Talaash: when is a slow reveal too slow?

Had it been released any other year, Talaash would've probably been the best film of the year. Lucky for us the audience, the year was 2012, which gave us another excellent Hindi mystery thriller, Kahaani. It's difficult not to talk about the two films in conjunction with one another, as they both involve an urban setting, a main character trying to piece together what seems like an unsolvable mystery, a plot twist and attempt to hood-wink the audience into not seeing that twist coming. They're also both films you're best knowing the most minimal amount of premise, going in.

So here's what I'll say about the plot - things you can piece together from the first trailers, which hit the internet about a year ago: a man drives off into the sea on an entire empty road, for no apparent reason. A police man (Aamir Khan) tries to piece together what happened, while growing distant from his wife (Rani Mukherjee) and running into the lady of the night, Rosie (Kareena Kapoor), who helps him try to solve the mystery.

I will try to discuss the film without revealing spoilers, but you're very sensitive to this sort of thing (I know I am!), you may want to stop reading now.

Talaash is a finely made movie with competent direction, littered with strong performances (from the heart-wrenching one from Rani Mukherjee to the crooked yet sympathetic character portrayed by Nawazuddin Siddiqui). It's definitely a step up from Reema Kagti's debut, Honeymoon Tavels Pvt Ltd, which was adorable but not too ambitious. As such, it's hard to phrase why the film doesn't really make it into my favourites. It's got so many things going for it, from the performances to the themes it portrays (which I cannot really discuss without going into spoilers), to the excellent cinematography. Going into it, I didn't know much, but I was expecting a lot - that's what tends to happen when three of one's favourites are shoved into the same film, with a promising premise. I'm not quite sure if the film delivered on all the things I really wanted it to.

I suppose one factor was the relatively slow pace of the middle third of the film. As a viewer, you're trying to put together the same mystery Aamir's Surjan is attempting to solve, but coming up with very little. I wasn't really at my sharpest when watching, so perhaps I could've seen the twist coming, had I concentrated a little more, but by the time the film got to its half-way mark, I found myself as frustrated as Surjan seemed to be. Things just weren't adding up in a satisfying manner, and the film began to feel a bit boring. I was fine with the twist, when it arrived - it seemed strangely fitting, and I didn't mind the aspect it added to the film. I figured it out, I suspect, exactly at the moment the director wanted me to figure it out, considerably before Surjan does, but not so early as to ruin the discovery.

So what I was left with was "just" a good film. When put up next to the crop of other good films, Talaash definitely stands out as a good film, but not so overwhelmingly strong that I'd say I loved it. I also wasn't so personally moved by as to call it a favourite. But worth seeing, especially if you like any of the three big stars in the main cast? Absolutely. 

A solid list of solidly okay films: Paiyaa, Bodyguard.

Paiyaa (2010) is your standard Tamil action entertainer with a bit of a twist: the story begins with Shiva (Karthi ie Surya's brother) pretending to be a driver to the girl of his dreams (Tamanna). Pretty soon it turns out she's in in a spot of trouble, and he offers to drive her wherever she needs to go. During the road trip, they learn things about one another, fall in love, and she discovers that - surprise surprise! - he's also got some goons coming after her.

It's a fun little film, but it's nothing amazing. I like Tamanna, and didn't dislike Karthi (this film introduced me to him) and the songs were quite sweet, but after the recommendation by the DVD store clerk, I think I expected something a bit more than an okay film. Regardless, it's a fine effort and probably one I'd have liked more, had my expectations been more reasonable. I think the interesting premise made me want the film to be better than it was, or maybe it was just that this one didn't quite click with me the right way.


The expression "made more money than God" always struck me as peculiar, as surely God's not that big into human capitalist pursuits? Isn't the whole point of religion to rise above materialist desires? Regardless of these logical flaws it's safe to say that Bodyguard made more money than God (if God was to make money .. yeah, I'll just drop this here). I watched it last December and of course completely forgot to review it.

True to Salman's new renaissance as the Southie hero who just happens to be making films in Hindi, this one is actually a remake of a 2010 Malayalam film of the same name. The plot is fairly simple - Lovely B. Singh (Salman) gets hired as bodyguard to protect Divya (Kareena Kapoor). Divya is annoyed by Lovely constantly tailing her, so she starts calling him to distract him from his duties, and pretends to be a girl called Chhaya. Through this little riff, the two fall in love - the film is essentially a romantic comedy wrapped in an action film shell, because there's no way Salman can *not* release a can of whoopass on some bad guys in his films these days.

But what really makes the film worth watching are the last twenty-thirty minutes or so..

I think it's curious that Bodyguard became such an unbelievably huge hit in all accounts. It's a solid film, no doubt, but to me it's not really as good as other similar recent Salman films, like Dabangg or Wanted, both of which I loved, and have rewatched many times. Maybe it's more that the success of the aforementioned films (alongside stuff like Ready which I wasn't a fan of) lead to this super-heightened moment of absolute Salman paagalpan across India. Regardless, it's certainly good enough for one viewing occasion - if only to try and see what made it such an absolute phenomenon.

Agent Vinod - hollow spectacle.

Note: This review contains some minor spoilers (mostly in mentioning plot points or scenes).

Gah, is all I can say.

Sriram Raghavan, I know you can do better this. I know it. You got your big budget action masala, filled with international terrorist intrigue and Saif Ali Khan as the man who never gives out his real name. And yet .. 

I think the problem here is that Agent Vinod  has one foot in the sort of clever throwback Hindifilm referentialness that Johnny Gaddaar did quite well with, and another foot in slick post-millennium action thriller genre. So it never quite comes together, it's got these themes it throws at the viewer and subsequently seems to either abandon or not really follow all the way through. Like the idea about fake names, a clip also used in the trailer that amused me a ton - good, clever. I mean, one of the most ridiculous ideas in film history is that James Bond shares his name so much it becomes a catch phrase of the film. But instead of playing around with this idea of fake identities, the film just kind of leaves it there. In the end, Agent Vinod is just ..Agent Vinod, some guy who's good at kicking unmerciful ass when need be and who's addicted to the thrills provided by his job. Wow, colour me invested.

Which leads me to my next big gripe. Remember that pivotal scene in Omkara where Langda gets slighted and we see a couple of seconds of betrayal and hurt and anguish in his face, and then he blinks it away and is already plotting his revenge? I look at Saif Ali Khan in this film and wonder if that was the same guy in both performances, because it does not feel like it. Even as a fan, I would never try to talk up his acting abilities and compare them to those of the exceptionally talented Indian actors, but he has his moments, and he can achieve quite subtle, interesting things with his acting. In here, the character that is quite hollow in terms of characterisation remains hollow thanks to the acting. The cool-as-a-cucumber thing works well in action, but there are so many moments that are more quiet and that have potential for him to do something extra, add something to this character who is just kind of plain. And he doesn't.

And honestly, that does bother me.  He's got no excuses, he's the producer and with a good director, who he's worked with before. He could do so much more with this role. Instead he just does his usual. Whoopdedoo. Moving on.

Kareena gets the same complaint. I kept waiting for there to be more backstory, something more interesting added to her role, but since there wasn't anything, and it was good, but it wasn't anything beyond that. There's also no thought put into the romantic angle; the two fall in love somewhere along the way, I guess, and the film flirts with the idea that Vinod meets a lot of sexy dangerous women in his line of work (Bond style) but neither of these things are contrasted or expanded upon. What makes Kareena's character special? The script gives us very little to build off on.

The problem with the film isn't that it's horrible; it's extremely competently made, and has things in that are extremely commendable. The use of foreign locations is always great, and fits the story as it progresses. The camerawork, editing and action sequences are great, and there are some definite stand-out scenes, like the scene where the scene cuts back and forth between present and a flashback of Vinod's previous encounter with a certain individual, or the single-shot shoot out, accompanied by a song. There's plenty of stuff here where you're forced to just go, "wow, that's cool". The song sequences don't jar, either, and are very well used within the context of the plot. There are multiple good elements and that's partly why this film is so aggravating to me.

Sriram Raghavan had a million pieces moving in the way that the plot came together in Johnny Gaddaar, and delivered a more simple but good thriller in Ek Hasina Thi. He knows his film references, but he's usually not bogged down by them - the story moves forward and juggles different elements. In here, the plot is just not as interesting, and not as complex. Unlike EHT where you're simultaneously disturbed and cheering the main character on, in here I found myself with barely any lukewarm emotions towards any of the characters, good or bad. I've seen other reviews mention the absolute lack of humour, and concur - this film certainly needed it, especially when it could use Saif's in delivery.

Were my expectations just too high? I don't think so. I just know what everybody involved is capable of, and rather than giving their everything, it seemed they put together something that is competent and has thought put into it, but is lackluster as a whole. I keep wondering about scale; perhaps Agent Vinod would've been better with one or two less locations, one or two less bad guys or characters, maybe 30 or so minutes chopped off the running length. Maybe that squeezing down of the scale would've allowed for tighter plot, better characters, and less of this hollowness of the grand scale variety.

Ekk Main aur Ekk Tu: the film fitting of flat adjectives.

Passable, serviceable, bland. These are just some of the words that passed through my mind when watching the Imran Khan-Kareena Kapoor starrer, Ek Main aur Ekk Tu. Not all of these words have negative connotations - to be passable is perfectly fine in many ways. If you want to take the "glass half full" approach to life, you could say being a serviceable film actually sets a film ahead of the majority of forgettable, plain bad feature films that are out there.

So let's focus on the positives for a while: I was not once bored, nor did I find the storytelling or pacing awkward. The film chugs along at a nice pace, event after event, and though almost every turn is predictable, there's no fast-forwarding or scene-skipping that needs be done. The songs are overall quite nice as well, the leads both do fine, and the characterisations are consistent and mostly believable. The film tackles some age-old subjects, like identity of young people, parental expectations, knowing what you want in life - and then trying to get it. It doesn't re-invent the wheel, but it never claims to try, so that's fine.

The problem? Well, it's like Ramsu's review put it: the film does absolutely nothing right or wrong. It's just flat, and bland and rather tasteless, with no sharp edges or points of exuberance or irritation. It doesn't annoy nor does it inspire. It just is. Like that. You know precisely who the characters are, and there are no significant flaws in the way that they are written; Kareena's Riana is spontaneous and free-spirited where Imran's Rahul is uptight and conformist. But you just don't find yourself caring too much about their happiness or unhappiness. Charisma, chemistry or any kind of spark seems to be missing.

It's hard to say, with films like these, where the blame lies, and then - being that I am such a forgiving person - even harder to say whether one should even really blame the makers. The blandness of the film makes sure that you walk away from it, not even feeling all that annoyed that the film didn't rock your world. I spent less than two hours with it, and didn't hate the experience - it's just that it wasn't even that much of an experience.

Surely films are made to make us feel something, whatever that something may be?

Ten reasons why aal izz well with 3 Idiots. (SPOILERS)

1. Get well soon, education system and students (and parents of students) of India. Just as with his previous films, with 3 Idiots (2009) Rajkumar Hirani manages to bring out a simple message and cushion his exploration with comedy, excellent performances. What emerges is a life-affirming comedy that has excellent pace, and not a single boring moment within it.

2. It's extremely relatable to those of us studying anything in an institution, even if it's the thing that we want to study. Hirani never takes the next step to ask, "But can I succeed in this thing that I enjoy?", success is taken for granted, but that's fine, because the core message is very important. I've read some people call the movie too sermonizing; I didn't think so at all. Though I do have some gripes..

3. Not a fan of toilet humor here (which there is plenty of), but even then I really enjoyed the comedy in this film. The laughs I get from the film are never belly-achingly riotous but just fun, cute and occasionally really clever.

4. I always knew Sharman Joshi was good but how good exactly surprised me in here. I like how his praying fervor is contrasted in his lack of faith in himself, his family and the pressures he puts on himself, and his acting in the jump scene.. heart-stopping. Wow.

5. I liked Aamir a lot, as I typically do, but I do wish Rancho had had a flaw or two, a setback of his own making. Or something like that. It's like Hirani forgot some of the best bits in LRM were the setbacks - and to see Munna emerge from them. Or better yet, give some of amazing Rancho's solutions to Farhan, who admires and learns a lot from Rancho. It'd make perfect sense.

But I did adore the twist a lot. I like the fact a boy assumed to be a millionaire's son is in fact that of a worker but later reaches those heights on his own.

6. The script was so polished and considered, it was great. The only scene where I began considering how it could've been done better is the baby delivery scene. Hirani on Beautiful People (first part here) said that he researched this scene thoroughly, and that's all fine enough, but something about the tone was still a little too unbelievable. Also, it bugged me the baby was not given to the mother after the birth..

6.5. The pre-interval twist with Javed Jaffrey!!! The ending twist!!! The kiss!! Such good stuff.

7. Kareena was in good form here. Even though ladies are always delegated to love interests in Hirani films, I enjoyed her character. Especially when she shows up drunk at the school's dormitory and when she reveals the truth about her brother's death to her father -- the latter scene made me tear up. Oh, and Zoobi Doobi! Funky song, loved it.

8. Ah, Maddy. (This is one of those films where the concentration of Veracious Favourites is so high I'm a tiny bit amazed.) I do wish the character had had more to do, but I liked him a lot all the same. Farhan spent most of the film being amazed by everything and anything Rancho did, but he also had chances to shine, like the scene where his father finally lets him do what he wants in life. I also like how convincing he actually was as a college student.

9. What I feel like is a great feat by any movie - overcoming prejudice of the viewer. I had prejudice about Aamir playing a college student (again) but even more I had prejudice about the phrase, "aal izz well". I'm not a fan of creative spelling, but even the spelling makes a point to me now that I know what kind of thought that phrase encapsulates. Spelling is a set of extra rules imposed on something that we all understand perfectly when spoken; whether written "is" or "izz", the phrase doesn't change meaning. So the spelling goes beyond convention but the meaning doesn't change -- in fact, knowing the context for this particular spelling, it only adds to the phrase.

10. Rajkumar Hirani films always seem to have this almost magical quality to them -- like they put their viewer back in touch with something you ever so often forget about yourself. Sure, they present "marshmallow philosophy" - sweet, soft, simple and melts when dropped into hot cocoa - and are very Chicken Soup for the Soul-like, but they're also an excellent pick-me-up and a way for me to check myself on my cynicism and lack of faith.

They are an excellent show that feel-good doesn't mean brainless, far from it. And that's why films like 3 Idiots are always in order.

Bandana intervention.

Mr Khan (may I call you Saif?).

I cannot let you do this yourself anymore. We, the unfortunate people who follow your public appearances on a semi-regular basis, cannot watch you do this to yourself any longer.

This hurts me as bad as it hurts you.

Yes, it's about the bandana.

Don't say anything, just hear me (and us!) out. We know you dug the style of your character Jimmy Cliff in Tashan. We know you like rock music. We know you feel it's edgy to have this rock cowboy inspired look for yourself, and believe you me, the leather jackets, the boots and the jeans are not the problem here. I'm not crazy about the moustache but you appear to have shaved that off, which is a great step. It shows me you can do this, too.

You can quit the bandana.

You're so much better than this godawful 80's/90's throwback of an accessory. You're a hip dude, you're not even 40 yet, you don't have to go all middle-life crisis on us yet! You have a fine younger ladyfriend, and I know she loves you too much to say this to your face but she hates the bandana, too. I mean, she has eyes, does she not?

So for her, for us, for the sake of your credibility and career -- let go of the bandana. Just do it. Comb your hair, use a little styling products, go to a hair-dresser (you can afford it!) and stop.using.the.bandana.

Thank you for listening.

Let's talk about ... Kareena Kapoor!

The "honor" of being the second actress to be discussed in my "Let's talk about something other than a specific movie"-series goes to golden child (or according to some, spoiled brat), Kareena Kapoor.

Kareena is a difficult case for me to discuss because even more than some actresses, people seem to either fiercely love her or hate her. I moved from one end to the other of the "Bebo love/hate spectrum" pretty fast but even though I love her now, I understand the views of the opposing party far too well.

Kareena comes from the lineage of Kapoors, the Kapoors. When your sister and uncle and basically everybody in your family is in the business, the laws of Bollywood dictate, breaking into films isn't going to be a tough task for you. Becoming a good actress, on the other hand...

I haven't seen most of Bebo's earliest films, though I did have the misfortune of sitting through Yaadein, so I can't say objectively how she developed in terms of acting talent, film-by-film. I first saw Kareena in Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham, my first ever Hindi film, and I disliked her severely in it. At this point, I couldn't really see the exaggerated comedy in the character of Poo(ja) that she portrayed, and so it took a long while until I warmed up to Kareena,. If you'd asked me what I thought of her in 2004, I would've said "Yuck!" - and this was based on just that one performance, not a single interview blurb that a lot of people base their dislike of her on.

I might've seen some Kareena films between my first viewing of K3G and my later rewatch of it, but if I did, I don't recall it. The next time I saw her, it was once again, in K3G as Poo(ja), the mini-skirt sporting egomaniac of a forever-teenager like straight out of Clueless, only without the heart. But this time, I got it. The character was a joke, an instead of being annoyed, I just chuckled at her, because I felt like I finally understood. And like Hrithik's character in the film, I saw through that act, that joke of a Westernized NRI girl stereotype, and learned to like Poo, and through that, Kareena.

I saw okay films of hers like Yuva and Hulchul and Kyon Ki (okay, that one sucked but not thanks to Kareena) but what really sold me on this lady were two 2006 films; 36 Chinatown and Omkara.

Chinatown was not a great film, but in the filmi climate of its release - after Rang De, before Fanaa - it was a nice, all-around decent comedy with a couple of great performances (loved Akshaye Khanna!), cute song picturizations (Shahid and Kareena in 24x7 crackland!) and the first signs that Shahid and Kareena together could actually amount to some on-screen chemistry. It's no Jab We Met but it was cute enough and it made me recognize that Kareena actually had talent in the field of comic timing.

And of course, Omkara. Even if everything else in the film sucked (which gladly isn't the case), it really made a case for Saif and Kareena. She delivered a strong, believable dramatic performance without fail and looked gorgeous in a completely non-glamorous way, capturing the innocence and naivity of Dolly.

Since then, I've liked everything I've seen of her and anticipate some of her upcoming films a ton (3 Idiots? Gimme!). But sometimes I have to wonder..

The thing is, what with her previous controversial statements and the fact that she does sometimes come off as a highly privileged star kid, even though I normally don't enjoy allowing off-screen personalities affect my opinions of stars, Kareena always makes me examine my views on nepotism. It's one of those things every Bollywood fan will find themselves commenting on at some point in time. Most of us like at least one star who's got family in the industry and even worse, most of us like at least one star who "learned on the job". The automatic reaction is to condone it, or at least not oppose it vehemently - after all, if your favourites are kids of stars or big producers, who are you to say they shouldn't have gotten the break they did, entering the industry themselves?

But at the same time, it seems so wholly unfair that for every son/daughter/niece/nephew of producer Y or actor X, there's a guy or a girl struggling in Bombay, taking acting lessons, dance lessons, borrowing money and rubbing elbows, just trying to catch their own break. There could be some real talent there, among the kids who are not blessed to be a part of a handsome Bollywood lineage. As a viewer, would I rather watch a starkid struggle to emote in a crappy film or a newcomer actually knowing a thing or two about acting?

Even as I say that, I admit it is somehow easier to watch a starkid, crap or not, than to give a film full of total newcomers a chance.

So yeah, I'm torn on the issue, and more so when it comes to Kareena than say, Abhishek, whose rich famous kid privilege has never come out in interviews so obnoxiously as it has with Kareena or some other stars.

Ending on a bit of a sour note, but hope you enjoyed reading despite.

Ajeev lagta hai, or: more NIF experiences.

I haven't really been watching Indian movies in the past two weeks or so. Correction: I haven't really been watching new Indian films as of late, even with my awesome pile of Southie flicks and my existing pile of unwatched Hindi DVD's. Instead, I've been keeping my NIF friends on a steady diet. Here's what we've watched.

Rock On!! was sadly overshadowed by the presence of the brand new puppy my friend had gotten. The little thing was running around, biting and being chaotic as puppies usually are, and so the brilliant story-telling of the film was constantly taking a back seat to what was happening in the room. But nevertheless, they did see the film, and did enjoy the soundtrack.. Though again, with mixed success; one friend noted during Socha hai, "That dude can't sing", but the other one liked it enough.

There were no comments on the hotness of Farhan, but there was praise on Purab Kohli's comedic skills. Go Purab!


I brought over three DVD's with nothing in common except they're all favourites of mine that I wouldn't mind re-watching: Jab We Met, Dhool and Dharam-Veer. I introduced them to the audience. "This is romantic & awesome, this one has Anniyan Man in it, this one's got everything from samurai's to midgets to gypsies to pirates." One friend said romantic fluff, the other wanted brainmelting midgets and samurais. We rock-paper-scissors it, and Dharam-Veer won. The JWM-supporter friend started whining - she was tired, it'd been a long day, all she wanted was something relaxing and fun to watch. I tried arguing the merits of D-V; it was perfect "turn your brains off" fun! It was masala from the 1970's, for crying out loud,

D-V went into the DVD player, but you've probably already guessed the outcome; after non-stop whinging from Friend #1, Friend #2 succumbed and we turned back to JWM.

Shahid got the honor of being compared to a successful literary character: "He looks like Harry Potter." We giggled over the Harry Potter analogy throughout the first half, and Friend #2 groaned when Shahid begins singing on the bus. "Like you didn't know this was coming!" I old her.

Views on Kareena differed. Friend #2 thought she was "one annoying lady" while Friend #1 said, after the film, "I usually dislike the girls in Bollywood films, but I really liked this one!". Don't worry, Geet, at least you made one new fan!

Emotional appeal was established, probably for the first time since our viewing of Rang De Basanti - Friend #1 admited to getting teary-eyed during one of the heart-string tugging scenes. I consider this one an overall success.

Another evening, another film, and while I love Dhool to pieces, even after this umpteenth rewatch of it, it didn't reach the glorious levels of WTF that Anniyan did, and therefore left my friends a little cold. The songs were appreciated (though perhaps "Kundu kundu" a bit too brainmelting for Friend #2), but the typical "hero-against-corruption" didn't really engage my friends enough for them to truly appreciate the film.

Nevertheless, Friend #1 admitted she was warming up to Vikram's looks and that's good enough for me.

The pseudohistorical crackfest known as Dharam-Veer I watched together with Friend #1, Friend #2 being out of town (god, I really have to come up with better nicknames for them if I continue to write about our filmi sessions on this blog!). This time, the moment just wasn't right. The first half of the movie went swimmingly, my friend fearing constantly a Dharmendra up-skirt shot, which seemed to come around the corner but never (thankfully) did and us snarking the brilliant costuming in the film, and of course, the Wonder Bird Sheroo.

But as the movie continued, the complex, convoluted - maybe slightly stretched-out - plot began to bore me and my friend. The first two times I'd seen the film, I'd loved it to bits. Perhaps it was just the hour of the evening, the stress of the upcoming week creeping up to both of us.. Don't know. I still love the movie as ever, but I suppose it just isn't as tight in terms of direction as I'd want it to be. Then again, maybe Manmohan Desai films never are.


So, that's NIF Story Hour for this time.. I think my friends have had an overload of Hindi/Tamil films for now, but next time I'm considering showing them Nuvvostanante Nenoddantana, Jhoom Barabar Jhoom or Duplicate. Best keep it light.

Animated movies: you're doing it wrong.

Warning: This post is pure prejudice against what could be a perfectly fine movie that I haven't seen, nor intend to.

I can't put my finger on why Yash Raj Films' animation venture Roadside Romeo feels so wrong, misguided and unthrilling. Perhaps rather than one thing, it's a combination of several small things. Let me try to break it down.


1) The title. I know Hindi films and Tamil films have a tendency to romanticize sexual harrassment of females and I admit I've had a number of uncomfortable moments watching a film where the hero pesters the heroine and I'm just sitting there thinking "Dude, give up, she's not into you!". Roadside romeos are, as I understand it, those guys who lounge about and whistle at and follow pretty girls. The Tamil movie Boys I almost turned off because the boys in it engaged so heavily in this kind of behavior. Basically, the title brings to mind an euphenism for "total creep". Not the best first impression, you know?

2) It's a Bollywood movie ..with dogs! And animated! Because seriously, the promos make it seem like just that. Which would be fine but ..why? The thing about animation is you can do anything, so why stick to Hindi film conventions? And will kids - assumably the target audience - get into this at all, or will it be more something that the parents enjoy? And if only the parents enjoy it, there's no reason to make an animated movie, other than for the sake of having made an animated feature, and that's just lame. Unless you absolutely must make a Bollywood movies starring dogs as it is a life-long dream, which would be ..a little weird to say the least.

3) Laila. If you don't know, this is Kareena's character, the heroine of the film. And yes, a dog. A dog whose floppy ears are made to look like hair. Again, not understanding the need to make a film about dogs but make them extremely human-like in all aspects. Reminds me too much of furryism to be completely innocent, if you know what I mean. The first promo of Laila had her flirting with the director and him getting so excited the lens got fogged up. Um. It's a dog. It's a very female-looking dog, but it's still a dog and getting all hot over a dog is kind of ..I better not say. Laila's second promo had her performing some sort of an item number-esque song in what appeared to be animated Dhoom 2 sets. I know it's probably easier to make an animated dog dance than it is to teach Kareena Kapoor (Laila's voice actress) complicated dance steps but again, I really fail to see the point.

4) What I guess it all boils down .. the concept. The film seems like a Bollywood-reference packed romantic comedy. Animated films don't have to be something only kids enjoy but when the film is about dogs and the style of the animation is very conventional, you'd expect they'd at least make sure kids can understand it and enjoy it next to adults. If you're going to make a film mainly adults enjoy, why go through the trouble of animation? And why make them friggin' dogs if you're going to go out of your way to make them as human as possible?


I'm sure you could see this see as some sort of magnificent breaking ground in Hindi cinema, but I couldn't care less. There's always room for new films that acknowledge and parody the past great Hindi films, but this? A little too weird for me, I think.

The good, the bad and the misunderstood. Tashan.

It's a little bit weird to review a movie such as Tashan, which received a lot of hype prior to its release but never lived up to the expectations of the audience. Critics were less than fond of it, as well, and pretty much all of the Hindi movie loving crowd rejected the film. Of course there were things other than the film's quality that affected this catastrophic box office success; promotion was far from aggressive, and it clouded the film's actual plot in mystery. The director Vijay Krishna Acharya discussed the movies of his youth and how he and producer Aditya Chopra modelled the promotion according to those days; the days when you knew next to nothing about a film and had hardly seen a trailer when walking into the theater.

This promotional campaign, no matter how unuseful, was not the only thing Acharya took from the 1970's Hindi cinema. In a brilliant essay on 70's masala, Tashan and Om Shanti Om, Filmi Girl details all the throwbacks that make this film indeed seem like a grandchild of the days when Ajit was the villain, Amitabh was the hero and Pran featured in nearly every film you would see. Another fantastic review that gave me a bundle of interesting things to ponder regarding the movie was that of Qalandar's, which focuses on the topic of language in the movie - the Hindi, the English, which the characters speak and understand, and how this reflects them and their importance in the film. (Both of the linked reviews contain spoilers so surf carefully!)

The thoughts sparked by these reviews mark at least one thing - Tashan may be the brainchild of Dhoom 2 writer Acharya, but it is a far cry from the metro-crowd pleasing sleek action that the Hrithik starrer provided us with. In Tashan you have sand-dust and blood, revenge and betrayal. The true masala dish is also spiced with an awkward 'item number' where Kareena attempts to shake the booty Aditya Chopra told her to diet off, but the brief song scene is about the only thing that really reminds you of the writer's previous work.

The movie begins with Saif Ali Khan's Jeetender who in true urban fashion has turned into Jimmy, an English-speaking, English-thinking call center executive and part-time English teacher. He addresses the camera directly and brags about his lady conquests - the combination is somehow a turn-off and generally I regard the beginning quite poor. It alienates even me, the biggest Saif fan, by presenting a character that is like a poor, exaggerated replica of his characters in Salaam Namaste and Hum Tum. Jimmy meets Pooja (Kareena Kapoor), a beautiful girl asking for help, which leads him to teaching Anil Kapoor's cartoon-y villain Bhaiyyaji English. Jimmy is less concerned with teaching English, however, as he is with oggling at the beautiful Pooja. As luck would have it, though, she turns out to be quite the bag of tricks, leading Bhaiyyaji to call Bachchan Pande (Akshay Kumar), an UP wannabe-gangster, to work with Jimmy and catch the girl who cannot be trusted.

After the story truly kickstarts, following Pooja's disappearance and especially Bachchan Pande's powerful and amusing entrance, Tashan transforms from an awkward, messily narrated film into a fun masala ride that endeared me to its characters, its performances and its storyline. It's by no means the perfect film - besides the beginning, there are a few scenes and few plot diversions I think could be smoother or just better, but overall, I really enjoyed it both of the two viewings I've given it so far.

Saif's character Jimmy I only began to warm up to half-way through my second watch. It helps to see the character as the opposite of Bachchan - the illiterate who speaks a Kanpur-accented Hindi versus the urban English-speaker achiever. They don't have a lot of scenes together, but the relationship is important to the film, though it's clear that one learns more from the other than vice versa. On the other hand, Kareena's Pooja is the truly central character. While Akshay has the presence to carry the story, and he is easily many people's favourite thing about it (indeed Bachchan combines beautifully a lot of the things that Akshay can pull off - the comedic fool, the action hero, the romantic lead), Pooja brings something that Hindi film heroines sometimes lack. Not only does she kick ass and take names, she has the guts to toy with the male characters, and at the same time, have a vulnerable side to her. And despite her slightly too skinny form, Kareena looks gorgeous in the movie.

The film has its share of whacky moments, most importantly the song picturization of "Dil dance maare", which has an explanation and an amusing context in the film, but still makes you ask, "what the hell were they thinking?". Regardless, maybe the explanation is that they were thinking. The lyrics of the song read as a Hinglishized parody for Bollywood song clichés. Instead of 'gori gori', you get 'white white'. Is it a Hinglish song to mock Hinglish songs? Whatever it is, it's not to be taken seriously.

I'm a big fan of the soundtrack. Vishal-Shekhar have provided the movie an Indian rock sound, heard as electric guitar on several tracks and especially in the title song which brings some definite attitude. It's not everybody's thing, but as somebody who used to mostly listen to American rock before Hindi tunes came to my life, it suits me perfectly. Out of the picturizations, besides the crazy fun "Dil dance maare", my heart belongs to the beautiful "Falak tak", featuring Kareena and Akshay in various Indian locations.

Action movies have been far too sleek nowadays, but this film offers up rough and dirty fight scenes in an abundance. The action director Peter Hein has previously worked in the South, but while entertaining in here, I think his best work remains in the Tamil industry, for example the recent Rajni film Sivaji. Regardless, the scenes fit in the tradition of Hindi films - the gore of the post-Sholay industry. No bullets or wire-work go spared, and it could certainly be better, but I enjoyed a lot nonetheless.

Anil Kapoor's Bhaiyyaji is a confusing combination of a twisted, cold-hearted killer, and an amusing villain who speaks funnily. Regardless, the man is perfect for the role, and it's quite a wonder how accurate the overall casting for the film is. Kareena is given a very cool female role which she pulls off well, everybody but Saif as Jimmy would be a knock-off, Akshay was tailor-made for Bachchan and even the minor character casting seems pitch-perfect (the back stories of the main cast feature wonderful young talents).


If I have one major complaint to voice about Tashan, it would be the use of the title in the film itself, which strikes me as horribly gimmick-like. The look of the characters is mostly inconsequential and for example Saif's moustache does nothing but give me the creeps. To say any film is about "style" is to undermine its story and heighten the superficial qualities and despite what people may say, this is not a vapid film. It's a film like any film - made to entertain, but to call it stupid is to ultimately sell it short. But I suppose in the end the 'tashan' of Tashan is not about hair or looks, it's about the 'style within', the attitude and confidence.

A reading break with Omkara.

Filmiholic made me aware of a little book called Fantasies of a Bollywood Love Thief by Stephen Alter, a fantastic little inside look at the Hindi film industry as well as a making of the Vishal Bharadwaj film Omkara. It's fun read all around, and more than anything else, I love getting a true behind-the-scenes look at how the film came into being.

Omkara is not a film I've rewatched countless times. I adore it to pieces and it is among my favourites, easily, but as far as rewatching goes, the film is a little difficult to approach. Whereas most Hindi films will provide some sort of an emotional rollercoaster for their viewers, this adaptation of the Shakespeare play Othello is a tragedy by nature. It overwhelms me every time I see it.


The emotional turmoil this movie puts me through almost makes me wish it wasn't so good. Because that's truly what Omkara is, an all-around well-crafted movie, whether it's direction, music, script or cinematography. Alter's book made me feel like I was on set, and I especially enjoyed reading about the work of the director of photography, Tassaduq Hussein. Every frame of the film seems so carefully and beautifully composed, I was amazed that anything on a crappy Eros DVD could look so good (and the DVD surely could be better). The look and costumes of the actors is toned down and naturalistic, and the setting is a plain Uttar Pradesh village, but regardless the movie looks beautiful.

I followed the news around the movie prior to its release, and reading the book I was once again reminded by the articles that floated around as they were filming. It is somewhat ironic that the reports circulated around hair length of the current hot star couple, Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor. Saif had been hesitant to cut his hair for the role of the villain, Langda, whereas Kareena had incredibly long hair. The reason why it amuses me now is because while these superficial things were reported maniacally by the press - the only news items of any interest about the upcoming movie - the actors were working on some of their career's best work. Saif is unlikely to get as deeply involved with a role as he did with Langda (though we can hope), and I am sure I'm not the only one who Kareena won over with her perfectly innocent, naive Dolly, who loves selflessly until the end.

Of course Alter's book delves deeper, and it helps that Omkara truly has a world of its own, with its director's stamp all over it, from the setting to the language (not your standard Hindi/Urdu/English filmi lingo, but UP slang with crude expressions that these political mobsters surely would use). I like the notion that women get bigger roles than in the Shakespeare original, it seems very true. Perhaps the least grateful female part falls on Bipasha Basu's Billo, a dancer and girlfriend of Kesu (Vivek Oberoi), and even she has plenty of character. I would elaborate more, but there are simply too many things to cover; so many scenes I'd want to point out, so many details to mention.

So I guess if you have not seen it yet, do! It's a powerful adaptation that stands on its own, and a perfect mix of off-beat and masala; fantastic songs and popular actors in interesting roles. And if for nothing else, watch it for the following gorgeous pictures.





(I have way too many screencaps for this movie. I feel like I've screencapped every frame, nearly.)

Top five Hindi film heroines (to me).

I set out to do a Top Ten but didn't get far with it, hence a top five instead. Maybe it's because the standard for my favourite Hindi film heroines (as in, characters, not actresses) is quite high. It needs to be a good performance, a memorable character and above all, I feel like the heroine needs to shine brighter than the hero, which is a very difficult thing to achieve in movies that have been male-focused for the past three or four decades. If I brought down my standards, I might have a Top Ten. (Also, quite often the most interesting female roles aren't starring roles at all.)

Screencap from MariaKaefer.
Basanti from Sholay

A huge part of why I love Hema Malini today is her portrayal of Basanti, the chatterbox tongawalli and her mare Dhanno. It was really love at first sight, I had just finished marvelling at the combination of comedy (jailer!) and action (on a train!) of the movie, and then in walks this girl, and Veeru makes a move on her, and Jai acts indifferent, and she just keeps talking. I just loved her. She's just a burst of energy on-screen and always a pleasure to watch. While she has her share of typical damsel-in-distress moments, her spunk in general makes her stand out as one of the best things about the legendary film.

Geet from Jab We Met

The character of Geet owes to Hindi film's previous spunky heroines but the reason she's so great is because, well, she's one of those spunky heroines! They aren't too many, let me remind you. Film scripts sometimes tend to not give heroines any personality but this is not the case with Jab We Met, where the romance and characters are above all well-written, and Geet is absolute brimming with personality and character. She's lively and fun and talkative, with a strong sense of who she is, which is exactly why Shahid's Aditya falls in love with her, and most of the viewers do, too.

Sarika from Ek Hasina Thi

Yeah, I realize it's not a very typical masala feature, this one, so of course it will have a meatier, more interesting heroine role. But there are plenty of movies like that, and the reason I pick Sarika out of all of them is simple: a lot of such movies are good for a watch or two, but not many of such heroines have stayed with me the way Sarika and Urmila Matondkar in the role have. Sarika is many things; she starts out a slightly scared urban woman living alone, but develops into a dangerous lady who is afraid of little, extremely cunning and a little unbalanced, too. I love watching her journey, as awful as it is, over and over again, because she comes out on top, and that's what really counts.

Rhea from Hum Tum

The great thing about Kunal Kohli's two recent films - to be honest, my memories of Mujhe Dosti Karoge are vague - is that he always seems to give his heroines a choice. Rhea is a good example of a heroine whose choices dictate the entire story. She doesn't give the hero a time of the day until he grows up and learns some respect. She has a career, and she marries a guy out of love. She refuses to re-marry despite people pressuring her to do so. Overall, Rhea is a true individual, who thinks and decides for herself, and that's what really makes her awesome.

Geeta from Seeta Aur Geeta

Our second Geeta, who the first one owes a fair amount to. Geeta is the heroine who will raise hell when she sees injustice, and it's really very satisfying to see her do it - verbally, physically, she has the guts and the attitude to deliver in both ways. If Basanti was who made me curious about Hema Malini, the roles of Seeta and Geeta are what sealed the deal of her as a favourite. As most Hema roles are more Seeta than Geeta, I really cherish Geeta and Basanti as performances, not just because they were the first times I saw her in films, but also because they're really special, even considering the whole of her career. And as awesome, spunky heroines go, well worth the hype.

I leave you with an awesome Geeta fanvid to "These Boots Are Made For Walking" that I found on youtube just tonight.



So ..who are yours?

Tashan is slowly killing me. Emphasis on "slowly".

In Finnish there's an expression, "to wait [for something] like the rising moon" (odottaa kuin kuuta nousevaa - originated, I think, in a song). I've never waited for the moon to rise but I'm pretty sure it can't be worse than waiting for Yash Raj Films to start finally promoting their up-coming masterpiece by the name of Tashan.

The above picture is one of the few released stills we have of the movie, aside from paparazzi snapped shots (those we have two of, and they don't tell much). With the release of the Saif film Race, there were two short (and I do mean short, maybe little over 10 seconds in length) promos put out, which give us instrumental clips of the songs, with some groovy, over-the-top shaking done by the movie's three leads; Saif and Kareena in one promo, Akshay in another.

If you've never followed a Bollywood movie coming out, they usually let the film sink into the consciousness of Indian people for a month or two with the release of the soundtrack, hoping it'll catch on. They'll have song promos, dialogue promos, trailers running on television to make sure people not only hear the film, but see glimpses of it, and remember the release date - so they may drag themselves to theaters. But Yash Raj Films, perhaps having too much faith in this hyped movie starring BO king Akshay Kumar and the hottest 'it' jodi of the moment, Saif-Kareena, is letting the promotion be of the more "intriguing" kind.

The sad fact? I really doubt it'll work.


But who knows. The main reason I'm annoyed and impatient is because I.want.this.film.so.bad. It looks like it was made while on crack, then rolled in crack, deep-fried in crack and served with crack on the side. It looks fantastically insane and self-awarely goofy, and even if the goofiness is unintended, I will roll on the floor laughing and loving it, for certain. And the soundtrack, based on the pathetic little promos they've given us so far, sounds very ace indeed.

And come on, just look at it. Words simply fail to describe my enthusiasm, and my growing frustration with every day going by that there seems to be no development around this movie. They're trying my patience and killing me and succeeding in it, too.

If there continues to be no news about the soundtrack, come April 1st, you can see me going commando on this film banner. I'm going to knock them out like Bebo shadowboxes here ..and worse!

Oh, and the film releases April 25th - since it seems I have to do YRF PR office's job for them.

Where Sanni learns a lesson about remakes. Don (1978) and Don (2007).

WARNING: Contains MASSIVE SPOILERS for both films & rude language. Not recommended reading for those not familiar with BOTH films!




My Don reviews will be intertwined as I watched them nearly back-to-back, first the original and then rushing to my showing of the remake. But first, let's talk about me and Don. I'm a Leo and he likes wild cats but did I like him back? Not to begin with, no. See, I hadn't seen the original when the remake came out. However, I was uncomfortable with the premise of remaking a 70's masala classic and I couldn't care less about the movie itself, since it didn't star anybody I was nuts about (my favourite people in the cast to begin with were Boman and Kareena, and seeing it for just them didn't seem very clever). I was all, “Sure, director of DCH but Shahrukh, what are you doing yaar? Let's leave Amitabh roles where they belong – to Amitji, thik hai?”. So when it came time to choose in Diwali 2006, I chose Jaaneman (and haven't regretted, I loved JEM!). Don could go back to Malaysia for all I cared. As for the original? Well, I'd see it eventually, I figured. I wasn't the biggest Amitabh fangirl so all his 70's movies weren't on the top of my oldies to-see list.

So then the time came when I was forced to make an unpleasant choice between going to see Don or not seeing any Bollywood films on the big screen this year (seeing KANK again? Not an option!). I chose Don, and in retrospect, I'm so bloody glad I did.

I rushed to see the original first but thanks to circumstances, I was able to watch it only on the same day as the remake. This coloured my viewing a lot, in both good and bad. See, when you ignore a movie's existence for about a year, two things happen. One, you forget all those spoilers you read back when you didn't care. Two, you accept the fact the film has been made, released, and a lot of people seemed to enjoy it. Whether Farhan raped this or that about the original no longer seems like an issue – what's done is done. Now, I'll gladly save my rants for rumored remakes or ones that seem like very very bad ideas. This one exists, so be it.



So when I sat down with the original 70's funfest, I had this mental soundtrack of “I'm seeing the remake and they'll be doing this and that in it” running throughout the film. In a way it made me lose focus in the original. I was mostly watching it so I could aptly compare, and while it entertained me greatly whilst watching, I didn't ever fully submerge myself into its world. A lot of things about it were fabulous – the fact that the item number had a story behind it, everything with Zeenat and kung fu moves, the hilarious 70's masala features, everything with Pran's character, suitcases that explode, Amitabh's fashion... I thought the plot was overall awesome. It had a typically twisty 70's masala plot, full of evil guys and full of surprises along the way. But even that, the plot, couldn't save me from the inevitable thought pattern - “This is so awesome, no wonder they remade it!”.

I guess a part of why this otherwise fantastic movie didn't make its way into my heart was Amitabh. Don't get me wrong, he was great in the original but much like Shahrukh, he's not a favourite and he doesn't make my heart burst with joy to watch him on-screen. He was fun and cool, but just not to the extent that I'd absolutely adore him.

My favourite scene oddly enough – and one I'm weirdly sad about not being in the remake – is the one where Roma goes to seek martial arts training. It's so hilarious in its ridiculousness but at the same time, it's a very character defining moment and I like the part the teacher played in her revenge overall. I felt like maybe Priyanka's Roma could've used this type of a silly moment. The moment when Zeenat walks out, hair short and fully martial arts trained? Pure awesome. Made of awesome.



Then onto the remake, and whoever genius thought it'd be fantastic to run an outdoor theater in Finland in September, I must congratulate you. Thank god they'd at least set up warmers and things as a roof so we didnt have to sit in the rain. Anyway, the film starts rolling and I know what to expect – sleek look, high budget, professionally choreographed martial arts (not exactly Hong Kong but hey, they're trying!). Now, the look and feel of the movie was pretty top-notch maybe apart from a couple of things. Like I don't understand why the last fight needed to be partly slow-mo, it looked somehow vapid. Not that I wasn't having a ball, but regardless.

I'm quite fond of the soundtracks of both films, but don't absolutely love either. I love the catchy Khaike Paan in both movies, and the picturizations were a blast as well (for some reason the remake one reminded me of the good old goofy!Shahrukh who I haven't seen since I last watched Duplicate – I miss goofy!Shahrukh and the song was an awesome reminder), and Main Hoon Don by Shaan (in the remake, of course) makes me swoon (the picturization makes me LOL and not much else). Yeh Mera Dil in the original form as a song, is awesome, but Helen's scary contact lense eyes and all that shaking did not really give me the ultimate seduction song feel. Mind you, neither did Kareena's performance, but she was way hotter and I liked the moments when she looks uncomfortable, showing her true feelings. Now if only Shahrukh hadn't done his dirty old man face at her, I could've really enjoyed the picturization.

In the original, I really loved the song picturization where Zeenat looked gorgeous and danced in a blue dress. I somehow saw Aaj Ki Raat as its equivalent, and while AKR was lovely, I still prefer Zeenat looking gorgeous. I'm biased but forgive me that. Unpopular opinion? Amitabh with eyeliner in the Bombay song was just creepy.

Now, to me the remake performances aren't really about replacing anybody. Though if we were going to think about replacements, I would give the honor to Arjun, who actually made me tear up in his little backstory section. He owned Pran's role and with no offence to Pran, whose antics are classic in any role he played, Arjun just did fantastic in here. Priyanka is okay but I'm not really moved by her in here. Mind you, even in the original I thought the whole Roma-Vijay romance was feeble.

Shahrukh is being Don, is being Vijay but Shahrukh is also being Shahrukh. Being because Shahrukh's one of those stars who's perhaps a bit above acting, I realized. Shahrukh does a great job being Shahrukh. It doesn't always work for me, unfortunately, but when it does, it's a joy. In here, it was sort of half and half. Half was me loving the insane act that was Shahrukh, every mannerism, every look, every part of the act. The other half was me giggling at the ridiculousness of the act that is Shahrukh Khan, rolling my eyes and thinking, “Okay, yeah, Amitabh did that better.”

Boman's character brings me to the changes they made. I was initially looking forward to Om Puri turning out this nasty guy all of the sudden but I was confused about lack of Vardhaan. When the pieces finally came together, my jaw nearly fell on the ground. I say nearly because it wasn't that surprising, I did remember there being something fishy about Boman. He did a great job, naturally. He's Boman – do we ever expect less? Nah, didn't think so. I thought a lot of the changes were quite frankly unnecessary. Like, it seemed like they were stirring the pot just for the sake of stirring it. Of course, the fight on the mountain bridge is a handsome visual compared to the all-over-the-place cheesefest cemetary fight at the end of the original, but surely they didn't make all those plot changes just to have that scene? Hmm.

Somewhere in the back of my head I recalled a spoiler about them not killing off somebody. I thought it was De Silva, and I was like “Okay, Boman lives, rock on!”. When it turns out it's actually been Don all along, saving his own skin with the mask of Vijay, I'm sorry – my mind was blown. And right there I forgave them for stirring the pot unnecessarily earlier, and I finally understood why they'd cut what was Anita's character's most crucial moment in the original – the dialogue where she's miffed about post-accident Don preferring Roma to her, and somebody tells her, “Face it, Don didn't change – his girlfriend did.”

As weird and cop-out like (space for a sequel, isn't it, you greedy bastards?) as the twist seemed, to me it sort of crowned the otherwise entertaining movie experience of BOTH films. I loved the plot of the original – it didn't really need any changes – but for the remake, that was the kicker, the thing that sort of spices the whole thing up and brings it to the new millennium. A little bit unfair to the viewer, a bit of a 'fuck you' to anybody who didn't even consider the possibility of it (I did always find it fishy that Don didn't die right away, BEFORE they got in contact with Vijay) but it's what made me leave the theater with a huge grin on my face.

I still don't think we need to catch the motherfucker in a sequel, though.

(This post was shamelessly copied from my original livejournal post - I decided I liked it so much it didn't need much editing.)