Hema is pretty, Dharmendra is young and I am discontent: Tum Haseen Main Jawaan.

I know, this isn't fair. This shouldn't be possible to begin with. A cracky, goofy, comedic masala with Dharmendra, Hema and Pran and I don't like it?

What went wrong with me and Tum Haseen Main Jawaan? If only I knew! I suppose it's a mood thing. I watched this film in two bits and during both times I just wasn't feeling it. I wanted to see a fun Hema/Dharam masala but this wasn't hitting the right buttons, the ones their films such as Jugnu, Seeta Aur Geeta, hell even the not-that-amazing films like Patthar Aur Payal and Shafarat had done. The comedy felt like really tired slapstick, the chemistry between Dharam and Hema was merely okay, the songs worked but didn't excite.. Sigh.

The story is centered around a baby, who his villanous uncle (Pran) wants to kill in order to receive the inheritance of the baby's father. The baby's mother is forced to separate from her child, and her sister Anuradha (Hema Malini) takes the baby instead. Through a confused misplacement of the baby (because let's face it, babies get lost all the time!), the baby ends up on the boat of sailor Sunil (Dharmendra). Cue some incredibly long comedic hijinks that finally end when the boat arrives to shore and Sunil begins to take care of the baby. Anuradha finds him and becomes a nanny for the baby, without telling Sunil about her connection to the child.

This film really ought to be more entertaining than it ends up being. It takes an hour for our leads to meet, and none of the build up is worth it. Everything is so goofball it essentially becomes grating. And I like goofball comedy! So annoying.

Pran! Helen! All the classic ingredients are there!

Either this movie really was lame or then I need to go see a doctor.

Oh and speaking of lame comedy, there's a lot of scenes where Sunil's friend crossdresses. In true Some Like It Hot fashion, he meets a girl and then dresses up as a rich sailor (only the joke is, he's really a sailor!) and meets her on a beach. Oh and her boss falls in love with his crossdressing form. I liked the Some Like It Hot nod a lot but good god this actor was painfully unfunny. Give me the original any day of the week.

Oh, jodi, what do I do for you..

It's always a puzzle to me why I don't gel with certain movies. Sometimes it's as clear as the day; I don't need to pick apart my viewing experience of Tum Chor Main Sipahi to know that movie is garbage. Other times, it's a very specific problem with an otherwise okay film - Kal Ho Naa Ho I would like a lot if it wasn't for certain actions and motivations of the characters. And then there are films like this, which I might've liked, had I been on a different mood, had I watched it at a different time in my filmi-watching career.

Onwards and upwards.