Introducing Sakshay, part 1: Tu Chor Main Sipahi.

So while waiting for my favourite money-hungry (but in their defence, they do greed in style) banner, Yash Raj Films, to get off their bums and release the soundtrack of Tashan, my most awaited movie 2008 (and perhaps ever), I thought I'd do reviews for all of the five previous Sakshay movies in here.

In true Sakshay tradition, I begin from the worst and work up to the best.

Tu Chor Main Sipahi is a cringeworthily bad movie. I mean, it is just so unexcitedly unterrific I would only recommend it over driving yourself off a cliff as far as ways to spend time go. The title sums up the plot; Saif is a thief and Akshay is the cop who abandons rules for the sake of justice, hunting down the hard-to-catch thief that is Saif. Add a village, a villain, awful songs and the awkward presence of Tabu (poor girl!) and you've got Tu Chor.

Whatever good things my Sakshay-biased brain might delude itself into seeing, the boring badness of the film completely brings everything down. There is simply no campy so-bad-it's-good factor to make the film enjoyable. None. The usually delightful Sakshay dynamic is poor here - the two as enemies might be interesting but the script is simply hopeless.

The best thing about the movie is that it ends, and that it ends like this. No, I don't mind spoiling you the whole movie. Anything to make sure you don't watch it. I'm usually of the view people ought not to be spoiled movies, any movie, unless they so wish themselves. This time, I will make an exception.

Don't see it. And if you must defy this humble request, at least don't pay for it.