenes that would be downright creepy if it was the other way around. Bless double standards! This is not always how love tracks work in Southie masalas. Often, there's bickering. Sometimes the hero yells at the heroine and that's why she falls in love with him. Yeah, go figure. But quite often, there's bickering.

Prakash Raj aka The Awesomest Southie Daddy Role Actor Ever plays Sonali's papa, who speaks in Hindi sometimes because they're from Hyderabad and of course vehemently disagrees with her intentions with Chiru, but will eventually come to know what an amazing soul he is.

Other notable sidecharacter is Chiru's niece, who he looks after, and is most devoted to, even though he totally messes up her chance to shine in a singing competition in one scene, but really it actually only helped her, because he's just that amazing! He kicks a puppy and it turns into a rainbow!

And of course: The Comedian. Usually unpleasant-looking (read: ugly), sometimes actually funny! In Telugu films the only guy I've seen has been this dude, called Sunil, who usually makes sardonic comments about the actions of other characters, in this film mainly the villains. Occasionally comedy tracks are completely separate from the actual storyline, or very loosely tied, like say the comedian's character is a friend of the hero or an uncle of the heroine, and they have a funny profession and they just go around doing their schtick in-between scenes of romance, plot and ass-whooping.

Oh yeah, the plot .. and ass-whooping! As you can imagine, if people as amazing as the hero exist, there has to be an anti-thesis to that amazingness. And that's where the villain comes in, and the plot, where you know, the hero tried to play nice but the villain wouldn't have it and thus, whoopass. Or the hero asked "please, stop being corrupt and evil" but the villain wouldn't, and therefore, whoopass. Or the hero was like, "to hell with this, I know you're evil - here's some whoopass".

I don't normally screencap whoopass (kickass, action, dishoom-dishoom, fight scenes, however you like to phrase it) because there's not much to screencap. It's martial arts influenced stuff, usually 100 guys with weapons (sticks, pipes, hands-on stuff, usually no guns) coming at the hero who is bare-knuckled but ready to take it. But it should be noted they're a large part of the masala mix. As is family drama, engagements that fail to realize themselves into marriages (causing trauma to all parties involved, except if one of the parties is evil, which it usually is), revenge. All that good stuff.

Let's talk about Must Have Songs.

1. The Colour Song - This is some creative stuff, you guys. You take your stars, put them in clothes of the same colour scheme, put some extras in clothes of the same colour scheme, only a million times uglier, make them dance in surroundings of the similar colour scheme and then .. wait for it ... you do the same thing, but with a different colour!

"No way!" you might say. "There's no way that can ever work!"

I know, it's amazing. But it works. Every.damn.time.

And so we have blue/violet...

White/white.. (It's upside-down world where nothing goes with white except white! Shimmery white! And Chiranjeevi is enjoying Sonali's rearview way too much.)

Green/yellow..

And red/fuschia! That's it, we've made a song picturization, you guys! And they said it couldn't be done without black. We sure showed them.

2. Switzerland Song - "Too 90's!" you may cry out, but shush, ye o' little faith. Switzerland is always hip and pop and exotic. I can't get enough! And neither can those suburban Swiss who drive to work one Tuesday only to find two Indian stars pulling corny dance moves in front of their house. I can't imagine a better feeling.

Even parking halls make for great locations. As long as you have rhythm in your blood, you're good to go. And Chiranjeevi definitely does (because in all seriousness, the man can dance).

But whatever you do, please don't include embarrassingly pale white ladies into your dance routines. It's cringeworthy. Every.damn.time.

3. Earthy Song-and-Dance in the Middle of an Ordinary Street, to Demonstrate How Ordinary and Down-to-Earth and Common Man the Hero is, Despite Being Amazing and Godlike in Nearly Every Aspect of His Being - ..well, that about sums it up.

4. Switzerland: The Re-Imagining Song - You paid for the plane tickets and shooting permits to come over there, so why not stay to film another song? This time, spice it up a little. Secondary heroine, Chiranjeevi in mind-bogglingly awful Hawai'i shirts, field of flowers instead of urban locales. Fantastic! Song wrapped, back to the plane and Andra Pradesh!

5. Obligatory Expensive Set Which We Paid For So We Might As Well Use It Song - I absolutely adore these when it comes to Southie films but I always feel a bit sad.. Couldn't they re-use these sets somehow? Do they all get demolished after the shiny-suited background dancers and the crew go home?

There's a bunch of things I left out, like exploration of hero's background (hero as a kid scenes), Obligatory Raunchy Song Lyrics, when the hero dies but not really, when the villain's surprise twin appears, etc etc.

As far as Indra itself goes, I really liked it, especially during the first half. I look forward to watching Tagore with Chiranjeevi later. The second half got a bit too heavy on the family enmities and the most dragged out ending full of ass-whooping, but I enjoyed it despite.

Final note?

Prakash Raj, I love you.