Introducing .. the best movie ever! Main Khiladi Tu Anari.

I'm going to be moving which means a blogging pause for exactly how long, I'm not sure. To bear you over this terrible time, I thought I'd
a) finish up the Introducing Sakshay series
b) plug my favourite bad movie
and c) picspam the best movie ever. <sup>1

1</sup> ..according to a youtube comment.

Main Khiladi Tu Anari - what is there to say about this brilliant piece of celluloid history. How to do justice to such a legend with mere words?

Perhaps in order to dissect this mythical creature we need to start with the basics.

Saif Ali Khan, in the most retrospectively ironic role perhaps ever, plays Deepak Kumar, a super-star who is sick of lover roles in romantic melodramas. He's looking for a role with edge, sensible movies, angry young man, or as he puts it here: "A storm!"

Just as he speaks those fateful words, who should walk in and by walk in I mean kick the door in and enter but Karan Joglekar (portrayed by none other than Akshay Kumar), a cop who is determined to fight crime, especially now that some crooks killed his brother (look, it's the plot reminding us of its existence! hello plot!). Karan happens to be exactly the kind of storm Deepak is looking to play, and impressed with what he sees, he strikes a deal with Karan's boss to tail the badass cop in order to learn some style from him.

I know, method actors in Bollywood, how outrageous is that? But bear with me, the beautiful lack of logic can only lead to good things.

Karan is not happy but agrees to let Deepak tail him on one condition; Deepak has to teach Basanti (Shilpa Shetty), a girl who dances on the street and looks after a bunch of orphans (why of course!), how to act like the night club dancer Mona, who worked alongside this bad guy before agreeing to testify against him, but of course the villain killed her and now Basanti magically appears and looks exactly like Mona. Phew. The complexity of this plot is mind-boggling, I'm telling you. So anyway! Deepak agrees, Basanti turns into Mona, Basanti gets to meet her orphans again and Deepak gets super-emotional like the girl that he is:

Heart-warming, hai na?

What follows is various scenes where Akki is a complete badass, and Saif is a total goof, and a bunch of really wtf-inducing weirdness (the romance in this film is ..well, let's just say the Saif-Akshay relationship is the most normal one in it). There is a lot of corny dance moves, and vague gayness and it all adds up to class A entertainment.

No one in this world should be so cynical as to not enjoy movies of this kind. MKTA practically defines "so-bad-it's-good" in my books. Of course, there can be arguments regarding on how great it would be if it was better, or had a little less WTF-ery, or contained a little more logic, but at the end of the day, it is what it is and what it is, is sheer genius.

You've got Saif in one of the few successful roles he had during the 90's, showing that the man did have a smidgeon of talent even back then; his comic timing is occasionally very good here. You've got Akshay in what is probably the best Khiladi role of them all, kicking ass and taking names, and then kicking ass with said list of names. You've got old-nose-Shilpa, delivering those gyrating-hips-type dance moves with the kind of grace you'd expect from a movie this subtle. Shakti Kapoor as the villain, Anu Malik in charge of the music and the singing on the absolutely worst Hinglish song ever, "My Adorable Darling", the list is as long as the crimes 90's Bollywood commited against humanity.

But of course, in here somewhere, there is a message, a profound teaching to the great masses, a story of love, and of friendship; a story of acceptance, and understanding; a story of how a badass and a wimp can join hands in holy celluloid matrimony ... but you know, even if there is no great message here to take home, you should watch this movie.

If you won't, I'll gladly watch it for you.