Upendra, starring Upendra, directed by Upendra.

I went into Kannada director-star (titled "Real Star" in the Kannada film industry) Upendra's self-titled film (now there's a turn of phrase one rarely sees in cinema!) very cautiously. My relationship with the film maker has been one part awe, one part admiration or appreciation but also one part condemnation for the, shall we say, problematic elements in his films. 

In Super (symbol), I appreciated the wild imagination that brought the film its energy, but loathed the way that women were used rather predictably as nothing but mere symbols of the bigger picture. I also had a more minor problem with the message presented. In A, the "women problem" was even more prominent, though once again the film had enough interesting ideas that I didn't hate it - in fact, I'll probably end up rewatching it at some point. 

There is so much thought behind these films, I would never want to dismiss them despite the fact that I am deeply disturbed by the way Upendra treats his heroines. Like I said in my review of Super, it annoys me because I would hope that somebody who puts so much thought into crafting his stories would really think through his choices when it comes to portrayal of women. Upendra is not the only brilliant man who hasn't considered the opposite gender much at all, and he won't be the last, but I maintain my wish that it wasn't so. I wouldn't be so hesitant in recommending his films if women weren't thrown around indiscriminately to deliver ..no point whatsoever, really. To be fair, Upendra's heroes rough-house men as well, but it doesn't make it any more palatable. These are loud, eccentric films - but there's a way to do it without so much casual, pointless violence, and I think Upendra could consider that option.

However, and this is a fairly major 'however', I feel as if with Upendra (the film), I have reconciled my relationship with Upendra (the film maker). I feel like three films in, I finally understand him a bit more, and while those problems I have remain, I can look past them and appreciate his films on the level he intended. It was as if Upendra (the film) was a journey into the mind of Upendra (the film maker) and while I think out of his films, in terms of the story, I appreciate A the most, in terms of the message, I really came out liking Upendra (the film ..yes, I am aware of how confusing this continues to be!).

Upendra is a tale of Naanu (Upendra), an absolutely wretched, selfish human being. He doesn't believe in lying, so he exposes other people's hypocritical lives while  breaking every rule society has given him to break. Despite this, a young woman named Rathi (Damini) falls in love with him. However, she soon finds out Naanu has two other women in his life - he is pursuing the rich heiress Keerthi (Raveena Tandon) and has a wife (Prema) as well. Who will be choose to be with, and will any of the women have him?

The eccentric loudness makes the film actually quite difficult to watch, and the real experience actually only begins on the second watch. The first time, you feel as if you don't know where anything is headed - Naanu is your typical loud, violent, punch-dialogue-delivering Upendra hero, but the way he points out hypocrisies in society just isn't really all that logical. It's also really not that interesting. The juggling he does between the women in his life also starts to feel a bit dull after a while - he loves Rathi but wants Keerthi, but has obligations to his wife. 

Damini is possibly the weakest link in the cast - Prema and Raveena do well with their exaggerated characters, and Upendra of course doesn't need to do much to do what he knows to do in his films. It's a drag on the first watch, when one is still under the illusion that all these threads of story are actually headed somewhere fairly typical. Even once you find out the real purpose of the film, there is just so much slack.

I read somewhere that some press in India were upset over the vulgar portions of the film - there is pretty frank discussion of the hero spending time with prostitutes and other sexual topics. I didn't mind  these parts because they were there, but even in retrospect it is difficult to see their purpose.

And that's the real downfall of this movie - the purpose is so evident on the second time you watch it when it comes to some things, but not when it comes to others. I get the sense that Upendra (the film maker) often doesn't care what the audience that doesn't already love him, thinks of him, but there is much to be said for a slight toning down of the loudness to perhaps allow all of those who haven't previously enjoyed his films another look in. 

I think sometimes it's fine for a movie to be so much in your face with its everything - from the songs (lyrics penned by Upendra, unsurprisingly perhaps) to the acting, to the dialogue and even to the initial shreds of social message you may read into the film, and I wouldn't ask Upendra to completely abandon his style. Still, I think there's something to be said for taking it down a notch - less is more, that kind of thing. 

However, with all these criticisms, I really appreciated the final message of the film. I wish you could somehow remove the frillings and just focus on the point of the film. As it concerns the very end of the film, I'll have to slap a big SPOILER warning here right now. If you haven't seen the film, by all means, check it out if you think you'd like it. If you have seen the film, continue reading!

Aamir Khan, the chocolate hero: a tiny retrospective.

All the pictures from this post are sourced from the wonderful tumblr titled umbartha - not sure where the runner of said blog gets all the magnificent scans but the place is well worth visiting, tons of gorgeous 90's-80's Hindi film stars, as well as amusing fashion and rare photographs. 

There's been a lot of mischaracterizations of Aamir Khan going around in the past half a decade or so, during the entire time I've been consuming these wonderful films. I've always known Aamir better as the post-Dil Chahta Hai Aamir, the one who meticulously pours over details of the stories, gets deep into method acting, rehearses and who is rumoured to hang over his directors' shoulder, ghost-directing the films he stars in. He's been called a snob, a perfectionist, a meddler, a holier-than-thou figure. 

I usually scoff at these accusations, because even if Aamir's genuine character hadn't convinced me in interviews, it's not like Fanaa or Ghajini are high-minded art films - they're entertainment, and not even flawless scripts, far from it. 

Whatever the case may be, though, there's another version of Aamir that I've only discovered in retrospect - the young, fresh-faced Aamir Khan.

Aamir the chocolate hero seems to have done the same kind of romantic films, comedies and family dramas that most stars did in the 90's. A lot of the films are of course classics, from his debut with Juhi Chawla in Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak to the Ram Gopal Varma direction, Rangeela. Then there's the comedy classic and one of my all-time favourites, Andaz Apna Apna (featured on many posts in this blog, but primarily in this post) and Raja Hindustani, a romantic classic despite some questionable infant-handling.

I interrupt this post to take note that yes, in the above picture, Aamir is in fact dressed like a pirate.

Let us savour this for a moment.

Good, now we can continue on..

There were a lot of bad films, too, and a lot of films that are memorable but perhaps a bit dated. Would anybody remember Ghulam had it not been for "Aati kya Khandala?" - probably not. Then there's trainwrecks like Ishq, that some people, like me, just won't let die in its sad infamy.

And nobody's asking why Parampara wasn't on most people's "best of Yash Chopra" lists..

But like this outfit, Aamir didn't stop, and then we got to gems like Earth 1947 and Lagaan, DCH etc. There's still plenty of Aamir's 90's filmography that I've not seen - partly because I've not heard good things, and partly because I felt like I'd seen all of the must-see flicks from that era of his career. 

Still, I'm always open to recommendations, especially as Aamir is definitely a favourite, so if you've got any, send them my way!

I especially like this shot of Aamir looking pensively off into the distance, next to a collage of director Guru Dutt's film stills. I am not making a comparison between the two, but I wouldn't be surprised if film makers like Guru Dutt inspired Aamir to move his career into pretty risky ventures, starting with Lagaan. I do like the fact that Aamir played his own part in changing what mainstream Hindi cinema would be in the first decade of the new millennium, shaping it partly with his own choices in films, partly in choosing to go into directing as well. 

Our chocolate hero moved on.

And will be in Dhoom 3 next year, proving that he's definitely still swimming in the mainstream, and not as much against the tide as his detractors like to believe.

Poovellam Kettupar! Talk to the flowers, because the hand.. er.

It makes perfect sense that in this frothy little Tamil romcom-cum-family drama, the first song includes the lovely Jyothika dancing among flowers. (The title, Poovellam Kettuppar, apparently means "talk to the flowers". Presumably, to hear what they have to say.)

Whatever, I'm into it, epecially knowing that this was one of the first films she did with future-husband Surya. Exciting!

However, it turns out that crux of this tale revolves around the fathers of the protagonists, who are both composers and used to work as a duo. They went their separate ways after a furious argument and have been mortal enemies ever since. 

This is his father.

This is hers. 

Inconveniently for MouchoPrema, for which I watched this film, neither of them have a moustache! I love you, Nassar, but come on, give a girl a 'stache..

But allow our younglings to meet up anyway, unaware of their fathers' enmity towards one another. Wait, didn't Shakespeare write a story like this, once? 

You know, whenever two characters you just know are going to end up together meet on-screen, in my family, we would often comment at the TV, "Those two are going to get married!"

In this case, it would literally be true, and while by no means unique, I always enjoyed the Surya-Jothika coupling. They've had excellent chemistry in pretty much all of their joint ventures, and they seem pretty happy in real life, too. What's not to like?

This is from a scene where she spills a drink on his shirt to try and get rid of him sitting next to her, only he counters by taking his shirt off, and then putting a clean one on. Sad to say, this was one of the better comedy scenes in the movie.

As the film went on, I quickly discovered that the reason I hadn't been recommended this film despite my love for its stars, wasn't that it was crap - it's more that it's just not all that special. It's just your standard romcom with moments of cute and the occasional hilarity, but also some very grating comedy, and a pretty mediocre soundtrack to carry you through these scenes.

Though I will never, ever forget Surya listing 100 flower names.

Because he. Literally. Lists. One hundred. Flower types.

To her.

And this is ..romance, I guess? (Look, I'll just say it now: I think Surya looks weird with a moustache. At least this one.)

Our young couple naturally figure out that their fathers hate each other, and thus their options are eloping or making the fathers see the errors of their ways. For the sake of comedy, they choose the latter option.

She poses as a nurse to his mother, and he on the other hand takes a job as her father's chauffeur. Comedy hijinks a-plenty!

Again, it's not that the leads are bad - they're not - or that the film is boring. It's just in that bland, merely okay category, where I'm not sure I'd rewatch, apart from the songs, and even then only to see how young and cute the leads were in the early 2000's.

Oh, I almost forgot. There's this character, a director, who appears to be the only other significant mooche in the film. How ..disappointing. 

And that's Poovellam Kettuppaar for you. Good enough for a watch, certainly, especially if you're like me and refuse to get over Jothika's departure from Tamil films (she was my favourite heroine! why did you leaaaaave - oh yeah, you married a hot guy and didn't want to work anymore, I guess that's fair enough..) and also love Surya.

Could you remember 100 names for various flowers?

Spare a thought for Ishq.

Ah, Ishq. You are the most entertaining bad film ever, or a hot mess that's a tragic wasted opportunity considering the talented, likable cast - depending on who you ask. You're the worst of Anu Malik soundtracks, or the best example of an Anu Malik soundtrack - again, depending on the listener.

I'm in the camp of Ishq lovers, and unapologetically so. But as with any bad movie, to actually value it in that perverse The Room type of cult phenomenon type of way is just not on (I mean that in the sense that I've had people praise The Room to me as a pinnacle of film-making, like there's some kind of wild genius hidden in its badness). This is a bad film, superb in its badness, but not necessarily to be admired for that quality. A bad film is a bad film is a bad film. Some bad films just happen to be entertaining.

All the characters and events in Ishq are hysterical and over-the-top. The comedy of the first half, what with the ape driving the car and Juhi spreading tooth paste all over Aamir's face in a fit of anger, is just so out there you wonder how anybody thought it was a good idea. The songs are a constant joy; the first one, "Humko tumse pyaar hai" fits neatly into the weird category of pervy love songs that have picturisations like out of a horror film. "Ishq hua" is every 90's Bollywood love song cliché neatly squeezed into one package, with the kind of lyrics that didn't seem to take that much thought (ishq hua / kaise hua? / accha hua! / jaise hua! - congratulations, that's four rhymes worth of "hua"). "Neend churayi mera", the song picturized above, is a ripped off disco tune with some pretty cheesy dance moves, and of course, a villain trying to shoot our foursome of heroes.

And of course, there are just no words for "Mr Lova Lova" apart from this one: why?

Then there's the epic second half, where angst reaches heightened proportions, there's attempted suicide and some other really deeply messed up stuff. Again: hot mess of story-telling. And yet weirdly enjoyable.
I should probably do a proper write-up of Ishq, with screencaps and all. But for now, spare a thought for Ishq - if for nothing else, than for the fact that grave mistakes ought not be forgotten..

A: a film.

Kannada director-actor Upendra's A is a disjointed film full of bold choices, creative execution and merging serious points with more masala elements. It's a story about a director, and an actress he makes a star out of, and it's a story about love - however, to call it a love story would give you a rather weird idea of love throughout most of the movie. A bit of the underbelly of the film industry is exposed, but it's not an exposé.

It's almost impossible to clearly define what A truly is; all I really know is, I can't really discuss it properly without spoiling it. It did confirm something for me: Upendra seems to be a film maker whose choices I do not agree with quite often, but I still appreciate what he's doing, if not how he's doing it. A lot of these niggles have to do with how he treats his female characters, but I'll explain my thinking further in the spoileriffic part of this write-up. 

So either rush to watch it, or stop reading this.

From here on there will be SPOILERS. Including the very end of the film.

Kadhalan: how about no?

Shankar, one of my favourite Indian directors, began his career in the early 1990's with Gentleman, which I haven't seen but I hear is not all that good. His next film, the Prabhudeva-Nagma starrer Kadhalan (1994), was a commercial hit with a popular A.R. Rahman soundtrack, but his film career really hit a stride when he made Mudhalvan (which he later remade in Hindi, and titled Nayak: The Real Hero, starring Anil Kapoor), a story of an everyman who gets to be Chief Minister for 24 hours, does a lot of good in the role and therefore creates a scandal for the political establishment.

Considering this background, Kadhalan (which, as the title suggests, centers entirely on a love story between the leads) is sort of Shankar before Shankar himself knew the kinds of films he was best at making. The lack of a social message is partly what makes this film so uninteresting in my eyes. The love story isn't believable, original or striking enough to make for a good story, and the villain isn't even bad enough. Coupled with some very questionable scenes (like the torture of Prabhudeva's character by a female police officer), and in terms of plot this film just doesn't feel very worth watching.

The positives come from a couple of comical scenes (not provided by the film's comedian Vadivelu, who's so unbearably unfunny it hurts) and the indeed memorable soundtrack. The song visuals include excellent dancing by Prabhudeva, and there's even a couple of scenes where he does some awesome classical dancing. (The blogosphere's resident expert on classical dancing films, MinaiMinai, posted her thoughts on the movie here.) A fun piece of trivia is that my favourite actor Vikram actually dubbed for Prabhudeva in this film. (Don't ask me why, I honestly couldn't tell you..)

I don't want to rag on the film too much. It does have some good bits and pieces that remind me of my favourite Shankar films, and it was obviously a very popular film in its time. But overall, it simply didn't win me over like his others have, and I'm only holding onto the DVD for the fun songs.

Speaking of which, here's one of them - enjoy!



Take it easy!

International Khiladi - what did I just watch?

Listen up, kids. This is not so much a review as it is a write up. Hence there will be SPOILERS. But ask yourself - do you really care enough not to get spoiled for International Khiladi? This film has been out for ages. It's a soddin' Khiladi film. Getting spoiled for it will mean one of two things: 1) you'll realise what a bullet you dodged not watching it or, 2) you'll realise it's so outrageously peculiar you've got to witness it with your own eyes. Either way, getting spoiled for it is win-win.

Now that we've got that clear, welcome to ...this whole thing. It's not really a review. It's a bit like therapy? For full effect, please listen to the theme song while reading!

At first we get a scene from the conference of the biggest criminals in each country, and some cops talking about blowing it up. Do they ever? Of course not. The criminals are selecting a boss. Democratically, via vote. You know, as you do, when you're members of the underworld. You're all about democratically elected representation. Who gets picked? Who d'you think?

Meet Devraaj, our International (get it?? because they made him boss of crime world over!) Khiladi!

Then there's a cop who discovers a dead body in Devraaj's place and they also find Payal, the sister of the dead person, played by Twinkle Khanna, who in court accuses Devraaj of rape, but says they were also in love. At this point you're thinking, "Wait, it's that kind of movie? Well, he is a bad guy, but goddammit, really?"

The backstory tells us that Amit (played by Rajat Bedi, ie THAT GUY WHO REALLY LOOKS LIKE SHAHRUKH KHAN), the cop we saw earlier, is friends with the dead guy (pictured here, not yet dead). And he's really in love with Payal. Payal dances, he watches with that ridiculous almost-Shahrukh face of his.

Then we enter a god-awful "comedy segment" where Payal and her colleague Focus (YES REALLY, oh wait he's played by Johnny Lever so surely that makes sense? not really) want to interview Devraaj. Comedy hijinks! You know, if this wasn't the WORST criminal on the planet, who could easily get you killed.

Still! Comedy hijinks! (Just kill me.)

Oh yeah, Gulshan Grover plays Thukkral, who is the criminal boss of Pakistan and has got bit of a beef with Devraaj. Colour us all surprised. He speaks in the most ridiculous English/Hindi mix, and I mean ridiculous. He says "I-ko" instead to "mujhko". He says things like "mere dil toh garden-garden hota hai". I just can't even.

And of course he's got some Western female bodyguards who wear golden bikinis and kick ass.

..and whose ass Akki is forced to kick. He doesn't want to. So they have a bit of a tumble in a padded pool.

(Yep, this film is quite weird.)

Payal stalks Devraaj some more for an interview as all ethical journalists are willing to do, even to the point of staying in the rain for three days without any food. Devotion!

So he finally gives in and comes out to chat to her, and of course ends up falling in love with her journalistic integrity. They never actually end up doing the interview, it's almost as if it doesn't matter. (There is a song, though. Of course there is!)

Then Amit goes and tells Payal about all the murders and crimes Devraaj has committed, putting quite a damper on this fledgling romance. Back off, Almost Shahrukh! We don't want you here!

Payal confronts Devraaj about this, so he is forced to bare his TERRIBLE BACKSTORY of woe and death and how basically he is the most noble, ethical person there is, and really the cops are the ones going around raping and murdering, under the protection of corrupt politicians. In a world like this, aren't the criminals really the good guys?

Of course they are!

So Payal believes him and they have a ridiculous song together!

Joy of joys! (Do you remember the rape part from the beginning of the film? No?)

Something happens I didn't pay attention for about 3 minutes and they're on a boat that explodes (?) but Devraaj saves Payal, hurray!

(I'm really sorry but I have to) .. so they dance!

Look at them go!

So happy and in love! (Remember the rape part?)

Well, it turns out Devraaj finds out that Payal's brother is an undercover cop infiltrating Devraaj's organisation, so he tortures the brother and then despite loving Payal, molests her in front of her brother and then kills him and then (the implication is) rapes her.

..yeah, good times.

And thus concludes Payal's testimony in court (oh, you didn't realise 80% of this movie is flashback? silly you!), and Devraaj gets sentenced to death and all's well ends well, right?

No.

Almost-Shahrukh really wants Payal to live in his creepy Payal-worship shrine (read: house) but Payal cannot stop thinking about the fact how they dragged her brother's dead body to Devraaj's house and then framed him for her rape.

...allow me to repeat that.

Amit (Almost-Shahrukh!) dragged her brother's body to her house and told her that Devraaj's men killed him, so they must make sure that Devraaj's gets the death penalty for this crime, and Payal was like, okay, what's the harm in a little framing the man I love for rape that never happened when my beloved brother is dead, probably killed by the man I love.

Except she cannot give her heart to Almost-Shahrukh because she still loves the man who killed her brother!

Woe!

So he gets a woeful song.

Yeah, whatever.

Devraaj escapes jail because even the police know now that he is the Good Guy and does a cool press conference, essentially saying he will find Amit and Payal and give a reward to whoever tells him where they are, and then somebody calls him, and says "They're in Toronto," so being the INTERNATIONAL khiladi that he is, Devraaj flies to Toronto.

But instead of killing Payal like he said he would, he just confronts her at a picturesque locale. And basically says that there's no way he could have killed her brother, because he loves her.

And also? He loves her.

Doesn't she get it? He loves her.

She does get it. Hurray! Happiness and flowers and faked rape!

.. so they dance!

Then we enter the climax of the film, which is ..quite something else. First Amit shows up, wanting to kill Devraaj. Payal protects him. Thukkral shows up to tell everybody that he killed Payal's brother! Shock of shocks!

Amit is heartbroken that Payal loves Devraaj but accepts this fate.

Oh wait, Devraaj has to fight Thukkral's gang of women in bikinis.

And some random martial arts guy who he then has to stab in the back.

And some random black guy in the forest.

You think this would be a fitting climax to an action film? You think fighting a bunch of random enemies would suffice?

No, no, and no.

Turns out Amit is NOT okay with Payal loving Devraaj and anyway, he's the one who killed her brother (we're told in flashback) and then just asked Thukkral to work with him and say he's the one who killed the brother in front of Payal and then he shoots Thukkral and wants to kill Devraaj and run off with Payal but this does not quite work out.

But he does get to kidnap Payal and put her on a cargo plane! (Are you still with me? Doesn't that whole rape thing feel like a millennia ago? I know, right?)

Luckily Devraaj grabs a pair of rollerskates (YES REALLY) and is off to save her! From a moving plane.

Yes.

Really.

His success is varied.

But somehow they still end up here.

.. so they dance!

Actually, they don't, I'm just kidding. But this climax is far, far, oh so far from being over.

So then they fight inside the plane.

And then Payal ends up falling out of the plane, with no parachute (though she is wearing a mysterious backpack but apparently did not plan to fall out of a plane, that silly girl!), and so Devraaj jumps after her, with parachute, and Amit heads to the cockpit to turn the plane around so he can kill them both WITH THE PLANE.

I don't even know.

These the faces of two people about to get hit by a plane.

Look at the International Khiladi.

NO FEAR.

No.

Fear.

It's like that song, "Getting hit with a plane toh darna kya", isn't it?

So they do actually get hit with the plane (well they crash against the nose and DON'T DIE) and end up on the wing, holding on for their dear lives.

Yes, really.

REALLY.

And then the plane crashes but they somehow survive and Amit gets killed and they get married I guess?

THE END.

I think it'll take me about a lifetime to digest this viewing experience.. I thought I was made of such strong stuff, and then. Fake rapes! ROLLERSKATES! Plane fights. Plane crashes to the face! Happy ending!

I just.

Yeah.