Friday, March 5, 2010

Twitterati, twitterwasis, twitdoesntmatter...

I don't consider myself any authority on anything but if I may make some bold claims about Bollywood twitterati, I'll say this:

All hail R_Khanna.

"Back-to-back evenings full of glamour, dancing, sex, violence & raw, pulsing drama. Who needs Bollywood when it's wedding season in India?"
Weddings in India are masala films that also contain sex? If so, can I go to the ones Rahul Khanna attends? Please?

No wonder I rarely see this guy in mainstream films. He's way too busy. Way too busy being awesome.

He's so normal and flawed like the rest of us, but not in a cringe-inducing way!

Walk briskly past Duty Free, Rahul. Do not make eye-contact with the Chunky Kit-Kat display. I repeat, do NOT make... Arrgh - too late!"
Kit-Kat addiction! Could this man be more adorable? I doubt it.

Perhaps I can use my recovery time to write books under the nom de plume Ian Phlegming. Should I start with A View to a Chill or Coldfinger?"
Let's marry. Or at the very least, Twittermarry. Matwimony?

But as always, in Twitterverse, with the good comes the bad.

It is with a heavy heart that I return to my mortal twenemy, Uday Chopra.

I can see the future...and i can see that tomorrow...I will wake up with a smile...good night my lovely twitteronians...a new word for y'all"
We didn't ask for a new word. Don't you remember what I told you about mid-chlorians? Why don't you just call us people? We're people, like you! Only better at tweeting. And acting.

"Ive discovered a truth about myself tday..I cant type with my eyes closed..ufrrk juhr u tu erute dubvet guvfso..guess its best 2 say gdnight"

I could've told you as much. And I'm typing this with my eyes closed, too.

And now we also have a new kid on the block, who doesn't ask "main aisa kyun hoon?" but instead makes us question everything we know. Like the meaning of life (inspirational poster by Ajnabi). And such. And ...time for the gym!

iHrithik, comes free with most Macbooks.

"Goodnite my beautiful tweeple,I'm humbled by ur love! GOd bless you ALL! N thank u from d bottom of my heart!may tom b beeautiful 4 u n me!!"
Everythings just real speciall!! In his world!!! Overusing exclamation marks!!! Is a sure-fire way to show you're new on the internet!!!

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE ?....... Whatever U WANT it TO BE !!! ;) goodnite tweeple! Good luck 4 Exams, work, and evrything else!!!"
Truly inspirational stuff.

But of course, even a great man such as the mythical iHrithik has to run into some questionable, fail-type waters. Such as not realizing that even if a Pakistani kid is being called "paki" and bullied, it doesn't really do much to stand up and be "proud" of your Pakistani heritage. I mean, in the UK it's a racial slur, not an insult against being Pakistani.


My fav supplements- vit C, multivitamin, antioxident, L-glutamine, omega 3(never 6), creatine(only to bulk 4 short periods),.."
Write what you know, Hrithik. Write what you know.

Oh oh oh remember that Shahrukh guy who twitterized poetry last time I covered his tweets? Well, he's still tweeting, apparently. I guess he has a new movie out and he's trying to promote it. Sweet kid, I hope some people go see it.

love u all my knightwriters. celebrating dark...silence...quiet...dreams...and shutting down of the day. will reopen tomorrow...goodknight."
What the what now? Dude, you gotta stop rewatching The Dark Knight. You are not Batman. I mean if Mumbai needed a dark knight, you have enough moolah to go all Bruce Wayne on it but you're not Batman. Or are you? Is this your way of telling us..?

"batman/trackpants/dont like visits...i am homebody/dont like to swim but have to for my shoulder/sundays at home/want to do a comedy now"

...Holy item number, Batman, it's ...Bombay ka Batman!!!

And with this revelation, I shall go away. But Bollycelebrities on Twitter, remember, I am watching you. I may not be following you because I like to keep my brain clean, but I am watching you.

PS. Rahul, '@' me anytime! I promise you I'm not the weird foreign chick who pervs on most males in your family. No, no. That's Beth, you see. I'm totally regular and well-adjusted.

PPS. Beth, sorry for throwing you under the bus there. All's fair in love and war and Khanna, hai na? ;)


Anishok said...

Jumping in to defend my boy SRK! :P

He promotes his Knight Riders cricket team by overusing the "K" (yeah, it's still pointless and annoying, but at least not related to Batman!).

Err, sorry for being a spoilsport and pooping on the Batman-Knight connection there.

I'd love to see you do a feature on Genelia or Shahid *evil laugh*.

ajnabi said...

OMG, poor Shahid. Simultaneously so heartfelt and such a bad Twitter-er. V v sad. (I've never followed Genelia, mostly because I've heard such awful things.

I totally think all's fair in love and Khanna, particularly R. Khanna, though I'd love to see what his brother contributed to the Twitterverse as well.

Freaking Uday. Dude. Stop it. (And thanks for posting the inspirational poster. LOL)

veracious said...

Anishok - facts? So boring! :D

Maybe I should investigate Shahid & Genelia, if my brain can take it.

Ajnabi - I am not sure if Akshaye has much to offer. I'm not even sure what he's doing nowadays.

But re: Uday, yes.

MsBlogger said...

And I'll jump to defend my Shahid, he's kind of quit with the gym tweets and moved on to haircuts, all the same they are really heartfelt, loving, occasionally inspiring tweets that really need punctuation. The philosophical tweets get repetetive but you gotta love the guy when he makes typos but doesn't delete the original tweet so we can all have a laugh about it!

R_Khanna is really hilarious, thanks for this veracious!

Anonymous said...

Veraciously, you have officially become my favorite Bollywood blogger. I love Rahul (he actually direct messaged me once - it was awesome.) His tweets are great too.

Also, I like Akshaye, although I've only seen him in Dil Chahta Hai and Race. He was good in both.

Appreciate the Uday hate, but I feel SO sorry for him because he's a joke and he knows he's a joke.

Please, please do another post on Sakshay. I beg of you. Their jodi needs to be explored further.

Shweta Mehrotra Gahlawat said...

I'm just SO over half of twittering Bollywood- they really are the most boring twitterers- the blogging community is more fun to follow! I stopped following about 10 of the Bolly actors this morning :D

Daddy's Girl said...

Fun post!!! I don't see many flaws with the twitter version of Rahul Khanna though (except, of course, totally cute and endearing ones like Kit-Kat and flu medication addictions aside) - on twitter he's like the perfect guy - funny, sweet, witty, humane, well-read, urbane, well-travelled, animal-loving, intelligent, enlightened, well-spoken, open-minded, slightly self-deprecating but not in a self-conscious way. Add to all that the fact that he posts really hot pictures of himself and is thoughtful enough to send direct messages to some of his followers, and I guess it's no surprise that so many of us love 'twitter Rahul'. 'Matwimony' to him would indeed be ideal, but till then I'll keep hope alive for a DM someday!

veracious said...

MsBlogger - I haven't as much as looked at Shahid's Twitter so I can't comment on it. Even badly spelled can be heartwarming, though.. I guess. :D

Anon - Aww, thanks! As for your wish for more Sakshay, I feel like I've done many, many many posts about them already, perhaps enough. If they ever make another movie together, I'll be on it.

Shweta - Too true. I haven't unfollowed that many people but some people I haven't followed to begin with because a glance at their tweets has told me enough.

DG - So true about Rahul Khanna, you are spot on. He's difficult NOT to crush on if one is a female of the heterosexual persuasion. Seriously. I also want a DM if I can't have solid matwimony. :(

MsBlogger said...

Wow, I was getting ready for some bashing there! So sweet of you to not start attacking me electronically for my love for Shahid's tweets... Although if you do visit I doubt you'll like what you see...

He spelt happy as hazppy and in his next tweet he corrected himself but left the original tweet so we could all see, which in my biased opinion is cute :)

shell said...

I can't help but laugh at how our beloved stars have come under such scrutiny for their tweets. It used to be never meet your idol. Now it's don't follow your idol on twitter. However, it sure is fun!

veracious said...

MsBlogger - Hahaha. All happy needs is an extra 'z' to spice it up. Oh Shahid. I'll visit his Twitter for my next post!

Shell - Yeah, it's fun, but of course, changes one's perceptions, usually for the worse..

Beth said...

Oops! Missed this one somehow. It's fair to throw me under the bus, especially because I have admitted said family-wide pyaar in public many times :)

RAHUL ZINDAABAAD!!!! That is all.