A month in India, part 4: Dhoom 3 on Dhoom Day, Kolkata.

If Indian film promotion is a hurricane, then the first 10 days of our time in India were spent in the eye of the storm known as Dhoom 3. This was not a thing you could avoid, from Kolkata's metro platforms to the road crossing near our hotel, where a bowler hat-wearing Aamir Khan gazed over us. Promos on TV, posters on walls, advertisements on our morning papers - we saw it all.

And yet, we didn't mind one bit. This was the craze we'd signed up for - this was the movie that would be descending on India, and we knew precisely what we were in for. We smiled at every piece of gross, over-exposed piece of promotion we ran into, I worried over one restaurant supper whether we'd make it in time to catch Aamir's Koffee with Karan episode in the hotel room (which I got to watch and it was a blast). There probably should've been a moment where one went, "Okay, enough with this Dhoom 3 already!" and yet there kind of never was? We ate it up, eagerly.

In an ironic twist, perhaps, we watched the megalomaniac Bollywood big budget blockbuster in the city of art cinema, Kolkata, at a southern Kolkata multiplex called London Paris ("Just like home, eh?" I asked my Londoner friend). The tickets were the most expensive movie tickets we'd ever bought in India, 350 rupees each, but the seats reclined nicely, the atmosphere was excellent, and this was the opening Friday night, so one could expect to pay a premium (and compared to Finnish movie ticket prices, this was peanuts).

So what about the actual film itself? The glorious sequel to the maddest madcap action film series the world has ever seen? (And yes, the Fast and the Furious films are quite madcap as well, but they never had Vin Diesel dressing up as the Queen of England, so I think Dhoom still wins over its original inspiration.) Well, this was, in many ways, a very loyal sequel to the previous two. The villain still gets center stage, and any badassery and action sequences that Jai and Ali (Abhishek Bachchan and Uday Chopra, respectively) receive is almost like a pity hand-out, because it's not quite a Dhoom movie without them, and yet you get the sense that both of the sequels have kind of wished they could let these two characters go already. The women are still ludicrously under-written or just plain ludicrous, and mostly there to show off some skin, and dance in some songs. The action is reaching new heights, or new laws of physics.

And yet Dhoom 3 is different. It contains an emotional heart that doesn't quite sit with everything that's been wrapped around it - the formula, that is. It has a central performance that simultaneously makes you gasp in awe and then squirm in discomfort. It was a love story that is criminally (pun intended) underwritten and yet quite sweet. It falls somewhat short on the chemistry between Jai and the villain, which was largely the tentpole that held up the previous two films, but it's still good - replacing this is a chemistry between, well, two other leads.

The soundtrack is a winner from top to bottom, at least in my books. The tap dance spin on the Dhoom Machale number seems gimmicky but sounds and looks legitimately awesome, the circus picturization of Malang is just stunning, and Tu Hi Junoon is a winner all the way. Of course, my love for these songs is peppered by the nostalgia of hearing them during the trip, seeing all of those promos pop up here and there, plus the fact that these are absolutely amazing picturizations to be watched on the big screen.

Dhoom films will always defy logic and be considered as bad by some as they are considered amazing by others. As much as I try to rate these films in a sphere of their own, not to be compared or contrasted against any other films but each other, I can't help but feel that what I told my friend, walking to a Bengali restaurant after the movie, is very true: "This was the most amazing bad movie I have ever seen. Loved it. Will hear nothing bad against it." And yet something bad is precisely what I'm about to voice about it.

Even in the conventional masala madcap forgiveness, one has to forgive Dhoom 3 for a lot of things. Its attempts at being so so cool undercut its desire to be a legitimately good movie with an emotional core. The way it ignores Katrina Kaif's character for most of the movie, barely giving her any lines, barely ever giving her an actual characterisation, only hampers the story as a whole. While Ali's Mumbaiyya lines brought some people in the audience to tears with laughter, many others in the audience, including myself, remained stoic and didn't bite. As slick as it is, as wild as it is, as good (and as bad) as Aamir Khan's performance is, the fact remains it just isn't as good as it could be.

And yet, it's absolutely fantastic, without a doubt my favourite of the film series, and the sole Dhoom film I'll be glad to own on DVD. You should probably see it, for many a reason, and expect nothing, and expect everything, and know that when back in the day some of us theorised about what kind of a Dhoom film they'd have to make to convince Aamir Khan to join it, we didn't quite know it would be this epic a result.

Talaash: when is a slow reveal too slow?

Had it been released any other year, Talaash would've probably been the best film of the year. Lucky for us the audience, the year was 2012, which gave us another excellent Hindi mystery thriller, Kahaani. It's difficult not to talk about the two films in conjunction with one another, as they both involve an urban setting, a main character trying to piece together what seems like an unsolvable mystery, a plot twist and attempt to hood-wink the audience into not seeing that twist coming. They're also both films you're best knowing the most minimal amount of premise, going in.

So here's what I'll say about the plot - things you can piece together from the first trailers, which hit the internet about a year ago: a man drives off into the sea on an entire empty road, for no apparent reason. A police man (Aamir Khan) tries to piece together what happened, while growing distant from his wife (Rani Mukherjee) and running into the lady of the night, Rosie (Kareena Kapoor), who helps him try to solve the mystery.

I will try to discuss the film without revealing spoilers, but you're very sensitive to this sort of thing (I know I am!), you may want to stop reading now.

Talaash is a finely made movie with competent direction, littered with strong performances (from the heart-wrenching one from Rani Mukherjee to the crooked yet sympathetic character portrayed by Nawazuddin Siddiqui). It's definitely a step up from Reema Kagti's debut, Honeymoon Tavels Pvt Ltd, which was adorable but not too ambitious. As such, it's hard to phrase why the film doesn't really make it into my favourites. It's got so many things going for it, from the performances to the themes it portrays (which I cannot really discuss without going into spoilers), to the excellent cinematography. Going into it, I didn't know much, but I was expecting a lot - that's what tends to happen when three of one's favourites are shoved into the same film, with a promising premise. I'm not quite sure if the film delivered on all the things I really wanted it to.

I suppose one factor was the relatively slow pace of the middle third of the film. As a viewer, you're trying to put together the same mystery Aamir's Surjan is attempting to solve, but coming up with very little. I wasn't really at my sharpest when watching, so perhaps I could've seen the twist coming, had I concentrated a little more, but by the time the film got to its half-way mark, I found myself as frustrated as Surjan seemed to be. Things just weren't adding up in a satisfying manner, and the film began to feel a bit boring. I was fine with the twist, when it arrived - it seemed strangely fitting, and I didn't mind the aspect it added to the film. I figured it out, I suspect, exactly at the moment the director wanted me to figure it out, considerably before Surjan does, but not so early as to ruin the discovery.

So what I was left with was "just" a good film. When put up next to the crop of other good films, Talaash definitely stands out as a good film, but not so overwhelmingly strong that I'd say I loved it. I also wasn't so personally moved by as to call it a favourite. But worth seeing, especially if you like any of the three big stars in the main cast? Absolutely. 

Aamir Khan, the chocolate hero: a tiny retrospective.

All the pictures from this post are sourced from the wonderful tumblr titled umbartha - not sure where the runner of said blog gets all the magnificent scans but the place is well worth visiting, tons of gorgeous 90's-80's Hindi film stars, as well as amusing fashion and rare photographs. 

There's been a lot of mischaracterizations of Aamir Khan going around in the past half a decade or so, during the entire time I've been consuming these wonderful films. I've always known Aamir better as the post-Dil Chahta Hai Aamir, the one who meticulously pours over details of the stories, gets deep into method acting, rehearses and who is rumoured to hang over his directors' shoulder, ghost-directing the films he stars in. He's been called a snob, a perfectionist, a meddler, a holier-than-thou figure. 

I usually scoff at these accusations, because even if Aamir's genuine character hadn't convinced me in interviews, it's not like Fanaa or Ghajini are high-minded art films - they're entertainment, and not even flawless scripts, far from it. 

Whatever the case may be, though, there's another version of Aamir that I've only discovered in retrospect - the young, fresh-faced Aamir Khan.

Aamir the chocolate hero seems to have done the same kind of romantic films, comedies and family dramas that most stars did in the 90's. A lot of the films are of course classics, from his debut with Juhi Chawla in Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak to the Ram Gopal Varma direction, Rangeela. Then there's the comedy classic and one of my all-time favourites, Andaz Apna Apna (featured on many posts in this blog, but primarily in this post) and Raja Hindustani, a romantic classic despite some questionable infant-handling.

I interrupt this post to take note that yes, in the above picture, Aamir is in fact dressed like a pirate.

Let us savour this for a moment.

Good, now we can continue on..

There were a lot of bad films, too, and a lot of films that are memorable but perhaps a bit dated. Would anybody remember Ghulam had it not been for "Aati kya Khandala?" - probably not. Then there's trainwrecks like Ishq, that some people, like me, just won't let die in its sad infamy.

And nobody's asking why Parampara wasn't on most people's "best of Yash Chopra" lists..

But like this outfit, Aamir didn't stop, and then we got to gems like Earth 1947 and Lagaan, DCH etc. There's still plenty of Aamir's 90's filmography that I've not seen - partly because I've not heard good things, and partly because I felt like I'd seen all of the must-see flicks from that era of his career. 

Still, I'm always open to recommendations, especially as Aamir is definitely a favourite, so if you've got any, send them my way!

I especially like this shot of Aamir looking pensively off into the distance, next to a collage of director Guru Dutt's film stills. I am not making a comparison between the two, but I wouldn't be surprised if film makers like Guru Dutt inspired Aamir to move his career into pretty risky ventures, starting with Lagaan. I do like the fact that Aamir played his own part in changing what mainstream Hindi cinema would be in the first decade of the new millennium, shaping it partly with his own choices in films, partly in choosing to go into directing as well. 

Our chocolate hero moved on.

And will be in Dhoom 3 next year, proving that he's definitely still swimming in the mainstream, and not as much against the tide as his detractors like to believe.

Spare a thought for Ishq.

Ah, Ishq. You are the most entertaining bad film ever, or a hot mess that's a tragic wasted opportunity considering the talented, likable cast - depending on who you ask. You're the worst of Anu Malik soundtracks, or the best example of an Anu Malik soundtrack - again, depending on the listener.

I'm in the camp of Ishq lovers, and unapologetically so. But as with any bad movie, to actually value it in that perverse The Room type of cult phenomenon type of way is just not on (I mean that in the sense that I've had people praise The Room to me as a pinnacle of film-making, like there's some kind of wild genius hidden in its badness). This is a bad film, superb in its badness, but not necessarily to be admired for that quality. A bad film is a bad film is a bad film. Some bad films just happen to be entertaining.

All the characters and events in Ishq are hysterical and over-the-top. The comedy of the first half, what with the ape driving the car and Juhi spreading tooth paste all over Aamir's face in a fit of anger, is just so out there you wonder how anybody thought it was a good idea. The songs are a constant joy; the first one, "Humko tumse pyaar hai" fits neatly into the weird category of pervy love songs that have picturisations like out of a horror film. "Ishq hua" is every 90's Bollywood love song cliché neatly squeezed into one package, with the kind of lyrics that didn't seem to take that much thought (ishq hua / kaise hua? / accha hua! / jaise hua! - congratulations, that's four rhymes worth of "hua"). "Neend churayi mera", the song picturized above, is a ripped off disco tune with some pretty cheesy dance moves, and of course, a villain trying to shoot our foursome of heroes.

And of course, there are just no words for "Mr Lova Lova" apart from this one: why?

Then there's the epic second half, where angst reaches heightened proportions, there's attempted suicide and some other really deeply messed up stuff. Again: hot mess of story-telling. And yet weirdly enjoyable.
I should probably do a proper write-up of Ishq, with screencaps and all. But for now, spare a thought for Ishq - if for nothing else, than for the fact that grave mistakes ought not be forgotten..

Hire me, Bollywood: Kiss of the Spider Woman re-imagining

Argentinian author Manuel Puig's novel "Kiss of the Spider Woman" (illustrated here by the novel's stylish Finnish translation cover art) draws a lot out of a simple premise: the dialogue between two prisoners, one a staunch communist activist and the other an effeminate gay man, forms almost the entirety of the novel. Valentin, the former, listens to Molina, the latter, tell him stories from old movies - through these re-tellings they discuss each other, life, politics and love.

The novel was perhaps the first to be told almost entirely through dialogue (with some official documents and footnotes relishing the story on the side), and it was later adapted into a stage version, that was then made into an Academy Award-winning film.

And after I finished reading and mulling this story over, I just thought to myself, "This would make a fantastic Indian film."

Why do I think it's so ripe for an Indian film remake? If you've read the novel, you know it packs a punch precisely because there is so much there to get into. The stories of the films tell us something about the character who narrates them; Molina is an escapist at heart, stuck in a world that doesn't accept him, but as the novel also shows, stuck inside these gendered misconceptions of both himself and the world around him. This kind of escapism is what forms a large part of the tradition of Indian films - the other reality where the corrupt politicians get beaten up by brave populist heroes, where the beautiful girl and the handsome boy fight adversity and find love despite their families' disapproval, the classic melodramatic heroines singing poetic tunes about their woes.. 

These kinds of aspects would find an easy translation into the films of Hindi film yore. Then there are things about the character that would obviously be different. Molina's identification with femininity means he might be categorised as a hijra in the Indian context. Or the character might be more closeted in terms of who he really is, and who he wants to be. 

Valentin, on the other hand, is the revolutionary, whose movement relies on secrecy, but who suddenly finds it impossible not to share some of himself with Molina. The two men form a bond - and without spoiling, it's safe to say this bond is not easily defined, especially given their unusual circumstances. Valentin seems haunted by doubts about his cause, and his constant reading of political literature seems to be partly due wanting to educate himself, but also to make sure he remains committed to his cause. 

India's history has no shortness of revolutionary movements, and at least in some states, the Maoist Naxalite movement has been seen as gaining prominence (as well as being classified a terrorist organisation by official authorities). So again, this would not necessarily be a difficult thing to transplant into the Indian context. 

In the novel, they get through many films - six according to some counts, seven according to others. In the film and stage version, they only delve deeply into one. On the page, scenes can whizz by when narrated, but in film, telling a story takes longer. But the narration of the films are integral to the story, not just because they form such a big part of it, but also because they cut into the differences between these two characters - Molina's melodramatic tastes in film reflect popular cinema, whereas communist Valentin's dismissal of certain films, certain scenes in them, seems to suggest an elitism. A really good director could form a story, a film within a film, with this narration, that would dig deep into this particular contrast between the two characters. The political v the non-political, the progressive v the socially conservative, the popular v the high-brow.

As for casting, well, if you want to aim big,  then why not aim the biggest? Aamir Khan as the brooding, uncertain Valentin, plagued by his past regrets but committed to his cause. Shahrukh Khan as the equally uncertain but only as fragile as he allows himself to be Molina, the narrator of the films that stir such emotions inside them both, the eternal escapist, unhappy in this world but with little desire to change it. For both stars, these would be bold roles, and fascinating characters to play; and of course, I am fantasy-casting like it's going out of style, here.

If you've not read this novel yet, do so, as I highly recommend it. I cannot speak about the strength of the English translation, as I read the novel in Finnish, but I assume it'd be worth it.

Only the truth prevails: Aamir's journey on the small screen.

It's not film-related, other than for Aamir Khan's presence and producer role, but I figured I'd talk about this anyway. Much to my delight, the first episode of "Satyamev Jayate" (the truth prevails) was put up on YouTube legally, for most people to see (I hear it's blocked in the US), and with good English subtitling to boot. Curious, I sat down to watch it.

Here is the link for your watching pleasure.

The first episode deals with sex selective abortions (often committed despite the mother's own wishes) and is pretty hard-hitting stuff. I'm sure some people will accuse this of being Aamir's vanity project, but he lets the people telling their stories get the centre stage, and talks to experts as well - there isn't much vanity to be seen here. While not perfect, the first episode seemed to be very good, informative and educational television - it tackles complex issues in a way that makes the viewer understand some of the complexity, but also that there is a very simple, humane solution. Aamir's unadulterated optimism and idealism shines through, but when it comes to such horrific things, it's precisely that hopeful attitude that allows one to digest it all. Some things are unfortunately not explored (connection to dowry, how gender inequality in general affects the issue), but what with the stories and the well-presented statistics, even an hour of running time goes by very fast.

I hear this first episode has raised the issue back to the national conscious, and hopefully some progress will happen because of it.

I have to say, while I understand the appeal of watching game shows that are hosted by film stars, though I never watched many myself (I think the Aamir episode of Salman's "Dus ka Dum" was the only one I sat through in full), I think this kind of more journalistic television is perfect fit for Aamir and I will continue following it. If you're interested in the same kind of issue-tackling television, I recommend you do the same.

A couple of initial thoughts on Dhobi Ghat.

I suppose it's fairly fitting that when I first tried to watch Dhobi Ghat, I was late and then, about 15 minutes into the film, the projector broke down. Over a year later, I finally get the film on DVD and begin watching again. The back of the DVD contains a lie: I'm watching a 97 minute film, expecting it to be roughly 178 minutes. So it's all a weird, splintered experience - first I just got a glimpse, and when I was finally getting into the characters, the projector died. Then I anticipated a longer story, and when the ending credits came up, I stared, puzzled, at my TV.

Of course, not the first time the back of the DVD has lied to me. Won't be the last, either.

Dhobi Ghat is a portrait of Mumbai, and four people in it. For a portrait of a city that at least has the appearance of constantly being in motion, this portrait is strangely still. A lot of time is spent on just surveying surroundings. A lot of it feels like that amazing cup of coffee on a Sunday morning that you sip, safe in the knowledge you don't have to be anywhere that day; you can just be. It's a languid film.

I certainly liked it, but I've yet to determine precisely how much. I enjoyed the way the four characters were varied - from the poor dhobi (washer) Munna played by Prateik, to the ultra-rich, educated NRI Shai (Monica Dogra), as this showed the dramatically different sides of the city. The jobs that Shai only sees as a sort of exotic tourist attraction that would make for good photographs, Munna actually does.

At first I thought about writing something about economic privilege and how it colours the film, and how it perhaps doesn't try to highlight the problematic aspects of it. Upon further thought, however, I realised it rather does, but the way it's portrayed, can be subtle. After scenes where Shai has begun to treat Munna as more of a friend, not a servant, we see him interact with Arun (the artist character played by Aamir Khan). To him, Munna's merely a servant. The difference hits the viewer uncomfortably in the face, even though Arun doesn't mean anything by it - it's just how things are. But the privilege of Shai doesn't disappear just because her and Munna get close. In fact, it only further highlights it.

While I was most fascinated by the story of Arun discovering the tapes of Yasmin (Kriti Malhotra), a middle-class housewife, brand new to marriage, the Shai-Munna story was much more revealing. Shai is basically the kind of character who in a different film would probably be the Bollywood heroine who'd eventually tone down her brat-like behaviour and become a Good Indian Woman for the hero to marry. In this film, however, you see her making choices that are frankly morally questionable. But she sails through life, where other people would run into bumps in the road, because of her privilege.

I want to say that the film achieved its goal, as it made me think about all of these things and more, but then I wonder - perhaps it had a more modest goal, of just throwing together some characters without flagging up that many questions in the viewer. As a debut film for director Kiran Rao, I wouldn't say it's impressive - it's well-made, and it's promising. I hope she delivers on some of that promise.

London times - No One Killed Jessica & just a smidgeon of Dhobi Ghat.

So I visited London a short while ago. As usual, this meant visiting the Ayngaran Video shop in Colliers Wood (which still has friendly staff and amazing deals! I cannot recommend it enough). I'll try to watch all the films I bought uncharacteristically fast and not let the DVD's lie around waiting for me to get to them, so expect a lot of Tamil goodness in this blog soon! But what was also great about visiting London was what is a rare treat for me - Bollywood in an actual movie theatre.

Unlike last time I visited the UK (last year May), I had better luck with what was running while I was over there. Sure there was Yamla Pagla Deewana or whatever the hell that film is called, which I very decidedly gave a miss in favour of No One Killed Jessica - a film I was curious about and had heard good things about, though hadn't actually read any reviews, professional or non.

I had a feeling I would like it and I certainly did. Now, being as out of the loop as I have in the past, uhh, I don't know, year or so?, it's hard to tell what the consensus on the film is in the world of Bollywood. When I later on met Daddy's Girl she told me that the reviews for the film hadn't been all that, which surprised me - I'd only seen praise, from Bolly-fanatics and not-so-much alike. I guess it just depends where you look.

NOKJ, for those unfamiliar, is a story that mixes fact and fiction about the death of Jessica Lal, who was shot in a crowded bar full of people but whose killer still went unconvicted for a long time (hence the title). The film's story focuses on two main characters, Jessica's sister Sabrina (Vidya Balan) and Meera (Rani Mukherji), a tough-as-nails journalist who at first ignores the case, believing it not to be worth her time, but eventually ends up working passionately to expose the authorities' mishandling of the case.

That's probably giving a way too much, to be honest. I went in not knowing anything and came out loving it. It was just a well-made movie, and a fantastic example of how a female character-driven film can work just as well as something hero-focused. Vidya Balan shone in the role, so much so I could feel the pain that her character felt, and found myself welling up constantly. I later wondered if I'd ever cried so much at a film. Then I realised I had, of course, wept myself silly at Paa (with also Vidya in it ..coincidence?). And Rani was also great, even if her character's sharp, bitchy edge could've been written a little less over-the-top. I am also just so happy she is doing these alternative types of roles, as opposed to the usual YRF fare. Mind you, I am one of the few who love her even in those fluff pieces, but she's a better actress than to limit herself to roles of that kind, and the self-assured, independent and career-minded Meera was just one of those performances that isn't going to be easily forgotten.

It's a film that tugs at the heart-strings in a massive way, has that lovely against-authority-power-to-the-people Rang De Basanti type of edge to boot and yeah, really enjoyed it. I hope this is a sign of things to come for 2011. Maybe if we get a ton of films as good as this one, I'll jump more actively on the Bollywood-train, because I've just been watching it go by for a really long while now (though I've always kept rewatching old favourites and suchlike).

Unfortunately, when I meant to go see Dhobi Ghat with Ros, luck was not on our side! First all of the trains in her direction were cancelled so she was late, then we went to the wrong screen, then we find the right screen and sit down to watch around 15 minutes of the film, only to have the projector break down so bad we get our tickets refunded. And this was basically my last day so I couldn't go see the film the next day. Based on what I saw, the film certainly looked interesting - Prateik (Babbar)'s looked like a promising performance, and we were just getting to the part where Aamir Khan's character starts figuring out what the tapes left at his new apartment were about. I enjoyed the low-key feel of the film and ...yeah, it was disappointing as hell, even as I got my money back from the £10.70 film tickets. I guess I'll wait for DVD?

Siiiiigh.

Anyway, I realise I really need to get on a move on with this blog! Expect a thinky (extremely!) analytical post on Chak De India which is based on an essay I wrote. I still haven't done my Filmi Year 2010 post because .. I feel like I really have not seen all the best films of 2010.

So let me throw this one out to you.. I've seen Striker, Housefull and ..uhh, really, self, is that it? I guess it is. I will DEFINITELY be checking out Dabangg, Baava and possibly Tere Bin Laden, Band Baaja Barat. In fact, I should go look all of those up on Nehaflix for my next Bolly-DVD order.

But anyway - what were your favourites of 2010? What would you recommend I see? (Knowing my tastes, as hopefully the regular readers do, if just a little.)

Ten reasons why aal izz well with 3 Idiots. (SPOILERS)

1. Get well soon, education system and students (and parents of students) of India. Just as with his previous films, with 3 Idiots (2009) Rajkumar Hirani manages to bring out a simple message and cushion his exploration with comedy, excellent performances. What emerges is a life-affirming comedy that has excellent pace, and not a single boring moment within it.

2. It's extremely relatable to those of us studying anything in an institution, even if it's the thing that we want to study. Hirani never takes the next step to ask, "But can I succeed in this thing that I enjoy?", success is taken for granted, but that's fine, because the core message is very important. I've read some people call the movie too sermonizing; I didn't think so at all. Though I do have some gripes..

3. Not a fan of toilet humor here (which there is plenty of), but even then I really enjoyed the comedy in this film. The laughs I get from the film are never belly-achingly riotous but just fun, cute and occasionally really clever.

4. I always knew Sharman Joshi was good but how good exactly surprised me in here. I like how his praying fervor is contrasted in his lack of faith in himself, his family and the pressures he puts on himself, and his acting in the jump scene.. heart-stopping. Wow.

5. I liked Aamir a lot, as I typically do, but I do wish Rancho had had a flaw or two, a setback of his own making. Or something like that. It's like Hirani forgot some of the best bits in LRM were the setbacks - and to see Munna emerge from them. Or better yet, give some of amazing Rancho's solutions to Farhan, who admires and learns a lot from Rancho. It'd make perfect sense.

But I did adore the twist a lot. I like the fact a boy assumed to be a millionaire's son is in fact that of a worker but later reaches those heights on his own.

6. The script was so polished and considered, it was great. The only scene where I began considering how it could've been done better is the baby delivery scene. Hirani on Beautiful People (first part here) said that he researched this scene thoroughly, and that's all fine enough, but something about the tone was still a little too unbelievable. Also, it bugged me the baby was not given to the mother after the birth..

6.5. The pre-interval twist with Javed Jaffrey!!! The ending twist!!! The kiss!! Such good stuff.

7. Kareena was in good form here. Even though ladies are always delegated to love interests in Hirani films, I enjoyed her character. Especially when she shows up drunk at the school's dormitory and when she reveals the truth about her brother's death to her father -- the latter scene made me tear up. Oh, and Zoobi Doobi! Funky song, loved it.

8. Ah, Maddy. (This is one of those films where the concentration of Veracious Favourites is so high I'm a tiny bit amazed.) I do wish the character had had more to do, but I liked him a lot all the same. Farhan spent most of the film being amazed by everything and anything Rancho did, but he also had chances to shine, like the scene where his father finally lets him do what he wants in life. I also like how convincing he actually was as a college student.

9. What I feel like is a great feat by any movie - overcoming prejudice of the viewer. I had prejudice about Aamir playing a college student (again) but even more I had prejudice about the phrase, "aal izz well". I'm not a fan of creative spelling, but even the spelling makes a point to me now that I know what kind of thought that phrase encapsulates. Spelling is a set of extra rules imposed on something that we all understand perfectly when spoken; whether written "is" or "izz", the phrase doesn't change meaning. So the spelling goes beyond convention but the meaning doesn't change -- in fact, knowing the context for this particular spelling, it only adds to the phrase.

10. Rajkumar Hirani films always seem to have this almost magical quality to them -- like they put their viewer back in touch with something you ever so often forget about yourself. Sure, they present "marshmallow philosophy" - sweet, soft, simple and melts when dropped into hot cocoa - and are very Chicken Soup for the Soul-like, but they're also an excellent pick-me-up and a way for me to check myself on my cynicism and lack of faith.

They are an excellent show that feel-good doesn't mean brainless, far from it. And that's why films like 3 Idiots are always in order.

Indian Film Advent Calendar #24: The one script to ..be completely disgarded.

Writing a plot outline to a successful Hindi film - how hard can it be? Armed with only some pictures and an imagination largely unused for the better part of this decade, I set to task.

This is going to be largely nonsensical, probably terrible and any resemblances to existing Hindi films are intentional and nonconsequential because nobody's going to make this, right? Right?! (All producers reading, if you're crazy enough to give me money - it is the season of giving in my part of the world! - the email is culling.songs@gmailDOTcom.)

The film is simply called - Paramparaparamparamparamparapa... bas! (short international title: P..b! or Pb or What, Are You Kidding Me? or Nobody Is Going to Ever Make/Watch This Movie). Our story takes place in an alternative historical universe, where India exists in a peculiar timewarp between our current world and ancient Mesopotamia. Only not really. Think Dharam-Veer, only less sensical, because historical accuracy has never been my strong point. But to make this wildly unique, the universe is entirely of its own. Anything can happen ..and does!

Aamir Khan plays Ram, a humble prince of The Royal Kingdom of Neo-India (the old one was run into the ground by an emperor played by Uday Chopra - there was a flashback scene of this but we cut it out ..instantly), who just want to drink Coke and find the love of his life. Little does he know that he is actually second-in-line to the throne, and separated at birth from his identical twin (yes! wait, what?)..

..Raju, played by Akshay Kumar. As you can see, Raju works as a humble mechanic nowadays, constantly covered in oil but not always wearing shirts. But for the sake of the censors and the health and safety of the audience, he does always keep his jeans buttoned up. Promise!


Raju was kidnapped as a baby by an evil witch Roberta (played by black-and-white-Helen, because with modern technology we can do that sort of stuff). After the witch passed away, her clumsy, evil son Robert (played by Akshaye Khanna) left Raju to live with a childless mechanic Girilal (played by ..uhh we'll figure it out later - he'll probably die a tragic death early on in order for Raju to feel a sense of loss and make sure he stands up to the evil that is the Kingdom).

But little does he know that Robert is still around! Doing ..something evil! Look at that evil grin! So evil!


So Raju loses his guardian and after wiping some of the excess motor oil - but not all, are you crazy? - he goes to the King (which are mostly just images of Prithviraj Kapoor from Mughal-e-Azam because we gotta save money somewhere!) and demands justice. Because, you know, if it weren't for the awful kingdom and their taxes and something something, his guardian Girilal would be still alive today! There he meets Ram, and the two brothers clash over the issue of oil costs. Stern political debate follows. Statistics are brought up. We'll probably cut that bit out.

To solve the issue, Ram has to go visit Raju's workshop and there he runs into..

Sita, Girilal's daughter whose mother passed away years ago. She has separated herself from the world of motor oil and instead writes poetry, helps sick children and models on occasion. You know, the usual. Ram naturally falls in love with her but disguises the fact by pretending to be a university friend of Raju's. Sita questions this because Raju never went to university. Ram explains this is the university of mechanics design and time travel. He demonstrates this by singins a song where they are transported to 1990's Switzerland. Sita is impressed and falls in love with him.

Meanwhile Robert plots something evil to overthrow the King and kill Ram. His initial plan of turning the 90's Switzerland in which Ram and Sita (hey, that sounds familiar -- maybe I'm just imagining things) have travelled to into a molten lava pit, but his actions are thwarted by ...

Satyajit, a magical angel (played by Shahrukh Khan), who has protected the twins (yes, really!) Ram and Raju and has since their birth. He was, however, at a wedding when the evil witch Roberta kidnapped Raju, but can you blame him? Who wants to miss out on a wedding? Free food, good music!

Raju, after having cleaned up most of the motor oil off and wearing a shirt, meanwhile is researching the price of oil at the National Library of The Royal Kingdom of Neo-India's Capital City Archives, where he runs into...


..a university student named Nisha (portrayed by Katrina Kaif). They debate the cost of motor oil and whether one is allowed to dog-ear library book pages. Nisha thinks it's perfectly acceptable, while Raju thinks it's sabotaging otherwise good books. They part ways in anger but can't get the arguments out of their minds.

And they probably fall in love, too. There's a song.

At the palace, the little sister of our heroes, Princess Ratnapriya (played by Raima Sen), has a problem of being courted by our terrible villain Robert and as if that's not enough, he has cast her under a spell to manipulate Ram into killing Raju. Ram, after falling in love with Raju's beautiful sister, however doesn't want to kill the man, as he is now forced to pretend their friends, which they are not. Comedy ensues. (Possibly. It might actually not be funny at all. If all fails, we'll do another time-travel scene.)

Satyajit the Angel - or as the audience calls him, Shahrukh - is observing the situation and making popcorn. There is a song sequence where he romances The Devil (played by Kajol), because we've got to draw people into theaters somehow, and borrowing a page from Karan Johar never killed anybody (if it has, please contact me immediately).

As luck should have it, and because if you think you're tired of reading this, I am far too tired of typing it, the Chancellor Daman (Boman Irani) who is like an advisor type person to the King finds a hankerchief that belongs to the evil witch Roberta at Raju's shop while visiting it to get a repair job on his scooter. This proves to Daman that Raju is indeed Rajeev, the missing prince who inexpicably ended up with a similar name under the guard of his former father-figure Girilal. He rushes to let Ram know of this discovery, but his attempt is thwarted by the evil Robert who challenges Daman into a game of internet karom, his only weakness.

Then Robert realizes he could've used magic and so he does, making Daman fall asleep against his keyboard.

Upon seeing this, Satyajit decides it's time to swing into angelic action, but he finds his hands tied - his powers are limited and he cannot tell the brothers that they are indeed brothers as him speaking would blow up their puny human minds. So he does what any good employee does - call his boss to ask how to deal with the situation.

So the Creator Of All Things, Yes, All Things (Rani Mukherjee) decides to some stuff needs to go down and fast.

And she employs all of her powers and sends her God Squad to help out Satyajit.

There's Goddess of Beauty (Deepika Padukone)...

..God of Gambling (Abhishek Bachchan)...

Goddess of Grace (Sharmila Tagore)

God of Non-chalance (Saif Ali Khan) and finally..

..Goddess of Dance (Hema Malini). You know, all the important ones. Obviously.

The God Squad is set to help Satyajit prevent the marriage between Princess Ratnapriya and Robert, which would allow him to directly get the throne after poisoning Ram and Raju at the wedding banquet (this is so why I never eat at weddings). During all this, Daman has woken up and is rushing to the palace to deliver the hankerchief that proofs the connection between Ram and Raju. But as the wedding festivities begin, Robert has one more ace up his sleeve not even the God of Gambling could've detected...

..as Robert has the power of black magic to summon Death Himself (Vinod Khanna), pictured here with his missus, the lovely Lady Deceit (Neetu Singh), to aid him in his wicked deeds.

As Death Himself and the God Squad do battle on the metaphysical realm (which looks a lot like the glorious fields of Punjab), Raju comes to terms with the fact that Ram is in love with his (sort of-)sister Sita, and the price of motor oil is still rising. However, after developing a deep affection for books, he has now decided to quit his mechanic business and go to university to get closer to Nisha.

Little does anybody know that Nisha too is of royal descent, and secretly the princess of 1990's Switzerland, who has decided to study in Neo-India in order to avoid being recognized.

Wedding festivities continue (there's a song or twelve - hey, it worked for HAHK!) and Daman finally reaches the palace with the hankerchief that proves the brothers to be brothers. The truth comes out just as Satyajit reveals the wedding banquet to be poisoned and Robert's mother to be the evil kidnapper of Raju. Robert breaks down, claiming he did all his evil actions because of love for his mother, who has now passed away. He releases Ratnapriya from his spell, but it turns out Satyajit had already done that, and Ratnapriya was truly in love with Robert, secretly hoping her love would redeem him and his evil past.

Robert begs the princes to allow him to make amends with himself and being as magnanimous as Ram and Raju are, both being so humble and noble human beings, they agree to this - but they banish Robert from the Kingdom and insist that he transport himself to 1970's Hindi film industry, which they've heard is a pretty cool place. Ratnapriya decides to go with him, because she's a huge fan of Amitabh Bachchan.

Death Himself leaves the scene unnoticed and instead of a wedding between Robert and Ratnapriya, the festivities continue celebrating the reunion of the brothers and their love for the young women they met during these amazing (well, sort of) adventures they had and of course, the lowering price of motor oil.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Especially Satyajit, who took permanent residence in 90's Switzerland, and met a pretty cool girl on Eurorail...

THE END.


This is the final Indian Film Advent Calendar post as it's now Christmas Eve. Happy Holidays to those who celebrate something during this time of year, have a great end of '09 for those who do not. Thanks for reading and not getting bored with these posts. It's been fun writing them!

Quickfire thoughts to fuel procrastination.

1. Kareena, if only you'd gotten your hands on this hottie during the 90's...

2. It's been brought to my attention that Wanted has several things I like, such as Prabhudeva in the director's seat, Vinod Khanna as a guest appearance and Prakash Dad as Prakash Something-other-than-Dad. As a result? Kind of dying to see the film now. Can't wait!

3. I finished watching Tum Haseen Main Jawaan on my brand new TV tonight. So, that movie was a little too crazy. Am I getting old?

4. Just make a movie together, guys. You know we want you to, we know you want to, and it'll satisfy Aamir's Shahrukh-hugging quota. Poor fella.

5. Abhishek and Aishwarya on Oprah. Question: why does anybody watch Oprah? Most pointless talk show ever. Superficial questions, short interviews, barely anything to them. Still, Abhishek's sense of humor salvaged the wreckage for me.

6. That TV show Psych's Bollywood episode: cute! Sendhil from Heroes got to actually do something! Not perfect (an Indian character mispronounced "Raj", come on now) but definitely a good effort.

7. And in a lieau of Bollywood-related things, America's Best Dance Crew's Bollywood challenge? The less said, the better. I dig this show a lot but it didn't mix. It just didn't.

8. I don't even remember which movie this picture is from but as it's named "ILUPRAKASHRAJ.jpg" (ILU = I love you), I guess so much needs to be said.

Mini-reviews, part char.

For new readers, this is basically a very convinient way for me to cover a big bunch of movies on this blog that I've seen but don't necessarily feel like like talking about at length. The list was randomized by an online randomizer, these are entries 31-40.

31. Chukkallo Chandrudu (2006) - One of Siddharth's short but quality list of youthful Telugu romcom's. He's written the story for this himself, romances three heroines while trying to pick who to go with, dances a bit in Germany, the usual. It's a fun movie but I tend to pick NVNV, Bommarillu or Aata over it. Still, the story is lovely and there's some awesome dancing - and guest appearances by Amitabh and Prabhu Deva!


32. Sharafat (1970) - Gorgeous Hema-Dharam jodi in one of their early films together, Hema plays a courtesan and has some awesome dance numbers. It's no mind-blowing stuff in terms of plot but for me, personally, it's memorable enough for the dancing. Discussed earlier here.

33. Thillana Mohanambal (1968) - Still the only Tamil oldie I've seen so far. Ironically, I really loved it and always wanted to see more but could never quite bring myself to just buy more Sivaji Ganesan films to sample some more oldie goodness. This one celebrates the art of Carnatic music and Bharatanatyam dancing, along with a love story and some awesome musical numbers.

34. Maa (1976) - Elephant elephant elephant. This is the Dharmendra movie with the elephant. And that's basically all you need to know, because the first half of the movie is painfully boring and dumb set up for some fairly fun elephant hijinks. Elephant!

35. Amar Akbar Anthony (1977) - The classic "three brothers separated and brought together" story by Manmohan Desai is, surprise to no one, one of my favourites. Not least of all because Anthony is a fantastic character, Neetu Singh and Rishi Kapoor are adorable together and Vinod Khanna is smokin'. Sigh. Earlier discussed here.

36. Imtihan (1974) - Fine, call me a cheater, I've still not finished this one yet. It started off okay but didn't go anywhere and showed no signs of promise so I turned it off. Anyway, Vinod Khanna plays an awesome professor who is seriously the best person ever on this planet. And he wears glasses.

37. Asoka (2001) - I feel all kinds of pretentious saying that my dislike for this film is largely due to the fact they didn't get to the good part of the historical Ashoka's life; Buddhism, spreading Buddhist beliefs etc. Why? Because the biggest expert on Indian history and Buddhism that I know lists this film as one of her favourites. Go figure. It's an okay movie, but I just find it a tad overhyped. Nice visuals, can't be denied.

38. Bommarillu (2006) - Oh, Siddharth. This initially disappointed me but later I grew a fondness for it, the originality of the storyline worked its magic and even the cheesy song picturizations won me over. Genelia may be Manic Pixie Girl - google it - but she works for me as the balancing factor for Siddharth's character's life, and how he comes to terms with the pressures by his father.

39. Na Tum Jaano Na Hum (2002) - The one, the only, epic Saif/Hrithik bromance movie. Served with a side order of cheese, and mostly just cheese, and sprinkled with Esha Deol's first-grade non-acting (her first role, bless her soul). This is one of those "so bad I kind of love it" films, but don't expect to find me rewatching it over and over again.

40. Hum Hain Rahi Pyar Ke (1993) - This film is simply too adorable! I love it so much. Aamir Khan plays an uncle to kids who is left to take care of them and Juhi Chawla plays a runaway girl who befriends the kids on a fair and ends up rooming with them without Aamir's character's knowledge. As you can imagine, comedy and romance ensue. I also like Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak but I like my happy endings more, so this one wins in my books. Earlier discussed here.

Star interviews - our favourites.

Stars don't have it easy, as this picture of the deeply frowning, pensive-looking Saif Ali Khan demonstrates. Interviews are a tough gig; how to not show your deep hatred of journalists while answering their questions to make sure you do your bit for some film's marketing. I don't read a whole ton of interviews but based on what I've read of Saif's, I can say this dude does not dig the journo's. As probably don't a lot of stars, he's just not as good at masking it.

But I was reminded me of some of my favourite star interviews when listening to the LoveBollywood podcast from months back which featured Shahrukh Khan and Lara Dutta discussing then-new Billu (Barber).

One of the hosts: Shahrukh, how should I do my hair?
Shahrukh: But then what will we do to your face?

Call me weird, but I laughed out loud at that.

So, some of my favourite interviews that come to mind...

BAFTA goes Bollywood with Aamir Khan - Aamir's interviews tend to be favourites of mine because the man has a lot of good stuff to say but this one stands out because in here he talks about getting into the physicality of his characters. While some non-fans will roll their eyes at his lite method acting discussions, it's a great interview, very interesting and a must watch for people who love the guy.

Most Salman Khan interviews - I don't get the vitriol some people have for this guy. Sure, he's past his heyday and has the worst picks in films sometimes, and there's a lot of very nasty rumors about him circling around. But in interviews he always seems like a really relaxed guy with a clear sense of self and a truly quirky sense of humor. I'd link to the CNN-IBN interview that made me well aware of this fact some years back but I can't find it.

Farhan Akhtar on LoveBollywood when Rock On!! was releasing - Since this is no longer available on the BBC website, download link here. Farhan talks about how he got into acting, how he wrote and worked on DCH, and his other films, too. He's a smart chap, and this is one of the best LoveBollywood interviews I've listened. I loved it the first time I listened through it, and after I saw Rock On, I had to go back and give it another listen.

Koffee with Karan, season 1, Abhishek & Preity - I thought KwK was always an incredibly overappreciated chat show. Karan was not the best of hosts, but some episodes really stand out because the guests are friends with each other, and friends with Karan and actually comfortable enough to discuss interesting things and even mock Karan a little. This is one of those episodes. And it made me want to see them together in a movie, which happened eventually in the form of Jhoom Barabar Jhoom. Since the series got a DVD release, it must have been yanked down from youtube, but if you can, seek it out and watch it.

Siddharth on Filmfare (aka the True Angry Young Man Interview) - Scans of it here. Newsflash! Sidd is no big fan of journos, so much so I feel bad for the interviewer. This dude comes of as cold and refuses to discuss anything not to do with his movies. He has some very strong opinions on South vs North which I can agree with, and even on the success of his own movies. Siddharth's an unique character in the film industry - not really there to make friends and rub elbows with big names, just to work and do his best at it. Fascinating interview on the real personality behind Indian cinema's cutest face. (Only for true fans; some non-fans might be turned off by this.)

Bluffmaster's making of - This is either the most honest interview ever or the most honest deceitful one. Probably the latter. It's just fantastic. Riteish talks about how he's the real star of the movie, Abhishek talks about why people call Boman Irani a great actor because he's old.. It's just great. Search it on youtube if you don't own the DVD yet.

So here were my favourites (or some of them). How about yours?

Fifty Bollywood films BBC thinks I ought to own.

Thanks to Beth for linking to this - it's a great excuse to detail some movies I've seen, and whether I appreciate them enough to make this list. Link: BBC Asian Network's 50 Bollywood movies

There's plenty of films I don't own and have not even watched but here are some random comments.

1. Black? Devdas? I know I'm sometimes in the minority as a Bhansali nay-sayer but come on. Really now.
   
2. Guru and Yuva are both quizzical choices. I'd like to have one or the other, for Abhishek's fantastic performances in both, but Guru just was not overall great and Yuva had plenty of boring, trite stuff, too. Bombay I agree with fully, though. It might be my favourite Mani Ratnam film - if nothing else, it is amazingly touching and moving, guaranteed to make you cry.
3. Agree with Beth on this - Munnabhai MBBS ought to be Lage Raho Munnabhai. The first one is good, the second one is absolutely stellar and one of my favourite post-2000 movies.
   
4. Naseeb - goddammit, I own this movie, it has Amitabh, it has Hema and it's a Manmohan Desai. Why haven't I seen this yet? I need to prioritize!
5. Rangeela, wow, really? Does anybody remember anything but bad fashion from that movie? If I was forced to pick a cheesy, classic but not amazing Aamir Khan film from the 90's, I would go with Raja Hindustani. It's not a clever film, far from it, but it has tons of heart. Rangeela has none, unless you count shots of the area where Urmila's heart is, I guess.
6. Some of my ultimate favourites on the list; Seeta aur Geeta, Sholay, Dil Chahta Hai, Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge, Lagaan, Omkara, Rang De Basanti. I also really like Maine Pyar Kiya, Mughal-e-Azam, the previously mentioned Munnabhai, Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak. Good on you for including this, list. Not all faith is lost.
   
7. Sarkar? Yawn. Life in a Metro? What the hell! That one was mediocre at best! Page 3? I don't know, I'm not really into these 'exposé' type of films. Yes, media and the glitz and glam of celebrities hides a lot of dirt and ugly behavior. Big shocker.
8. Films from this list I really want to see: Maachis, Taare Zameen Par (European DVD release, please? anybody?), Pinjar and of course, Naseeb.

Two posts within 24 hours, would you believe it? Go me!

PS. Should each of us Bollywood bloggers create our own "must own" 50 film list? I'm thinking while it might be a favourites list for most, and of course, excludes those who haven't really even seen 50 movies (my numbers are only at 200 at this point..) but it's a good way to evaluate whether you think you've seen a great variety in movies or if your viewing has been more focused towards your biggest favourites or whatever. 25 must owns might be more doable? I'll sleep on this, maybe work on my list tomorrow.

Ghajini: the audio review.

Being a lazy typist, I wanted to make an audio review of this one. Turns out blogger doesn't allow you to upload & embed audio files so I had to go to imeem instead. Hope it works fine and you can decipher my accent & horrible mispronounciations without problem. Enjoy!

jeejee.wav -

Wherein I cheat, address Misters Khan & Khan and explode from adoration: Andaz Apna Apna reloaded.

I've seen plenty of Indian movies, and blogged about a small margin of them, so the problem of posting is never really about lacking a movie to talk about. It's more about what I'm inspired to write about. And so, even though I've already discussed this movie, I'm going to talk about it again. And by talk, I really mean "gush".

So. Andaz Apna Apna. One of the few films where just looking at my collection of screencaps can send me giggling. This is truly one amazingly funny film, and I've loved it to pieces since I first saw it, as a very fresh Bollywood fan. I'd seen the movie mentioned countless times when the topic discussed was "best Hindi comedy ever" before I saw the film and even though there are as many tastes in comedy as there are people, I am pretty much inclined to agree.

Everything about it is just so delicious. From the first moments, the guest appearance by Juhi Chawla (as Juhi Chawla!) meeting Amar (played by Aamir Khan) and a romance developing between them, you start to see the great, parodic, not-too-serious manner that the film adopts. The way Juhi delivers those cheesy lines that Amar's filmi-addled mind is later revealed to have dreamed is very telling of the film's character; it's just loud enough to be hilarious in an outrageous way but yet with a certain subtlety that shows the wit behind it. The makers, the actors, they know what they're doing. The silliness is over-the-top, yet self-aware.

It's exactly that rare type of stupidity and intelligence mixed that makes AAA's formula so successful. That's not to say it's some kind of incredibly deep, layered movie with a message. It's still a comedy; I'd be stupid to say it wasn't. But there is something great about the type of devotion that the film gives to being parodic, self-aware and most importantly, a comedy. It avoids the "interval turn-around" completely - it doesn't suddenly decide to be a serious love story or a family drama. It does its thing and stays true to it until the very end.

The characters are all utterly dim-witted, but in a weirdly charming manner. Amar is a manipulative, scheming dumbo who wouldn't know sincerity if it hit him with a manner, but I love the character all the same. Same goes for Salman's Prem, who's more naive and sincere, but still determined to get what he wants (rich girl Raveena ..played by Raveena!).

I have a hard time thinking of favourite scenes or favourite lines simply because there are so many. In some ways I consider Andaz Apna Apna almost an exhausting comedy; it's just so funny, nearly all the time. It rarely stops to give you time to breathe - even the songs can be hilarious! When I put it on, I have to prepare myself to laugh my head off. Sometimes, something less funny and light may be more in order.

So what's this I hear about a sequel? I'm truly as torn as ever. On one hand I would love for another Khan-Khan collaboration and seeing as how well Salman and Aamir still get along, I think it would work, given the right script and movie. But whether that movie should be a sequel to Andaz Apna Apna or anything emulating its style, I'd have to say "thanks, but no thanks". The movie stands alone; there is no story to come afterwards, and re-making it, even with a lot of the key players, seems pointless. If it still works for modern audiences in its current form, why change it?

So, dear Misters Khhhan and Khan (should either of you be reading, you blogger people you!), enjoy your current success and by all means make a movie together, but don't bother making sure it's of the same breed as Andaz Apna Apna. Such scripts are one of a kind. A good original comedy I would gladly welcome, however. And if we truly mean to make some sort of AAA re-union happen, let's not forget to pull the ladies out of their pro-longed maternity leaves and get Raveena and Karisma into this project, as well (I always thought Raveena was a criminally underrated comedienne in the 90's). Paresh Rawal returning goes without saying, of course.

Before I leave you, I must link to the fabulous write-up of the film by TheBollywoodFan, that explains a lot of the cultural comedy references woven into the movie.

Oi maa!